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Too Adult For The Sandbox

Published July 30, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

It’s no easy task to live fully, at the same time I liken it to falling asleep– more effort, equates to more difficulty.

The other day I wrote about identity and how carefully crafting yours based on reality will help you achieve fulfillment.

But today the thing most on my mind is playing with the toys you have.

To quote Captain Jack Sparrow, “The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.

Why do we lose our sense of play? Why do we take ourselves so seriously?

Have you ever noticed how much easier life is when we roll with it? When we’re in a state of play our stiffness is replaced with fluidity, and most of our problems slide rather than stick.

I think it’s a quote from Alan Watts that went something like, “We suffer because we take serious what the Gods made for fun.”

It’s funny. I won’t speak for you, but I think a lot of us somehow got the idea that the ironic and cynical attitude is cool. The cold and aloof person– they somehow possess intelligence and power, when in fact it’s the opposite.

Optimism takes strength, especially today.

It’s easy to be cynical. It’s easy to be a pessimist. It takes ZERO effort and ZERO courage. In a way, it’s a result of having given up on life itself.

The hardest thing in the world is to stay positive surrounded by cheap default negativity. This is what I’ve decided to make my way.

My way and my approach to life will be a willful optimism. I’m naturally skeptical and harsh by nature, I can’t pretend that away.

But I’ll choose to shift my perspective.

Willpower is necessary to start, and I’ll use all of mine to live a fulfilling life.

Wherever you are– play.

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Building Your Human: The Promethean Task of Identity

Published July 29, 2021 by V

The greatest determining factor of what kind of life you’ll live and what you’ll achieve is identity.

A lot of us misinterpret what this actually means.

I mean, we are who we are and we are how we are, so what is there to do? While it’s true that your personality is set, your identity is different.

Identity is made up of values, beliefs, and personality. While you can’t change the last, the first two are very much upgrade-able.

My conflict has always been this– I want to be who I truly am underneath, but I also want to be better than I am. How can you be more and be the same?

Well, I think I’ve got it.

Your nature is unchangeable. I’ve tried everything in the book, all the lessons from all the masters, and can tell you it’s pointless and depressing to attempt to pretend away your core.

It doesn’t work and serves to make you delusional and even worse, disconnected.

The way to evolve is to take that unique core, figure it out as much as possible, study yourself like a scientist and then find areas in life to better channel it.

If I naturally have a highly charged emotional nature, the flip side of that coin might be a creative mind– choose a skill that can better channel this and to ensure you dominate the skill and stay the course start saying I AM THE PERSON WHO…. (fill in the blank).

(Why dominate the skill? Because it takes total commitment to the path for you to fully evolve. I wish it didn’t… but it does).

The catch here, you have to choose something you care about, something you actually want to learn and have an interest in, and once chosen that little I AM statement will ensure you re-configure your identity to constantly embrace that task.

Here are some examples of things I’m learning that I use I AM statements to better build myself and ensure I keep the focus on learning:

I AM A MARTIAL ARTIST.

I AM A WRITER /DIRECTOR.

I AM A STUDENT OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR.

What is the point of doing this? It might seem affirmational, quirky, or law of attraction-y but it isn’t.

This is psychology.

For whatever reason, each of us is bound by social contracts– even to ourselves. The brain upgrades software through consistency, knowing this feature, you can leverage it to your advantage.

So, you should be who you truly are.

That’s what destiny is.

It’s you uncovering what you are to the core, what makes you unique and living that out– AT THE SAME TIME, when you know your uniqueness intimately, you can better channel it to build yourself into something more.

Enjoy re-discovering yourself.

Play, in truth this entire process should be nothing more than play, which is brought about by genuine curiosity.

#PlayFoolish

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Yours Is The Only Path: There are no forks, turns, twists, and dwarfs

Published July 28, 2021 by V

You know, I look back at all these posts and I sound like a broken record player. I guess, each of us just circles our own wounds, tracing the length with our tongues– constantly talking around the same thing.

How I’m not sick of regurgitating the same topics is a mystery to me?

But I guess hurt people hurt… and confused people teach.

Anyways, I want to talk about “The Path.” It’s far more simple than I thought it was but there is a barrier to entry.

For whatever reason, I finally reached a point in my life where it’s about the work. I want to work and I want to do good work.

This might not sound all that revolutionary, but hear me out. The more I dive in, the more engaged I become, the more my mind focuses on everything in front of me, and I find myself fulfilled. The alternative to this– was me constantly comparing myself to others, wanting cheap success (fame and fortune) and being followed closely by an inescapable misery.

The alternative was being possessed by restless imagination, which serves to drive you completely insane running bullshit simulatory dreams on what life should be, robbing the present of meaning and fulfillment.

Play the game of fantasy and you’ll forever be disconnected.

But you know what, in the last year my inescapable shadow has lightened. I might still be a “difficult” person, but I suffer FAR LESS from this false world and I attribute that to the work.

The answer is not to desire nothing, but desire the path you are already on. Don’t wish for changing lanes, wish to drive this out.

It isn’t hokey, it’s fulfilling.

Our path is the only path. There is nothing else, nothing other than where we are and who we are.

Go all in and what’s before you, and you will find yourself living a far greater life.

#FoolsGold

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Don’t Get Sucked In: Your Blindspots are Blackholes

Published July 25, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

Is there anything *supposedly* good for you, that makes you feel like shit? If that thing is remotely related to your genetic blind spots, don’t attack it directly.

For most people, having purpose and direction is incredibly important. It’s uplifting and provides a greater resilience…. but for me, who has craved an all consuming reason for existence since my inception, it’s a blackhole.

Blackholes are the areas of our lives that we want more than anything, where we’re delusional, unreasonable, childlike… for whatever reason, we’re always drawn to this area but reality is distorted here.

Everyone has their own blackholes.

Moving towards them directly never leads to any good– you’ll get sucked in and spit out. A lot of us won’t ever learn, we just keep repeating the cycle (think the person who wants to be a singer, but can’t hear how awful they sound– and pursue it forever).

Anytime I’ve chased my delusional dreams– fantasies, the thing I think I want for no apparent reason, my life becomes complete chaos. I lose my progress, stability, and end up having to start over.

The result of you believing in your magic, in these fantasies, is being stuck in a spiral of never getting ahead.

Ruthless practicality is the only way to become a better astronaut.

Once you’re more skilled, then maybe you can see the blackhole for what it is and possibly navigate it, if that’s still the goal.

But all of us share the same first step– we have to see our blindspots and then get better of them.

I suffered from imagination (and still do) and always will. That sounds spiritual, but what it looks like is my mind constantly craving the world, achievement on the biggest stage, accolades and success, and my life to have ZERO dull or boring moments…. is that really a lot to ask for?

What I came to realize is my mind is wrong in this area. When it comes to career and purpose, I don’t trust it. This is how I got ahead.

Knowing that reality is distorted for me here, I instead went practical. I considered my skills, my temperament and natural inclinations, and started there.

That’s how I began a new career, got financially ahead, and started building a life I enjoy.

Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t resemble the craving blackhole at all. But who cares, now I have a life.

Waiting for those fantasies robs you.

FUCK desire. What can you build?

Stop wanting. Start small.

#FoolForward

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Don’t Cross Your Lines: Finding Fulfillment

Published July 23, 2021 by V

You ever have those realizations, which are obvious but somehow profound when they suddenly hit?

Well a few days ago, I finally had mine. You just sit here unhappy, wondering why we do all the things we do, why can’t we be different, why don’t we do better.

All stupid time wasting things.

It’s self-esteem defeating and this societal process is actually worthless. Let me tell you what I’ve learned that has instantly changed my life for the better.

The gurus tell you to re-define yourself. As if you were the one who wired yourself in the first place– step 1, quit listening to idiots.

Step 2: watch don’t judge. If you asked me to write my values on paper, some you’d see reflected in my daily actions… but unfortunately –some you wouldn’t.

There is what we say and what we do, and the truth is in the “do.”

But this is the best thing you’ll ever learn if you understand it and use it. Wanna find a life of passion, excitement, and fulfillment? First, find your lines.

You live your values every single day, and when you fulfill them life itself is RICHER.

If you’re a business owner who is always putting the customer first, and behind the scenes you profess that you hate it but sure enough, without fail, as soon as there are customers you put them first. Later, you’re talking about how you helped them, what they said, and what happened– WELL, like it or not, that’s YOUR VALUE!!!

YOU VALUE HELPING OTHERS IN THIS WAY.

It’s not an accident you do this. We do what we are, and you SHOULD continue to do this. Looking at others, or saying you don’t like it anymore because you’re tired is stupid.

Sure, there can be a better way of doing things and you should find them, but thinking you can pick something different is like saying you’re going to be someone different……

that will never be possible and even worse, as soon as you stop doing what you are– you’ll be depressed. Depression comes from disconnection, when we live by who we uniquely are– we are fulfilled, when we don’t– we’re medicated and distracted.

I profess how much I HATE dependence and believe me I do. BUT one of my top genetic values is camaraderie and so I always feel fulfilled and engaged when I’m working together with my team. I’m so naturally disagreeable that I’ve tried to wash this trait out of me, but as soon as I work with my team, without fail, I return to a better version of me.

I become fulfilled because I’m becoming myself.

Like it or not, I need this to feel alive.

This is what you need to find, and to find it record your day before you go to bed. How did you act? What did you do? How much of those things do you regularly do? What days were good days? What days were bad days?

We’re not looking for the thing itself, we’re looking for the values behind them.

If you live out what you naturally value and stop judging it, you’ll find fulfillment and success (how you define it).

This is the secret. No stupid universal laws, no self improvement books, no dumbass gurus courses.

These values are unique to you, all you have to do is uncover them and then LIVE them.

#FoolForward

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Licking Wounds: Listen to what you’re saying…

Published July 4, 2021 by V

It feels like it was another lifetime ago, but I once had a professor who said we all reeked of who we were.

For a long time, I didn’t see this but now having my thoughts documented throughout the years… that, and a little more self awareness– it’s obvious.

What I’ve noticed is your tongue naturally moves towards your wounds. During a conversation, assuming the two parties are close, both will start to talk about what’s on their mind.

AND IT NEVER CHANGES.

You are what you are. Since my toddler-trodding days, as a child who didn’t know shit about anything– even then, the only thing I ever cared about was my passion and purpose.

And today? Yup. In blogs, journals, and conversations– the thing I’m working out while I speak– my f**king passion, help me understand UNIVERSE!!!

It’s always the same. It’s the same for me, you, and every human being on the planet. We lick our wounds too.

The key to you understanding yourself on the deepest level, and upgrading yourself and your life, is this: Pay attention to what you keep talking about.

For some it’ll be relationships, for others things, but everyone does it.

To finally be able to see and hear yourself is a superpower. In doing so, you can cut the self-improvement crap, and immediately work on what’s actually bothering you.

What’s my obsession with purpose, calling, and passion?

I lacked meaning. I wanted something to dedicate my life to. When I realized this, I made progress.

For you it’ll likely be totally different.

No need to read about it or wonder, as you talk to people throughout the day… as soon as you end that day- reflect.

Where did my tongue go?

Do this, and gain the thing you’re looking for.

#FoolAround

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Wake Up: What I finally came to understand about Chasing Dreams…

Published July 3, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

There’s always a lot of selling going on.

Ideas, products, courses, beliefs, pretty much everything we’ve got we were sold, either by someone else or ourselves.

What I’ve come to finally realize is my idea of success was TOXIC. No clue how it took me this long to see it, but it’s crystal clear to me now.

Chasing dreams is a bad idea.

We should also define this before I end up sounding like Mr. Scrooge.

By chasing dreams, I mean the individual who only a few years ago realized they love singing, but never practice, sound like an elephant giving birth, and isn’t studying the craft or trying to get better.

We laugh at them on reality shows, but in truth… we’re not so different.

How is you wanting to be a millionaire unalike? Are you working 24/7 on a side business? Are you studying the greats in your free time. A lot of you haven’t made $10 side hustling and you’re talking about smoking Elon.

I’m not saying it isn’t doable, I’m saying chasing dreams leads to a nightmare life.

We have to be practical.

All fulfillment comes from skills, actual skills… learned skills…

This is what led to my life becoming awesome. No manifestation, law of “it comes to me because I am a creator”, none of that.

I became the person I wanted to be, by DEDICATING TO IT.

I didn’t dream it up, I chased skills, discipline, and gradually strengthened myself. Dreams are like sugar highs– maybe fun in the moment, but you will crash.

I recommend pursuing goals. Goals are actionable, practical, and will level you TF up when pursued properly.

But what do I know?

#StayFoolish

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Why You Don’t Need To Change

Published June 15, 2021 by V

Because you can’t.

Hey Fool.

If you’re anything like me, you desire an upgraded version of yourself. Thanks to our guru culture, it definitely feels like we’re supposed to pursue evolution… in a way, it almost feels like we’re failures if we’re not constantly chasing it.

Between the cold showers, meditation, trendy diets, speed reading courses, and morning routines– how could you possibly stay the same?

Well, what the spiritual, course-selling entrepreneurs never mention is NONE of that is necessary. It may help you a tiny bit, but if it does it’ll be indirectly.

People don’t change.

We come into this world as already something– with inclinations, traits, random dispositions, etc.

To build a fulfilling life, you need to really get to know who you are to the core, not try to baptize it away with cold showers.

Just because someone is a millionaire or successful, doesn’t mean they’re not an idiot.

When it comes to psychology and human nature… most gurus are straight idiots. Not only do you not need to change, because you really can’t, BUT the only YOU DO NEED is SKILLS.

That’s the only secret sauce to life.

You should choose to learn and pursue skills you’re interested in, and by being interested in them, that alone is a sign of your individuality… since it’s you who chose them.

You’ll level up. You’ll upgrade yourself through learning. You’ll get better without making yourself miserable doing all those bullshit routines.

So, which skill would you want to learn?

#FoolMeOnce

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How To Play The Unwinnable Game

Published June 12, 2021 by V

IT isn’t passion, so what did these gurus leave out of their gawdawful courses?

Skills.

There isn’t a subject, niche, career, or activity that when found gets rid of all your problems. It doesn’t work like that.

Without knowing it, most of us are really after the same thing.

We all want a fulfilling life, but being emotionally overdrawn and spiritually bankrupt– we end up convinced that a bad idea is our only way out.

I’m not some fan of the good ol’ days. I never understood that saying, who gives a shit about simpler times?

You need hobbies, side quests, interests… you need these right NOW. Passion- meh, calling, don’t know.

IT’s the interests and little side quests that ironically lead to what you’re looking for.

So instead of staying on route… leave.

#StayFoolish

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Cheap Questions Poor Results…

Published June 9, 2021 by V

“What do you want out of life?

Oh how this question used to haunt me. And if you answered happiness or magical awesomeness… refer back to the title.

Advertising has confused us.

A lot of the ideas we have about “the good life” and what would make us happy are wrong, and they’re not our own.

The best way I’ve ever heard this re-framed is by author Mark Manson, who offered an alternative to the traditional cheap questions.

“What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?”

 Everyone says they want success– either through freedom, entrepreneurship, or financial independence… the answer doesn’t really matter. Most people that say this aren’t willing to LIVE out the sacrifices that come from the building phase.

They don’t want the risk, stress, long nights and early days…. they don’t want the cost, only the reward.

You can’t win if you don’t play.

The problems you enjoy facing are the answer. It’s the bad experiences, the not planned outcomes, the days where you don’t know if you’ll make it– that determines a lot of what is for us.

I used to fantasize about being rich and famous. In this fantasy, I was basically a rockstar… for what? Nothing really, just successful. It sounds stupid, but I went after this for years- full steam ahead.

When this reality never came, because I only loved the end results and not the work itself- I left it cold.

Our struggles determine our successes, so choose wisely.

#FoolMeOnce

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Around the Block & Back…with a New Bike

Published April 17, 2021 by V

What’s up fool,

How goes it?

It’s 3:30 in the morning right now and I can’t sleep because I’m too excited. I want to articulate this message as best as I can, but I’m having a hard time because I don’t fully understand it.

So I guess I’ll think out loud, and hopefully we can both work out the meaning.

For myself, it really started in my senior year of college- this is where I tasted what I wanted my life to be.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was playing with the very fire I was made of: this was passion.

THEN I left.

Yeah, why? Because I was 18, cocky AF, and too full of myself to think the world didn’t bend to my will.

I left it all behind, initially it was to pursue that passion, but I got distracted, and I chased advertising.

You can only “fake it” so much. After a year and a half of “running on E” I returned, but I wasn’t the same. Having failed, in theory, I was accompanied by mania. I guess I didn’t realize that I was angry about what I’d done, or rather didn’t do. I cheated what I set out to do, with trendy ideas of success.

This left me with deep resentment, but as a hard-headed individual, I carried on.

I went through an aggressive trial phase- a sort of self apprenticeship, minus the learning. I spent time going through various “ideas” of what to do with my life- all of them grandiose and having nothing to do with what actually brought me joy.

I chased random “success” and so I never got it.

I did this for years, and in doing it, lost what made me come alive. I hit an all new low, and knew I needed to intervene. After years of sinking, I pulled myself out. I moved, made more bad decisions and hit an even lower low. #Lowrider

At this point, I started to wonder- is my superpower surviving underwater, because no matter how much I drowned- I couldn’t die.

For whatever reason, I never went out peacefully? Oh, I’m depressed? – Then read. Oh, I feel like shit? Then Play. I never stood still, movement became my answer.

This restlessness saved me.

At bottom, I returned again… jeez, how many times can you circle the same block? Idk. But here we go.

This time, it was barely different, but it was different enough.

I needed to write, I needed to understand why, what, and how- so I wrote. I had one rule- SHOW UP and write everyday.

And I did.

This dumb, small, seemingly insignifcant habit, led me to getting a career that suited me, which led me to refinding my passion from my youth, the one I tasted senior year.

It was always here and it was always this, but I kept biking around it, totally missing it.

Finally, after the 100th circle around, I saw it, and stopped there.

You know what you want, but you over-thought it, over-shot it, and overlook it regularly.

But it’s always there, waiting for you to pick it up.

Do what you have to, but don’t every stop moving.

#StayFoolish

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Eyes Wide Open Shut

Published April 14, 2021 by V

Attitude is everything.

With the right mindset you can promote yourself, have any career you want, go and do whatever you want, and be who you actually admire.

Stepping into a playful mindset is all it takes to live a fulfilling life.

And this is somehow the hardest thing for all of us to do.

Why?

It takes letting go.

It’s almost stupid how easy it is. If you decided, for today, you’d let go of all the dumb things that rob you of joy and you just lived in the moment, you’d see exactly what I’m talking about.

Resilience is an attitude. Resourcefulness is an attitude. Success is an attitude.

That’s what they don’t teach us. Everyone is capable, but you won’t reach your goals hating yourself and the world. Drop the edgy and open your eyes.

The only thing you can control is how you show up, but lucky for you, it’s all that matters.

#StayFoolish

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