Tag: #startingover

When I tell you I’ve greatly underestimated the value of true friendship, I don’t just mean fun and excitement.

True friendship tests you. It pushes back on your bullshit, but at the same time– it points you in the right direction.

Everything I did on my own was naturally delusional. My introspection was delusional.

I kept leaving what I was naturally inclined for and choosing random paths that I tried to persuade myself were for me.

Reading my journals– who the hell wrote them? How is it possible that you have the right memories with the wrong endings?

Don’t choose what you like or want, choose what you repeatedly do.

Easily the greatest gift from my brotherhood is this— both of us stopped judging ourselves and got REAL. Stop trying to be something you’re not, and go all the way in on what you naturally do.

You’ll know when you interact with the actual thing– when you’re on the real path. It’ll make you feel more yourself, you’ll be freer. Boredom won’t reach you so easily, and something in you will light up.

You’ll have more energy, excitement, and engagement.

Whatever it is you think you want, entertain the fact that you could be completely wrong. Because what’s better than a life of fun is fulfillment.

The person who must have something, the one that is so desperate to get that thing they’ve given up on every other unrelated aspect of life– they never get it.

But that part time casual, the one who is practical and steadily works towards that aim, they end up achieving it.

Desperation is delusions cousin.

As soon as you need something, all-or-nothing need it, do or die type of desire– contrary to popular guru opinion, you don’t get it.

In fact, your mind makes that thing you so desperately want bigger than what it is, it distorts it, and now you’re further removed from it.

You end up being all weird when you have to take action or approach it, and when faced with opportunity, you’ll self sabotage. We all have this– the only question is where are you weird? Ever notice the areas that come so easily to you, you pretty much don’t care about? I have friends who really value having social circles….

…and then theres me, who literally goes hermit, unplugs, and missing for months.

Some think it’s rude, but you know how artists get— we disappear regularly in the name of creativity.

Point is, it’s me who easily gets the social circles out of all the people I know. Easily. I send text, they say yes, we social-vert.

Never understood what was difficult there.

I get weird with creating.

“Oh, we’re making something?” face gets all itchy, I start thinking grandiose, the playfulness wears off, and now it’s all-or-nothing thinking.

The solution? Apply the same method from the areas of life you’re effortless in– but to your desire. To do this, you have to let go.

You have to make it smaller, not bigger than it is.

You have to see it as just another thing, nothing more or less.

Trust that if it’s true to you— to who you are, you’ll return to it. If not, you’ll find what is. Either way, you’ll find what you were really looking for.

…The problem is your attitude of the problem.” –Cap. Jack Sparrow

If you need the commercial breaks during your movie, you’re doing it wrong.

Ever have those days where everything is clear? You feel good, you only see the positive, and even though it doesn’t last, all you feel is gratitude for the life you have?

I wish I could lock these in, keep them on repeat, and live the rest of my life like this.

These never last long, but during– I can see clearly, I’m optimistic, happy to be alive, and filled with gratitude.

During these commercials, I’m in the best possible mood. If I could stay in that mind, I’d have the exact life I’d always wanted.

All moods are temporary, but somehow this one is the commercial break. My movie is the “Everything is fucked” genre.

But I’m changing that.

Yesterday I saw a commercial that stuck with me. Not a literal Ad, but a brief moment of wisdom coming over you as you drive passed the in-n-out burger.

Boredom is a luxury.

And– you have no real problems.

That voice, the actual voice of reason, common sense— finally spoke loud enough for me to hear and I was instantly lifted into a good mood.

The truth is, you practice suffering all the time. You have no chill. Even with all the journaling, and self-recording, you still didn’t see it.

Your mind just creates problems– straw-men. None of which are real.

You’ve practiced misery so much and being unhappy, that now with all this opportunity, you’re not sure how to handle it. Well I’ll tell you– lighten up.

It is that simple.

Feeling excited about life, and playful towards it is how I want to play this game. So, my focus is a positive, playful, and expansive mindset. Real success is keeping the right frame of mind, that’s what I’ll be doing.

That’s my challenge to you– can you play where you are?

If you don’t have passion, find your interests.

We always skip ahead to what comes after the equals sign, the solution. You need the equation too– otherwise all you did was breeze passed your entire life.

Interest is a lot easier to track.

And can be found via logging your attention. What type of content do you consume? When you’re not vegging on the couch– what do you do in your free time? What do you read about? What section do you naturally roam towards in the bookstore?

Everything is telling, but not everything is important.

Your brain naturally pulls you towards the tools that will develop you most, but this part is instinctive. In other words, we can intellectualize our way out of it and often do– by copying or listening to others.

But the weirdest thing about the brain is that it already has the instructions it needs. The problem is if you overthink it you’ll miss it.

You have to do this casually.

You have to watch and be curious.

What do you obsess about? Don’t force it, explore it.

A couple of bumper-sticker self help books and a half decent online presence, and suddenly our leaderless generation knights a gurus opinion as “knowledge.”

Do yourself a favor– hop of their bathrobe.

We’re living in this weird information- fetishized time, where having someone to deify and follow is considered self improvement.

Here’s a hard truth: That successful person you look up to is an idiot. The same kind of idiot as the rest of us.

Everyone is guessing.

It’s weird to me, and by weird I mean gross, that our youth thinks Billie Eilish is so deep and profound espousing common sense shit, like: Nothing matters, because we’re all gonna die.

Did you not know that til yesterday?

Man, we’re living in an awesome time but at the same time… yikes. They say we’re in the crysis generation, I could see that.

Nothing against Billie, no one has your answers. Replace her with your favorite writer– Stephen King sounds like a politician on twitter. I didn’t follow him for his horror fantasy opinions about the world.

Everyone has an angle, and if you have any micro-success– your opinion is propelled to some validity.

If I was a successful track star but didn’t believe in a round earth– would you listen? Sounds extreme, but that’s what we’re all doing.

You have authors literally telling you not to know yourself– and why? So we can keep following them and buying their dumbass cheap books.

It’s all true.

Friends, our war is a spiritual one.

And guru’s can only stay relevant if you stay conflicted.

But there is some good news and it’s this: You can and should be your own guru.

Only you can figure out yourself and your life. No one told you, but you’re a one-time genetic phenomenon and your biological cocktail will never happen again. So, it’s up to you to discover yourself.

Take the reins of your life and follow you.

You don’t have to lead the free world or invent new rockets, just get to know yourself.

#EveryoneHasaBathrobe

I’m a firm believer of adapting with the times, and a lot of us have dated dreams.

There are so many crazy awesome opportunities out right now, but we stay focused on our narrow ideas of success.

Change is the law.

If you wanted to be in the entertainment industry back in the day, you’d either move to Hollywood or New York and struggle bus your way into it…. or never make it.

You’d work nights so you could go to auditions during the day, try to get an agent, live in a shitty apartment, and hope it doesn’t take 10 years— after that, the market has spoken.

That was the price, and that’s what you had to do.

But imagine doing the same thing today?

Despite all the tools and unique advantages provided by the times?

In general, there are 3 ways to get “inside” the dream life.

The front line, bribing someone, or the back door (this is not my idea, also I’m paraphrasing it).

The problem with the front line is it’s long as shit, everyone goes there, and your odds of being noticed aren’t great. Even if you make it to the door– you’re just another person in line, nothing impressive. Bribing? Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. But do you want to depend on someone being in a good enough mood to help you out?

Then theres the best bet, the backdoor.

This could look like skipping the front, surveying the territory, crawling through a back window to get inside and helping the kitchen staff.

Or for the entertainment industry example, this could look like building an online presence– where your audience doesn’t even really know you because each time you’re showing different sides of yourself (acting). Then having built up a following, that link is shared to old hollyweird.

Idk.

Point is, don’t just go wait in line.

Whatever your dream, use the backdoor.

How familiar are you with your insides?

You know some of your thoughts, but theres an argument to be made for inside you being an entirely different person. For some of us anyway.

To the extent we unify our in-n-out, that is what determines our fulfillment.

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could see the inside, as others see you? If you could step outside of yourself just to get some distance?

Well, here’s a strategy to do that: Video diary series.

I just started doing this, mainly because I don’t want to dress up my words. I’ll never stop writing or journaling, but the problem is– with writing I sometimes still put on a show. Especially since others read this.

You need a place to talk to yourself, thats not in your head.

Your head sucks, and misremembers— which defeats the purpose.

With these recordings, you won’t post them online. They’ll be made by you, for you, recorded and revisited only when you want understanding.

It’s really just thinking out loud.

The on camera part will help you because you’ll be able to go back and see yourself. It’ll give you distance and give you empathy toward that individual. It’s almost like watching a different person, kinda trippy, but liberating.

The reason much of your life is shite, is the seriousness you’ve brought to it.

By being playful with yourself, and developing a new relationship/ communication with yourself– you’ll be free.

Free to live an entirely new life.

So, don’t worry about writing, creating, journaling, or self-proving improvement. Instead, open up that iphone camera, hit record, and say whats up.

They’ve been waiting, and you have everything to gain.

Some of the most enjoyable things in my life are things I never would have chosen. Really, I wouldn’t have even considered them– and that’s what makes anything worth something.

It really isn’t your idea of how things ought to be– that won’t bring you any fulfillment. It oddly ends up being these small moments, that happen incidentally– which usually, you have zero control over them, but they become the priceless experiences.

They add texture to your life. They add color.

Your phone is ringing, but you only hear others pings.

I don’t know why it took me this long to realize this, but the promised land I weirdly obsessed over isn’t something worth pursuing.

Answer the ringing phone in front of you.

Your life is more enjoyable as a result of you embracing it. Maybe a worthwhile exercise is thinking about someone you admire, and how they might approach your entire world– start to finish.

The habit we need to unlearn is daydreaming away our lives.

If you need to sleep on it, sleep. But don’t switch up because someone else has a catchy ringtone.

If you’re adamant on continuing to lie to yourself, at least be more convincing.

You’ve heard the annoying sayings, “everyone has a book in them” or “the next genius is from (insert city)”.

“Not knowing” is by far the worst excuse to not do something.

Potential has never been the issue.

That’s why we have so many dumb self-questions to hype us up– what would you do if you couldn’t fail? #inspirational.

In truth, you’re afraid. No one wants to look stupid, no one wants to lose what they’ve got, no one wants to feel like a fraud.

What they don’t tell you is it’s okay to feel those things, but you have to take action regardless. It’s like playing with a teammate whose hearts not in it– I’m not giving up on the game just because one person would rather be elsewhere.

Every single one of us is pretending, that’s the art of the start. You hype yourself up, decide to do the thing, fail but learn, and then iterate forward.

You used to pretend as a kid, and that’s what got you here. All of a sudden we hit some age and then think– nah, that’s not who I am.

What da..

What a stupid thing to say. You didn’t figure out the world just because you Gandolf-Greyed. You’re a human being, not greek yogurt. Quit expiring yourself and try to relearn.

Act stuck to be stuck. Act on the thing and have the thing.

A phrase I hate the most is “when I get blank I’ll do blank.” You don’t get blank to do blank— and that’s the reason you HAVE BLANK.

Whatever you want– DO it now. In anyway. Example: You want to be an entrepreneur who makes money writing online, has their brand, and works with a few clients. Start writing online, now. Create shitty posts and post them, shitily, on purpose.

Stop thinking people care about your misuse of a comma or word.

No one cares, no one knows better anyway.

Do the thing to have the thing.

MY greatest superpower is my ability to look like an idiot and willingly produce garbage. This is a learned superpower, one that can change everything for you.

So today, be a fool.

Because only Fools create.

Everything sucks… sometimes.

As I’ve gotten disappointed (the adult synonym for older), I’ve come to understand that life is a game of trade.

Like the whole– for every action there is a reaction, it just comes down to what you’ll tit for tat. What you’re willing to trade in return for the thing you want.

Example: You want to be some type of entrepreneur, let’s say it’s the suited up biznus kind, but you hate sales and refuse to make the daily calls.

If your mom didn’t already break it to you, you’re not on your way to #FCKa9-5.

See, in todays opportune but ultra competitive markets, you can’t kinda do something. You’re going to have to semi-enjoy the pain that comes from your dream. This is the necessary competitive advantage to win.

So, for this next year free yourself of that fruitless search for purpose.

Instead, look at the things you wouldn’t mind sucking at, and keep going. Look at the things you find fulfilling, especially during the suck.

What things have you losing track of time?

Besides cry, what did you do as a child?

What types of activities engage you most?

Revisit them. Start with the suck in mind.

What suck do you enjoy? Training? Maybe it’s preparing a speech, conquering the blank page, building robots, idk.

But find your suck, and live a life that doesn’t.

Well, it was actually way simpler than I thought.

Turns out– it had nothing to do with trying to change, more so figuring out what’s important and then leaving what isn’t.

2022 is around the block– what do you want to do differently?

I was really struggling these past months, the old restless thought patterns came back and I had urges of starting over and leaving everything I’ve worked for behind.

This isn’t anything new for me, but this time it felt nearly impossible to combat.

And then yesterday I suddenly got over it.

I realized something, life is a game. If you focus on the shitty negative aspects– you’re sure to lose. I was sitting here taking everything seriously and spiraling downward, all because I was identifying with my negative thoughts (a big no- no).

Feel what you feel, but identify with something better. Something that can pull you out when the storm throws you overboard.

It’s that simple.

You’ll still feel like garbage and have bad day, but if you choose the right thing they won’t last.

That’s key.

It’s not just identity, it’s choice.

I choose to identify with the higher– the better version of me that plays through obstacles and moves on quick.

That said, let’s see how I can remake my entire existence in the span of a year. 2022 will be my craziest, most fun year yet.

Wanna do it with me?

Your ability to see reality clearly is what will determine the amount of success you create. Most people– they can’t see beyond themselves.

That’s what this pandemic has shown all of us.

Massive fear.

From each other, from control, from death.

Everyone is afraid.

And we imagine that our fears are the truth. We imagine the proof we’ve seen is scientific, and our friends and families are delusional conspiracy theorists.

We all forget how “truth” works.

Instead everything becomes binary, in a non-world.

I don’t care what your opinion is, if you give a shit about the truth then you need to keep track of one thing— your mind.

Otherwise known as your fool.

See, we’ve each got one and they’re only smooth and persuasive in our heads. Once you start logging the data (writing) you’ll be able to see them more clearly.

And clarity is what determines if you get better of them or not.

Don’t let be fooled by your fool.

“If you bring forth what is within you– what is within you will save you. IF you don’t, what is within will destroy you.”

Maybe this is messed up, but it takes conflict for me to be clear headed. No idea why, but for whatever reason, when I see others delusional AF and fighting over nonsense– I snap into ruthless practicality.

It’s in these moments, when I should be in turmoil– that all I have is peak wisdom and understanding.

But I got it.

Even if only temporarily, I need this to stay with me.

I’m rich.

I’m rich with opportunity, health, and freedom. I’m rich with life. Yeah, I want a lot more of it– but it’s not a change thing at this point, it’s just scale.

My problem is I haven’t learned to enjoy it as I got it, and that’ll be a focus for this new year.

We have shit attitudes because we see things wrong. Like we’re wearing sunglasses indoors and then wonder why everything’s so dark??

It isn’t– you’re just the weirdo who never looks people in the eyes.

But if I really knew and embraced the fact that I’m dying, we all are, each day– and I kept that close with me, I’d play more often.

“Premeditation of death is premeditation of freedom… He who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave. Knowing how to die frees us from all subjection and constraint.” –Michel De Montaigne

Some of us are looking too far ahead– not into our reality, but fantasy. Forget purpose, pursue goals. Look around you, don’t miss this.

We’re born to a time, use and embrace it.

I’m done being the outcast, I don’t know about you but I’m ready to be a player.

I didn’t know shit back then, and I plan on knowing even less moving forward.

Life doesn’t reward struggle.

Before you ready your comebacks, let me provide you some context.

Ever notice how the harder you try to fall asleep, the zombier you become? Or when you just “have to do something” you usually don’t.

That’s what I mean… the attitude of struggle is a pathetic one.

Do you have to work hard to hit your goals? Probably. But as soon as you do the “I’m so serious” thing and lose the play, it all becomes pointless.

Look, I’m writing this post pretty early– so if this turns into some 2am stoner talk, forgive me.

But the thing that instantly makes me a happier person who is excited about life– is the realization that everything that makes up my world is just perspective (change what you see and change your entire life).

What in the wiring of the human brain makes us think we understand the world?

We all went from filling diapers to khakis and somehow that’s given us all we need to know automatically… because we’ve been around our small familiar block.

You don’t know anything, and that’s the best reminder.

Our attitude is a habit. Our routines, how we approach environments, how we talk to people, sure theres some DNA in there, but for the most part it’s just a habit.

And we don’t think to change it because it’s so close to us.

I’m not telling you to do anything, because theres nothing to do. Just try to forget– if you can let go of your buttoned up, know-it-all approach to the world, you’ll be fluid enough for something new.

You’ll find a whole new life waiting for you.