Tag: self development

If you’re done with this chapter, don’t finish it, just put the book down and go pickup another.

We get stuck because we think there’s some process we’re supposed to follow, that somehow this way of doing the same thing day in and day out will lead to something better.

Maybe that is the case.

Maybe it’s not.

But the new year started and with it, I’m clearing out the old.

If you’re lucky enough to at least know what you DON’T want, start there.

-FOOL

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Do you have something you want right now?

Something you’re after?

For me, I’ve always wanted self employment and I thought it’d hit way harder and be way more fulfilling having it.

But you know what?

I just barely started and all things considered, this entrepreneur thing is basically another job.

Only now, your client is the boss.

(Insert feelings of apathy and detachment).

This is how it goes for me.

When the dream comes true and you wake to it, you’ll find all the things left out of the exciting movie trailer are the boring scenes you have to shoot.

And this is where it’s most important you know how to see. I got what I wanted and here I am, looking for greener grass. For us, the way is forward.

Wherever you’ve gotten wins– whether it be some hobby you don’t care about, a skill you possess, whatever— you need to go all in on that. Double, triple, quadruple, on that.

Where does life invite you to do more? Where do you nearly always win?

Go there, practice seeing what life is showing you and you’ll reach it.

-FOOL

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They say when you’re entering a new field, find someone who’s already accomplished what you’re seeking to do and copy them.

“Don’t reinvent the wheel”

they say.

Thing is, a lot of what goes into finding the way, is making the way.

The people who carve out successful lives did so after they followed their own instincts. The path that’ll work for you is the one that is your own idea.

You have to unplug from the influence of others and follow yourself. You have to figure out what you’re being called to do right now, and where you must go to advance?

You have to hear the call, then answer it.

Success and fulfillment are highly individualistic.

Be an individual to individuate.

-FOOL

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Instead of applying your entertainment prescriptions directly to your eyes, pay attention to what your body is signaling to you.

Words are important, so think about what it means to feel dis-ease.

You’re disconnected.

Either you’re not living your values, you’re worried about something, or you’re not taking action when you know you should be.

Like most problems, it starts inside.

Cure the inside first to solve for the out.

–FOOL

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I always imagined these “wins” a little different, but that was because I never looked at them beyond scoring.

After you score a win, it leaves the work.

Regular, good ole’ “time to deliver on your promises” work…

Don’t get me wrong, those dreams you hold onto are worth it, but building them up into something beyond a repeatable and actionable system isn’t.

Fact is, everything becomes normal, eventually.

Especially your dreams.

If you want something so badly– you signal to your brain that it’s out of your league (figuratively).

Instead, desire it not as a dream, but as a next step and then you’ll have it–because only as a practical next step is it small enough for you to achieve.

-FOOL

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We love them for their values, not their golden retriever innocence.

At some point you might have wondered, why are most of these overpowered protectors of Earth dumb af?

But if the “hero” thought about the returns for saving random strangers… I don’t know that they’d continue to do it.

There is such a thing as being TOO self aware. Like the “suffering artist” archetype. That trope has a lot of truth to it— sit there and reflect and suddenly the motivation to love thy neighbor disappears.

Heroes are like batteries, always on, always going, no reflecting.

They have to be like that.

If you can see reality (and be objective) but still balance a delusional amount of self confidence, you’ll win at whatever the hell you decide to pursue.

That’s the “success” formula books hardly ever teach you.

Confidence isn’t about faking awesomeness or showing P.D.A. (public displays of affection) to your own image…

…it’s about choice.

Choosing to sit in discomfort and being okay with the fact that you could fail, and failure, in the end tally’s to living a full life.

Let’s not think about it. Let’s not worry. Just show up, see what’s there needing your attention and face it.

–FOOL

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Not sure what you’re doing?

There’s really only one good antidote for that…

Get involved, get overly involved.

You get nervous when you start thinking about performance, more specifically, how you’ll fail. Switch that and instead think exclusively how to solve the challenge before you.

You don’t need expertise, you need creativity. Worry murders the minds creative reserves, so don’t bother.

Instead, open yourself to the present.

Make solving the problem your only existence and you will.

If you waste energy and catastrophize, prophesize, then materialize your worries, you add on to whatever thing you’re facing, and that is how you fail.

Failure needs participation, it is impossible to fail without the failures attention and engagement.

Refuse to surrender to it and you won’t fail.

Today, rise.

–FOOL

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Stunts aren’t solutions, and that’s why conmen never hang around after the storys told.

Being bold upfront isn’t hard but sticking around to deal with the aftermath of your promises… try seasoning that on your holiday nerves.

I realized this a couple weeks ago….

I made more money in a very short time for much less work— BUT the reality distorting part about it was nothing changed.

My skill level is the same.

My interests? Same.

The problems I solve? Same.

The only thing that changed was my attitude. I wanted more. I decided to BE more.

You wanna be an author? An entrepreneur? A whatever? Then be. Don’t prepare for it, don’t get ready for it, don’t practice.

Think about how that person lives their day, and live it.

–FOOL

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Wanna know the easiest way to signal your own inferiority to your brain? Act as if something is a big deal by stressing during preparation.

My day-before-the-test routine is always the same— wake up, casually, do everything unrelated to the thing I’m facing (never thinking about it the whole time) and then, the following day, showing up intently, focused.

Whether it was a test for school, a new job that I’d never done, or some exciting project that I over-promised on, this routine remains a constant.

Most of us don’t take new opportunities because we’re afraid of being unprepared…. we’re AFRAID of losing something we don’t even have? Unless you’re in some life or death field, that’s completely mad.

We’re always unprepared, the key is to be okay with figuring it out as you go.

Don’t stop yourself from doing something because you “need more time to get ready to be ready.”

That’s not real.

You don’t need permission to stop being an intern, just decision.

–FOOL

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Limitless was always one of my favorite movies— and that was before I unconsciously aged into that very same raggedy haired writer looking for his next big move.

There isn’t anyone alive who couldn’t benefit from a brain upgrade…

Difference is, that’s what I find myself exclusively pursuing these days.

Is Life a simulation? Idk. But it is a stimulation, and how you train your brain to respond and take in everything will determine how far your character advances.

You don’t have to change anything, and here’s the crazy part, you’d probably fail if you tried.

But if you decided to RESPOND differently, to the very same circumstances you’ve got years of familiarity with, life begins to change before you.

You don’t have to have the same day today, try to live it differently.

See through the lens of someone who possesses the ability to turn every difficulty into a triumph.

How might your life go then?

–FOOL

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Truth is, I always feel great clearing the calendar via last minute text message— announcing my absence from whatever event I’ve decided to ditch.

Obligations are weird.

A lot of us keep the ones that don’t matter and break the ones that do.

Look, I do believe in the importance of keeping your word… but I also believe it’s your life and you don’t owe anyone anything.

That said, how do you want to spend it?

If I don’t wanna be around poor storytellers who use drinking as a multi player virtual reality game– I’m canceling.

Call it flaky, call it rude, call it selfish, call it what you want but don’t call me.

The older you get you realize it’s not your time you’re guarding, it’s your mind.

And I’m minding my business.

What will you make more room for in 2023?

–FOOL

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Ask a kid what they like and don’t like and they’ll effortlessly rattle off their lists, ask a full grown “rational” adult, and sit there while you’re met with an unclear and rather complicated answer.

I asked for your hobbies not the next 10 years of your life.

We’re not meant to move like this.

We’re not meant to over-rationalize, over-think, plan, question, and copy.

This is how we move away from what we’re like and what we like, then you get people doomed to read “get-to-know-yourself” books to makeup for not.

Put down the books and stop contemplating.

Unplug.

With no input, let your body recalibrate and discover, without the influence of anyone else you’ll realign with the things meant for you.

—FOOL

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We can’t control the things that happen to and for us, but the meaning you decide to give those events is what ultimately determines the kind of life you’ll have.

If you think you’re a loser who just can’t figure it out, you’ll serve a longer sentence in limbo…. and some never break out.

But if you decide that this shitty phase is working for your benefit, that this is the part of your story where you’re made and become who you’re meant to— you’ll reconnect with your own uniqueness and you’ll rise.

This is just from changing the story you tell yourself.

You’re not changing reality, you’re not changing circumstances.

By changing the story, by deciding that this means something better, you improve and alter the trajectory of your life.

We’re all magicians in that way and our stories shape our fate.

What do you want it to mean?

What would be a cooler story?

–FOOL

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I’ve been hitting buzzer beaters to close out this year and its got me thinking why’d it take so long to get started?

I wanted to taste my success– so I took a weekend trip and spent that time in and around luxury (well, my kind of luxury).

Out there I realized— nothing changed.

My skill level is the same, I’m the same, the things I enjoy are the same.

The only thing that changed was I learned “how I could.”

I learned where my lever for success was and how to pull it up and down to create the things that I desire.

The difference between your ideal tomorrow and now is what you know.

Now you may not know what to do, and to go there, where your goal is– you’ll have to trust in something bigger.

Risk is part of the process.

Leap, then Learn.

–FOOL

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Pre-new year, I keep this habit of reviewing all my past posts–mostly to fill myself with some sense of gratitude for how far I’ve come.

And yeah, it gives you a quick high of gratefulness…. but on the way down you realize every single post is the same…

If you look beyond the clever titles and disguised complaining, It’s always some variation of, “I’m bored, need to focus, I want fun, responsibility sucks.”

Even now, I’m starting an entirely different chapter–my life has been changed for the better–dramatically, but I know my themes will be colored EXACTLY the same, because I am who I am.

For some of you that might be depressing, but actually it’s the reason you should be enthused.

Think about what it means.

If we stay who we are in pretty much any environment, you can bet on acting a specific way.

You can make plans off unchanging variables.

That moody little bitch inside me who always thwarts my long term plans, he’ll always be there, so how do I put him to work in a way that advances my goals?

If you’re always putting others ahead, where would that be rewarded? Do you suck at being alone? There’s a corresponding strength to every weakness, find it and use it.

You’re always taking your inner kid to everything you do, we don’t change.

We’re just children playing dress up, don’t confuse your wardrobe for your destiny.

–FOOL

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Where you get obvious returns in life is what you should pursue. Problem is, most of us don’t see it— or at least haven’t seen it clearly enough.

So you spend all this time looking to catch a glimpse of something that could give you a clear enough answer to at least settle your restlessness and stop you from searching.

Writing pulled me out of mediocrity.

I went from broke 20-something to decent income, to good income, to good life.

Let me be ultra clear, I NEVER would have chose this as my path.

In fact, had I not stumbled into this and done it as casually as I did, I wouldn’t be here right now.

If you want a different 2023, one with more success, track where you win.

Where do you get returns? Which doors always open for you?

Everyone has this, find your house and win.

—FOOL

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The greatest lesson I’ve learned, and by greatest, I mean will have the most meaningful impact on my life is, fun and fulfillment have nothing to do with one another.

Since my birth, all I could ever think about was what I wanted.

How, I’d love the life of appearances. I liked how it looked to be a star, actor, rich, famous, some public figure who has millions of dollars and does whatever the fuck they want.

That was the only “goal” I ever thought about.

When I first stepped into that character, in my senior year of high school, it was such a level of fun, I thought I had it all figured out.

And so pursued it– til multiple failures had me running back.

I couldn’t let it go.

Even after leaving so many times, the idea returned that this is what I’m meant for.

But, in temporarily “pausing it”, for the sake of making money and paying bills, I became a writer.

I scored a client, then a job, now a career.

All that time that went into the wrong focus— the idea of being “a somebody”, rather than having a skill and solving a problem….

After working at my first real job, I got that “dream.”

Well, tasted it. I directed video, was the star of many, voice acted, wrote scripts, the whole shebang.

It was fun— but after awhile, I felt empty.

AND THIS SET ME FREE.

I realized this was only ever a FUN idea, but it could never be a career or skill you pursued.

Who I am is what I do.

It’s true for you too.

In my free time, I didn’t do any of those “fun” ideas and that should have been proof enough that it wasn’t a real interest.

Instead, I was learning about human behavior, psychology, all marketing related things. But didn’t think to work towards that.

If you want a good life, forget the fun and focus on the here and now.

Freedom is in being who you truly are. Not who you present or pretend.

–FOOL

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Theres 2 main schools of thought for balancing work/life as you search for your dream life—

some people say you should be a “C” student.

That means going to work, doing the bare minimum, clock in then out so that you can go home and use the extra time to build and work on your own dreams.

The other group takes the opposite position.

They say you need to get into the habit of giving everything your all.

You’d LEAN in, embrace all the opportunities, become the go-to go-getter, and apply this principle in and outside of work.

I like the bare minimum answer in theory, but for most people that is exactly why they don’t get anywhere.

Truth is, your RETURNS are equal to your Efforts (mostly).

Give something your all and the returns you get are unimaginable compared to just showing up and being a background character.

By choosing to do it all FULLY, you create opportunities and experiences that would otherwise never be possible.

What the hell are you saving yourself for anyway?

You’ve got a life to live.

–FOOL

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You want a spoon full of opportunities but face a fork in the road?

Lost, unsure of yourself, don’t know where to go?

Apply this advice only if you’re kind of a phuckup and need help course correcting your life:

Break your patterns.

Most of us are stuck in the same spot because we run the same program.

You, being who you are, always do what you’re doing now.

If I normally would back out of a certain type of scenario (and that’s the reason I don’t get ahead), my only job is to show up. If, normally I’d disappear— I don’t.

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Try the opposite.

Do the different thing to get the different result.

If you can’t trust your instincts, you need to recalibrate them and the only way to do that is to reset the system.

Break out of your patters and you’ll break free from your obstacles.

–FOOL

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Can you change your character? I don’t know, but a better question might be— should you even try?

When we consider and make plans from what we KNOW to be true about ourselves, we’re far more likely to see immediate success.

Example:

I have periods of artist melancholy bullshit, where I need to be alone for a few days after too much socializing, to process all of my experiencing.

I could pretend that’s not real.

I can decide to take a job that’s 24/7 battlefront shit and hope to power past my introspecting under a blanket.

Maybe that trait will disappear or maybe it’ll win and that role would have been a waste of time.

We win long term working with our character, not trying to change the unchangeable.

Accept who you are and make plans around it.

It’s not only easier, it’s more fulfilling and success-friendly.

—FOOL

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