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Tag: #startingover

Speaking (of) Into Existence?

Published September 2, 2021 by V

It’s a thing.

I don’t think you can literally tongue magic millions of dollars before you just be chanting a phrase, but it looks like there is something to saying your goals out loud.

A strange lil’ trick for behavior change in psychology is leveraging social contracts. We tend to not want to be hypocrites– so when we repeatedly tell others we’re going to do something, we increase our likelihoods of doing it.

A lot of us already know this, maybe even do it, but I’m more interested in what it does to the social contract you have with yourself.

My writing career is a chicken-egg scenario, not sure which came first. Was I interested or did I become interested after proclaiming I was going to do it?

Either way, I ended up doing it and now won’t change.

I said I was after mastery so many times, that now something in my brain sets off an alarm anytime I engage with activities that move me away from it, even if it’s slight… and I immediately return.

I’ve built my identity around the things I do.

In a way, you’re not just proclaiming what you want to happen– you’re announcing who you’re going to become.

You’re telling the world this is my character and when you do that, it’s near impossible to go back on your word.

Sound strange?

Performance coaches use this same technique to create lasting change. Attacking behavior is temporary, but identity… that’s what lasts– that’s what will have you maintain when no one’s looking.

And that’s what matters.

Where do you want change?

Health, finance, a new career?

Speak it into existence. Make it your identity. First, get clear on who the type of person that has the thing you want is? If it’s health, maybe that’s the type of person who enjoys being active and eating in moderation. Money? This could be the type of person who enjoys tracking and growing their finances.

It’s not about the thing itself, it’s what creates the thing.

Before I became a copywriter, the question was what exactly do they do? I became that, by doing it…. and I only started doing it after I told anyone who would listen, this is what I’m after.

Sure enough, that’s what I got.

Hurtin’ for change? Start chanting my friends, because it looks like for each and every one of us– our word becomes our bond.

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What’s Your Story?

Published September 1, 2021 by V

In general, we’re all skilled at explaining.

I guess, it’s just a lot of repetition. And it doesn’t seem to even matter what we come up with, so long as we have a reason.

This isn’t only true for what we tell others, but also what we tell ourselves.

Not nearly talked about as much as it should be, the story we tell ourselves (our self explanations and definitions) determines most of our experiences.

I’m the type of person that ( fill in the blank ).

What comes to mind with that statement? What are some of the first things that pop up? Don’t judge them, record them. Observe.

Your answers to that question are apart of your story. The answers you like, you should develop even more… and those you don’t, delete.

We try to control things we have no say over, but for the things we could easily change at any moment– we never touch.

Why do you think movies and books are so powerful (excluding the shit ones) ?

We’re wired for story, we evolve through story, it’s not only our explanations for life but our direction and guide.

Every single one of us is a meaning making machine.

You need to take ownership if you want something more than a coincidental life. You’ll need to redefine a lot of yourself and your myth.

This isn’t hard to do, but it’s hard to live by.

Even the people who love change will meet resistance, the brain fears what it doesn’t know. That, and deep down, we all love who we are. Before you protest, “not me” understand that every single one of us has changed in an instant when forced to.

But somehow when it’s optional, meh– you pick your current self.

So decide, what’s your story?

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You Are Here, so Be Here.

Published August 31, 2021 by V

I’m two months shy of one year– that’s the length of time for me to finally embrace BEing present. I used to gag every time I heard a successful person give advice like, “whatever your present role, do it all the way.”

..and without making myself throw up here, I’ll tell you it did change everything.

That’s right. You have to be a fool to be a master, and I was a real fool.

A lot of us play side characters in our own movies. Some just go through the motions, blend into the backgrounds, they’re too afraid to take risks or stand out.

Somehow, they’ve forgotten it’s their movie. Each of us stars as the main character in our own play– and I refuse to be cautious and careful in mine.

My goals have definitely shifted since leaning into life. I went from needing a purpose, to writing my own. From looking for passion, to committing to skill.

I left “ideally” and became practical.

It doesn’t matter where you are, that was the realization I desperately needed. It matters who you are, and that’s a choice. You can play the game however you like– you can be so much more than you are.

Taking this serious is pathetic. It’s a waste of life.

Sometimes I fall back into it, but at least now I catch myself and quickly pull out.

Wherever you are, BE there. Be present.

Stop day-and-night dreaming away your life. That’s the real reason we suffer, that’s why a lot of people are miserable.

They hate their roles, in their movies… and they forgot they could rewrite all of it.

Imagine being able to write your own script, but choosing to play as an extra?!!

You need to let go of all of that.

I’m not saying don’t go after goals, far from it. I’m saying upgrade that character first. Become the person, who lives that life you crave and you will naturally achieve it.

So, who is that person?

How do they think, act, and feel? How do they approach life, what do they believe?

Start there— and bring this into the world.

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No Lane Switching…

Published August 30, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

This one will be quick.

I want you to know that despite my commitment to change, there are things I understand can’t be… and for that– we should channel.

To different extents, we all crave connection, stimulation, and something bigger than ourselves. I’m convinced that the cause behind most tomfoolery is boredom.

You can’t change your need for certain desires.

When we’re dissatisfied, we f**k around, and that almost always ends the same… poorly.

The dynamic that ends up being created is this: We look forward to our weekends for “rest” (hang out with friends, brain numb with television, and restart the process).

I never wanted that. It’s not that I’m not grateful for what I have, I am. But real fulfillment comes from total submission to something greater– a skill.

With that said, I’ve decided to narrow my lane.

To ultra narrow it.

Now, it’s very specific.

My challenge to you is the same. Do you want fulfillment? A calmer, more patient mind? Greater creative powers?

Pursue only one skill.

Make it related to what you already have, or are on course to developing.

This will end up creating the rest your life.

There’s no lane switching on the road to mastery.

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Time Punishes Stagnation

Published August 29, 2021 by V

Here, make this promise and never break it: I will always stay moving forward.

I don’t know if it’s how we’re raised, but a lot of us fear the wrong things.

Maybe it’s our upbringing that teaches us to dread making a mistake, so we gradually become cautious.

But over-thinking eats up your years.

The easiest way to waste life is to do nothing. Overall, I am a person without regrets– and to be fair, that’s easy to do when you’re still young. That said, if I were to change anything going back, I’d have acted even faster and with even less thinking.

Time punishes stagnation.

When we’re not moving, life moves right past us and the exact thing we fear happens– we miss out.

We miss out on experiences, potentially fulfilling relationships, and the spice of life itself: FORWARD movement.

Rather than focus on developing our stories, we wonder about stupid things that aren’t our business (is this role right for me? Should I move? Is this person the one? etc.).

The funny thing about change is it comes from tiny, seemingly insignificant actions. When I’ve forced all or nothing changes, such as moving to a new state without any plan or safety net– things changed, but not as much as I thought they would.

When I enacted small, routine changes– like writing and posting daily, and switching to muay thai instead of morning weight lifting, then my life changed in every imaginable way.

It’s bizarre, but it works better smaller.

The reason we waste time is we make decisions bigger than they need to be, we magnify the unimportant and dismiss the action steps.

It’s so much simpler than you think.

What tiny thing can you start today?

And start.

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Always Racing No Where

Published August 28, 2021 by V

Do you know what you’re looking for?

…And how can you be sure?

You know you want change, but you haven’t stopped and taken a moment to define what it might look like… and this is where we open the door to suffering.

Right now, there’s tons of opportunity. It’s everywhere, but it’s hard to grasp when you’re racing all over the place.

The reason you feel restless when you’re alone is because you know you’re capable of so much more– so that anxiety isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s actually there to serve as a compass.

But we have to stop.

One thing I’ve learned is running is a habit… if you keep running from thing to thing, you stay in a perpetual state of motion.

Normally, I’d say that’s a great thing– but you need to be able to stop in order to create and the life you want is created.

I think our solution to stress is decompression.

We try to “recover” by forgetting. Sometimes that’s playing video games, watching a movie, hanging out with friends, none of which is a bad thing.

But all too often this becomes our only way of coping… and we never stop running around.

Eventually, you have to commit. You have to go all in on the path before you, this is how progress is made– and it’s also how to create the actual change you’re looking for.

Things become different, when we do.

When I started approaching my role more open and playfully, not only did my skill level develop, but I started gaining more opportunities. The very same role, turned into something better… just by being better.

That’s really the only point of this post: If you want change, start where you are.

Believe me, I don’t love the answer either. But take it from someone who always jumped thing to thing– it’s imaginary. Your escapist thoughts of one day leaving and journeying to an entirely new place aren’t real. What actually happens is you erase all your progress, start over, and now are unhappy… in a different place.

Real change happens in the moment.

So, your challenge is before you. Will you blend into the background of your own life and waste what you have or will you shine and play through it?

It’s your movie, you decide.

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Skywalking With Your Inner Jedi: Manifest Destiny

Published August 27, 2021 by V

Human beings are creators.

Locked within each of us is an indomitable spirit, something that can’t be conquered nor controlled, something that evolves through chaos and rises stronger each time from adversity.

But a lot of us will never know this… it just stays dormant.

And this really made me wonder, why do some individuals reach their ideal/potential while others never even get close to making contact?

Each of us has this inner force, and our lives are fulfilled to the extent that we obey it. You can think of it as a soul, personality, your DNA, it really doesn’t matter. But know that this force is very real, it’s your uniqueness trying to incarnate– trying to express itself outwardly.

It’s what makes you an individual.

Most err suppressing it, or by judging it they try and fail to change it.

We can shape a lot about ourselves– our attitudes, our bodies, our minds… but this is something we’re born to, it’s untouchable. It’s bigger than us.

It’s also deeply fulfilling to get close to, and the irony is the harder you look for it the more likely you are to miss it.

In fact, better you don’t. Rather, look at what you’re drawn to.

What is pulling you, and why?

Trying to find the force led me down paths of envy. I wanted externals– random things I measured as success.

Yes, I still want those things. But your force naturally picks tools that will help take you where you need to go.

One of these “signals” for me is this book I constantly re-read and can’t stop re-visiting. It’s worth noting, I’ve never been a reader in my life, and since I’m so hyperactive, it’s actually strange that I can even sit there and read something (considered by others) to be long and dry.

But since finding it, I was deeply hooked.

This book works for me, because it is me. The things you are drawn to, they’re reflections of you. Stick to them, honor them, they are the keys to you making it.

Individuality is a lot simpler than we make it out to be.

Watch yourself, keep a journal and record the things you read, looked at, enjoyed doing. A pattern will emerge– and you need to stay in that very lane.

What you’re doing is walking with destiny, life will reward you for it.

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Don’t do what you love… Love what you do

Published August 26, 2021 by V

When is the last time you genuinely enjoyed yourself?

I used to cheat my own life, imagining some distant call to adventure– some fantasy, where a series of unlikely events would scoop me from this reality and throw me into action.

I was always bored, and I thought this was some deep truth of mine. I thought that somehow my internal dissatisfaction came from my connection to a higher calling, my fate, LOL.

Now I can laugh at that.

Never did it occur to me, that I was bored because I didn’t focus on the present or that rather than deep dive into all the things I had going for me, I kept mentally toying with bullshit.

My misery wasn’t a result of my station in life, rather it was a practice I’d unknowingly developed.

Fact is, I wasn’t happy with my life because I wasn’t practicing happiness.

It’s never life, it’s not where you are– it’s just how you decide to approach it all.

I say this like it didn’t take me years to discover, when in reality it did. When you can finally dedicate yourself to enjoying your life, it all starts to feel like pure ecstasy, it starts to feel like your own movie– which it is.

So I started this experiment– sort of a reframe that I could use in every situation. At first it was casual, but I’m getting better at it and having directly felt the positive results, I’m doing it more often.

Anytime I was about to do something, especially if I hated it or didn’t want to do it, rather than disengage and fantasize– I leaned in.

I brought the play.

I’d ask questions, try to get inside the world as deep as possible, connect to each and every individual and of course, I joked around and took everything lightly.

And the result? Pure awesomeness.

Meetings that would have otherwise went nowhere turned into fun group collaborations. People I’d otherwise judge and write off, ended up actually being cool and fun to work with.

By bringing the play, I gained an unusual superpower. Firstly, my life instantly became awesome. I no longer fantasized because I was really enjoying myself in the moment, but by bringing this attitude people responded differently to me.

Everyone connected, not just me. By opening up to them, they opened up to me. I don’t mean sharing your deep secrets, just being engaged and genuinely listening.

Most people fade into the background of their own lives, and this happens because they’re too busy hating all of it. That’s the secret.

Make yourself in awe of every moment, bring the play– joke around, be light, shine. This is your movie, and by doing this, I promise you it will be the most enriching experience you’ll ever have.

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Don’t Abandon Ship: When to see things through

Published August 25, 2021 by V

I don’t know if this advice is mainstream-guru approved, but normally I don’t give a shit to see things through– and I’m not talking about my own goals.

I’m talking about giving it your all in your current role… which, I never did.

This attitude has helped me stay fluid, move about freely and explore– and eventually led to me finding the right role. It also nearly caused me to leave the right role, because the habit of abandoning ship was over-developed.

I never understood this.

Why give it your all in a place that doesn’t give you its all?

And the answer eventually came to me…

…We’re all in a game of momentum. Objects in motion, stay in motion and if you’re always engaged and moving, you’ll eventually progress into something better but the opposite holds true too.

Keep jumping around, and you’ll have nothing to show for it.

In my role as a writer, I was eventually given the opportunity to direct. This came from me over-involving myself in the entire project, and taking a hands on approach.

I’ve since learned something about freedom– it isn’t what you imagine. That fantasy in your mind of all those things you’ll do when you quit all the things you hate, it isn’t real. I’ve left jobs so swiftly in the past and can tell you, unless you’re being abused or bullied by your 9-5, freedom doesn’t come from leaving.

It comes from submitting.

That is the irony.

Those that constantly abandon ship end up in a perpetual state of starting. They then have to find a new ship to board, and thanks to their unconscious philosophy, without fail they’ll jump ship and repeat the entire process over and over again.

By fully engaging in what’s in front of you, you’ll not only level up– you’ll turn your current role into a fulfilling promotion.

Because it’s not the job you’re committing to or the ship, it’s yourself.

-Fool Forward

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Get Moving

Published August 24, 2021 by V

Reaching your goals isn’t all that hard once you get started, and yeah, that’s an oversimplification.

Maybe you want to go to space and be the first person to live on mars… in which case, you’ve got bigger problems.

But for most of us, our goals aren’t anything out-of-this-world.

Assuming you’re looking for passion, wealth, and financial freedom– the task before you is one of overcoming inertia. The thing that consumes most of our years, causes us to waste life, and eats away at our confidence is lack of movement.

Doing nothing.

Not starting.

Movement is life.

It’s through movement we gain momentum, which brings about direction, then confidence and then the casual development of a better life.

So many people are afraid of making the wrong choice or moving in the wrong direction, but that doesn’t exist. There is no wrong movement, only not moving.

You should be terrified of hesitating, standing still, debating, all these things envelop you in smoke and cause you to lose touch with reality.

Our values and actions lead to our personal fulfillment– living out who we are despite it being hard is how you become what you’re supposed to become.

Whatever ideas you’ve got, you don’t have to commit immediately– experiment, play, 30-day-trial all your potential dreams.

Just keep moving.

Momentum will takes you across the finish line.

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Why Do We Lose Perspective?

Published August 23, 2021 by V

Comparison isn’t just the thief of joy, it’s the thief of sight.

As soon as you start thinking about what you want and don’t have– you undermine your own progress and give it up for more desire.

But you should want more– that’s how you pursue and reach your potential.

So, the question is how do we keep perspective while striving towards the ideal? Since your brain is wired to compare, all you have to do is shift its direction.

Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

This simple reframe will give you what you need to keep going. Rather than looking at others, when I compare current me to last years version… they might as well be different people.

Not so surprisingly, saying that fills me with gratitude.

You want to get better? Here’s an awesome and helpful realization, personal growth doesn’t come through addition, but rather subtraction.

It’s not about what COULD YOU DO, it’s about WHAT SHOULDN’T YOU DO.

Don’t do things you don’t admire/ value/ like.

The inner conflict you struggle with evaporates as soon as you honor your own values.

Don’t like watching TV and wasting time? Don’t do it anymore. Don’t do it, despite how hard it feels when you’re wiped out and just crave recovery– find a better substitute.

Transformation isn’t all or nothing, it’s compounding.

It’s a day to day, monthly battle.

From now on, I’m committing to the journey and the discovery of pushing my limits. I want to see just who I can become when I embrace and incorporate challenges into my life. This used to mean risk, but now it means doing the task before me FULLY.

Wanna evolve? What can you stop doing that you hate?

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Serious Role Playing: Everyone’s a method actor

Published August 22, 2021 by V

I’ve never had imposter syndrome but a lot of my friends do. My struggle was more turning off the entitlement that keeps telling me I’m above whatever task is before me.

That said, whether you sit on the overly-confident or cautious side the answer is the same: We’re all pretending, so it doesn’t matter.

No one knows what the hell they’re doing.

Part of growing up is realizing your parents were faking it the whole time… they never had all the answers. The same can be said for teachers, mentors, coaches, whoever– the point is, we somehow hit the age of 30 and imagine we have life figured out and know everything there is to know.

You? Just last week you had a mid-life crisis and this week you’re a spiritual guru.

Where we err is we take our roles overly serious and inevitably lose the play and fluidity that comes from not knowing and being okay with not knowing.

Instead of playing with questions, you protest answers.

We lose our inner child– obeying our scripts.

The weird part behind it all is how good we are at misidentifying who we are and what we’ve practiced.

You’re not who you think you are.

You’re not a serious person… you could simply let go. If you wanted to, you could change the genre of your movie today, and lighten up.

We see it as fake if you try to change your attitude– how pathetic. Human beings were born to evolve, and that’s what you’d be doing practicing this.

If you’re unhappy, reject your current role. You’re free to start over at any given time– a hugely undervalued human trait.

The ability to start over.

Let go.

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Brain Storm: How my mind pulls me away from the shore

Published August 21, 2021 by V

We all have our battles but we’re never taught how to identify them. It’s assumed we know what stops us, what we’re fighting and will continue to fight, it’s assumed we can see the actual problem.

But I don’t think we can.

The way we’re wired, our brains, like a Machiavellian magician, cloak our recurring inner conflicts.

We think our struggles are something else, we think the problem is circumstantial or maybe it’s just environmental or relational.

But your saboteur isn’t fate, it’s the captain of your ship…

For a long time I suffered from my own imagination, and I really suffered. To be fair, my inner magician was skilled– and delusion was disguised as fate and destiny.

This resulted with an arrogant child who believed he was born to some grandiose purpose– which resulted in me taking everything far too seriously. I believed I was above everyday life and all the duties that came with it.

And then followed the consequences of this thinking: The Gap.

The gap between what I saw and actual reality grew, and I became more deeply entrenched in my own mind. Now the storms pulled me farther into sea, and I couldn’t see the shore.

To the outsiders, this would look like strange discontent inside an individual. They’re never present, they have a distracted look in their eyes, they’re not there… they’re not with you.

It’s hard to describe, but it’s like something in your brain fogs your own vision and for the life you– you can’t get clear on what you have, where you are, and how to move forward.

It took years for me to get clear.

I was unemployed for years, skill-less for years, and self-isolating.

All as a result of believing there must be something to this feeling. I didn’t even know it was a storm, that’s the greatest trick the magician pulls– he makes you believe him.

I made my life, I got out of the sea, only when I realized I’m a shitty captain. When I stopped listening to my north star and started charting a course to shore– I got out.

What this means is this, after being tired of being depressed, delusional, and isolated– I purposely got practical. I distrusted my mind, got outside help and got better of it.

My brain still has the very same climate it always had, but I am a far better sailor.

You can’t stop the storm, but you can sail our quicker.

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Discovering my story…

Published August 20, 2021 by V

Once you have an idea of what you want, it can be hard to open yourself up to other avenues of success. 

To combat this, I keep my desired end in mind. 

For me, the goal itself is not necessarily the goal, rather the reason behind it. This helps me keep perspective should I need to adapt, it keeps me fluid and loose, and in this way I’m always ready for change. 

How does this all look? 

For starters, don’t pretend you know what the end must be. 

I think the real mistake is we’re constantly being bombarded “to know” how we’re going to spend the rest of our lives, but the question this props up for me is what book has recurring chapters and why should life be any different?  

In my current role, rather than enjoy each part of the learning process I instead, and instantly, began plotting how I’ll pivot and obsessively kept asking myself what’s next? 

Suffering through premature optimization. 

Yet again. 

I don’t think “What’s Next?” matters as much as “Right Now.” I’m learning to focus on enjoying my own discovery, enjoying the unfolding of my own story– rather than constantly wishing for more. 

The irony is, by doing this– you’ll naturally end up where it is you really want to go. 

In truth, everything I have in front of me is more than enough to live an awesome life, I have an awesome life. For the few and short lived moments I’m able to think clearly, I always land on this realization. 

Sure, you want more… but you’re lucky to be able to play this game. 

Play is the key word here. 

For the past few days, I’ve been able to manufacture wisdom through keeping the end of my book in mind– the same ending as for your book and all of us, death. 

Endings are what make us appreciate stories and nothing clears up the mind like knowing and feeling the end. 

I’m done suffering over fantasy. 

I couldn’t care less, the only thing that exists is the story I’m in right now. 

#Foolforward

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What Guides You?

Published August 19, 2021 by V

How do you make a choice when you’re faced with picking between two things you may really like– but can only have one? Do you default to the thing that’s more fun, or what you’re curious to learn?

They’re not always the same.

Some of the activities I deeply enjoy, I have no curiosity to learn. In my work, I really enjoy directing– it’s creative, active, fast paced, and all around a highly engaging task.

That said, I don’t study or practice the skill and I’m not interested in learning more about it. It’s hobby level– love doing it, but can’t see myself going all in on it (mainly because there are major aspects to it that don’t suit my character– compromising with others).

It’s okay to have hobbies.

Not everything has to be a career, or something you go all in on. We’re allowed to have different things in our lives, and this is a lesson I took from my Muay Thai gym.

There are many different types of martial artists, but you can categorize all of them into the following groups: Specialists and Generalists.

Specialists prefer mastering one style, for years and years.

Generalists mix and match, and most likely take the kitchen sink approach.

There isn’t a right or wrong way, it just comes down to what you’re like. They say fighting is the ultimate self expression of the body, so you should choose based on what you value.

Do you have a curiosity for all?

Your work, career, and life is the same.

When it comes to things you want to do and learn– are you a generalist or specialist? Too many entrepreneurs take different stances on this, as if there is a right answer.

There isn’t.

No one can tell you how to do this– it’s simply you expressing yourself.

For me, It’s the specialist route. I can’t stand learning totally different styles, before having mastered one. The same goes for my work, my skills, and career.

I enjoy mastery, I enjoy going deep, not wide.

That’s me.

Whatever you do, let your values guide you.

#Foolon

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Win Before Winning

Published August 18, 2021 by V

You’ve probably heard this corny law of attraction-y advice: Step into it.

Well, regardless of what you worship (the stars, tarot cards, religion, or your badge of lazy atheism) this will only help you.

I didn’t understand this, at least, not fully.

What the hell does it mean to step into success, before seeing/experiencing it?

Try this exercise: think of all the times in your life where you were at your best, the times you were on top, won, felt most alive. How did you feel? How did you act? How did you approach the world?

How is winner-you different from this you? I believe we are who we are when we’re at our best, and our day-to-day defaults are our lowest, socialized, programmed selves.

A strange cheat code to the human experience is learning you can manufacture winning at any time, and by doing so, you create the very same dynamic.

Only now, you don’t depend on external circumstances.

You can and need to– step into winning you.

It sounds stupid, and it’ll make you feel like an imposter at first. But you’re not faking it, rather you’re showing faith by embracing the world– regardless of what life serves you with.

I think this is the greatest achievement we can have. To own every single experience we have and to fully embrace it, that’s true power.

And if that wasn’t enough, doing this will lead to an awesome life.

You’ll play the game without holding back. You’ll play with the fearlessness needed to win, and you’ll win.

Try it.

Win before winning.

–Fool

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No More Normal

Published August 17, 2021 by V

There’s no happiness to be had engaging in things you don’t value.

I’ve thought about it, tried it, deeply engaged with it– and I can tell you that if you don’t care about the thing you won’t suddenly change in the future.

I never wanted a normal and balanced life, but I did suddenly reach a point where because I was unhappy for many years, I tried doing the “normal” things.

I experimented and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy I did.

But, now I know not to even bother with those things because I always feel shitty engaging with them.

Here’s what I mean: If you value eating clean, you’ll feel shitty every time you don’t. If you value being active, you’ll feel unhappy lounging around.

The point is: LIVE your values.

I know, I know.

I’ve preached that so much and even myself, I’ve broken the rules more than enough times. I guess I just had to be certain, and now I am.

I DON’T value normal.

I never did.

At first, I looked back and saw that as a waste of life. I thought maybe I was cheating myself by not at least trying those things, so I did.

But now I can tell you, those things aren’t how I want to spend my time.

Find your own code, and never ease off it.

Learn what makes you feel great and what doesn’t– and ruthlessly follow it.

STOP aiming to change yourself, change your environment instead.

I never wanted normal.

I want success, ambition, building, being active, disciplined… I want a life of mastery.

That’s where you’ll find me.

-Luka

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Priority Mapping: Learn How To Choose Wisely

Published August 15, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

Making the “right” choice can be hard, especially when you’re caught between things you love.

For example, with my muay thai training I really loved my first gym– but I prioritize skills, so I left to join a smaller but far more traditional facility. Upon joining, I instantly started to improve through the more personalized and expert training.

Instead of which do I love, the question became, “where will I learn the most?”

And this has already been a far better decision.

Looking at my life, everything improved when I prioritized my values. Every single time I made a decision solely off of emotions of desires, things turned out shitty.

Ruthless practicality has been my greatest tool for advancement.

We often struggle to make choices not because we don’t know what we want, but we don’t know what we value most and your values equal fulfillment.

Once you realize what your true values are and what enriches your life– all decisions become easy.

I value learning, improvement, mastery– and since I know these are top values for me, I choose this path over the path of variety.

The game we’re all playing is one of personal discovery.

You’re taking your character and trying to build an environment where you increase your chances of success.

We all dropped into this world as already-somethings. We didn’t create our uniqueness, we didn’t instill our core values, and yet we imagine we copy others?

Success comes through authenticity, so before making a decision– get clear on your values and choose wisely.

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Chicken or the Egg? It starts with you…

Published August 14, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

To be completely honest, these posts are becoming increasingly difficult and the reason is– my life is great.

I finally enjoy every bit of what I do, and while a lot of it suits me well the enjoyment came after I incorporated it into my approach.

In my current role, I was given the opportunity to direct videos– which I’ve always felt was the only career for me. Writing scripts and directing them is genuine play, it doesn’t ever feel like work and I’d do it for free all the time.

BUT even this… on an off day isn’t so fun.

A shit attitude, and I might have thrown it away. I mean, I knew years ago that I enjoyed this so why is it that I’m only leaning in now?

That’s the point I want to make.

It all starts with you.

What you want, what you think you want– that doesn’t matter as much as how you approach the game.

If you bring the enjoyment going into something, you’ll get enjoyment back. Input equals output every single time.

This is how I began tricking myself, but the trick also changed my experiences. Suddenly my work became way more fun– even the parts I normally hated, and not so surprisingly, my opportunities grew.

If you want to expand- whether it be a new career, friend group or gain a more adventurous life, you have to become expansive.

You can change everything without DOING anything and do so just through altering your own attitude towards the game.

You are where you are.

You might not like it, and this doesn’t mean you have to stay there– after all, everything in life is temporary.

But if you lean in and bring the play to all you do, there is no way not to gain the fulfillment you’re looking for.

#Giveitatry

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My 1 Thing: Playing The Great Game

Published August 13, 2021 by V

You can’t ‘pick’ what you love, It’s not an intellectual decision.

Here’s the cause of most of our suffering: We want to want. And that has always been my problem– I had all the ideas of what I should do, might enjoy, or get rich off of and I tried to arrange marry myself to each of them, but none of it ever lasted.

It won’t last unless you legitimately love it, which isn’t the things you want to want but the things you can’t not do, or read, or engage with, etc.

And that said, I finally have a goal that’s authentic to who I am, excites me, and it’s my ONLY focus until I accomplish it.

I’m playing the great game.

Let’s start with how the game is defined, the rules, and the objectives.

I define the game as a largely story world, where the main character (you), figures out how to shape their reality and maximize it for their destiny. The main character has to shed skins continually to get to the root of their superpowers, and live from a place of authenticity.

Their lives then reflect who they are, and they become fulfilled by living out their own uniqueness.

So, I want my entire life– from career, hobbies, and interests, to friends and relationships, to reflect who I am as a person.

The career path I’m building out is one that combines not only my interests, but my temperament and my values.

My friends share my core values.

My hobbies and interests are just extensions of who I am.

Right now, I’m playing.

I’ve left the exploratory phase, and now I am just another player– figuring out their own movie.

It’s awesome.

Before a purposeless angsty kid, to now a self-directed and focused individual.

Every single one of you can do this, but you have to realize who you are playing for. There’s only one game to be played, and like it or not– you’re already playing.

Having fun?

If not, you need to change it up because you’re doing it wrong.

#GOallIN

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