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Tag: Self-improvement

Un-stucking yourself? Any Direction will do…

Published September 19, 2021 by V

Behold a little fortune cookie quote from probably a bumper sticker:

“Movement cures all.”

I’ve noticed this concept applies to every aspect of my life, and will save you potentially thousands from would-be self help goo-roo books.

First, let’s understand the problem.

Why do we get stuck?

Here’s a solid explanation from google: We can be trapped in a situation just by a way of thinking. This leaves us unable to see another way, move (literally or metaphorically), or change. And, it usually leads to repeating the same situation or thinking, over and over again. 

Short answer: thinking.

No one’s ever thought themselves into their goals…. or into living a full life.

I’ve tried it, can confirm it doesn’t work.

Something that’s trained into us unnaturally is hesitation. That’s not part of our primal nature, but after our graduating obedience training k-12, we become hypothetical dreamers, and literal lames.

Your task is to revert to your ignorance.

That childlike innocence that is excited about the world and then from there, MOVE.

MOVE anywhere. Do things, try things, experiment.

The reason you suck at the game of life is because you’re afraid. This game was meant to be played with ignorant boldness.

TURN OFF THAT INNER MONOLOGUE and turn on the play.

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What Everybody Ought to Know About Self Improvement

Published September 18, 2021 by V

The sheer volume of online personality tests available is insane.

There’s a test for everything.

From the bullshit “spirit animal” buzzfeed quizzes to self-soothing myers briggs “science” … we’re a generation looking for improvement.

Unfortunately, that’s not what results from these tests (pun intended).

Instead, we end up trying to over-identify with something stupid and then we become these weird mascots of some obvious archetype…. and now you’re not a whole ass person.

We start the rabbit hole in search of self betterment, but get lost in “proud of who I am.”

It’s cheap.

The problem with self improvement is this– definition. See, most of these tests shouldn’t exist. We forget what it is we’re trying to improve and when something like a good ol’ internet assessment tells us, “actually you’re not lazy–you’re an intellectual,” you end up defending being a loser.

In this sense, self improvement isn’t real.

After braces, we have a better smile– but those are still our teeth. Genetically, you have f**ked up teeth, but the braces kept them in line.

Don’t look for self-improvement, look to build systems (having things in place that maximize your character and make you your best version).

That’s what we all get wrong.

We don’t need better personalities or to change who we are.

We need better attitudes and systems to guide our behavior. That’s the only reason it’s important to know yourself– but this knowledge can’t be “tested online.”

This is you writing or being with yourself, and gradually getting to know yourself. What environments do you thrive in? Where do you suck?

Typing your date wouldn’t help you know them on any meaningful level.

It’s the same with yourself.

Don’t go cheap, go deep.

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Father Time’s a Track Star…

Published September 17, 2021 by V

If you delay, he’ll pass you.

Father Time always makes his rounds, and racing untrained runners is his specialty.

Look, I’ll admit that while I made pretty good progress this year– I’m no where near my goals…. and it’s time to switch pace.

I think the reason a lot of us are so hung up on what we want is we overthink it. We’re not sure is it right for us, should we pursue certain goals, etc.

But in truth, you don’t choose what you want–you’re born to it.

Your desires reveal who you really are and assuming you don’t wish ill of anyone, this is a good thing. It makes this entire process simple.

What lasts is you– your hopes and dreams that remain unimpacted by time and wisdom, that’s your task to bring to life.

When I was young, I thought I wanted to be a movie star– I grew up and realized I was right. But it wasn’t acting, or celebrity-ing around hunted by paparazzi.

For me, it was just having a fun life, living my own movie.

And that’s what I’m on now.

There’s no reason not to love life.

There’s no reason to take any of this too seriously.

It’s a game.

We know that, because we know how it ends.

We know it’s temporary.

And while we’re not racing against other individuals, there is a runner who’s always making his rounds.

Don’t stagnate, because he doesn’t.

Just keep move.

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Fake Interest To Take Interest

Published September 16, 2021 by V

Look, we all want engaging and fulfilling lives.

No one wants an existence of passionless routines.

But the level of fulfillment you’ll get doesn’t come from you matching to the right environment, it comes from you submitting totally to your current one.

It’s the weirdest and strangest law of nature.

Somehow, as a human being, you can role play your way into a new life.

The truth is, this VR world doesn’t have any rules for how you choose to approach the game and yet most people do it the same— they’re background characters in their own stories.

Imagine choosing to dominate instead, choosing to shine, choosing to go all out.

It’ll feel weird and unsafe to put yourself out there at the forefront because we’re raised not to do this.

You’ll have to fake it, but the advantages are endless. More opportunities, abundance, you’ll learn more skills, be more connected with others, and literally create a life of excitement from nothing but your own will.

Your childlike approach is the key, and I’m getting good at this myself.

FAKE IT.

Remember how you did that as a kid. We could pretend to be superheroes and just play.

If this was all a game– is this who you’d want to play as?

You are the person you imagine in your mind, your task is to bring that out. Do that, and you’ll create the life you dream of.

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Life’s Antidote: What Got You Results?

Published September 15, 2021 by V

Sometimes we two-step and fall back on our way forward.

I often fall into my default ways, but quickly catch myself with this reminder.

My big-thinking, my wishes and dreams– they feel good to live in, but only momentarily. Not only is this not real, but it’s robbed me of anything meaningful.

I’m talking about dreams.

The dreams you have but never act on.

Some say keep those alive, feed the fire– I say extinguish it. If you’re not already acting on them in some way, they are likely delusions…. then again, only you can know what’s real.

I don’t have all the answers, but it’s ultra-clear and plain-as-day-obvious that ONE cocktail-mix is responsible for all my progress in my life.

And that is:

Practicality + Commitment.

The practicality is the ability to see reality. We think we can– we can’t.

Not fully.

This is a skill that must be developed.

The clearer you can see reality, the more successful you’ll become. And the second part is commitment.

You dreamers might relate to this.

Before I had my thing (core skills and practices I could commit to), all I did was dream. I’d imagine traveling to new places, living a wild life of adventure, and doing it all. My life was some action movie, and me the hero.

Think of it this way: We’re made to commit. Babies are born as raw potential, but we only “become” something (self-actualize) through choosing a path and sticking to it.

Ironic.

Turns out, submission is true freedom.

The craving for my movie would get so strong, oftentimes It’d possess me and I’d move.

Then, finding myself in a new state and alone– clarity would follow. Here: I wasn’t adventurous or happy, rather miserable and pissed off. I couldn’t understand why I needed to come here. Why did I not see what I actually had?

It was like as soon as you sobered up from the call, you found that all you did was isolate yourself in a foreign land. Worse of all, now you lost all your progress and have to start over.

Which is why with this post I want to remind you: MIND WHAT WORKED.

What got you ahead in life?

Where did your progress come from?

It likely wasn’t jumping around, or doing something all or nothing. Change is incremental.

When we stagnate, we dream. That’s our default. But instead of doing something potentially regrettable, start where you are. Add small tweaks, the future is in the moment.

There is no where else to go, just lean in.

Life is here, if you engage– it’ll find you.

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Why aren’t you good?

Published September 14, 2021 by V

Do you have your reasons always ready?

We put off happiness because we still need (fill in the blank).

The irony is everything good in my life came from when I didn’t need anything. When I desired nothing to be different.

But we’re desire machines… and no one can desire nothing– well, no one I know.

It’s obvious for me that I can’t do what others do, neither can you. We may look at individuals we like and enjoy spending time with, and we open ourselves to their influence. We do this in hopes of absorbing some of that calmer energy.

But it doesn’t work like that.

The only things that last, are the things you earned.

Character is something intentional.

If you’re not guud, it’s because you need a better character.

This post is a reminder to myself: F**K ALL THE ADVICE. Life is too short, the only thing that should be top of the mind is who do you want to play this game as?

What kind of experiences do you want to have?

Define your life.

Everything follows your character. Just change yourself– and your life will follow.

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Do what you can’t not.

Published September 13, 2021 by V

A lot of pursuits are overrated.

I wasted more time than I care to admit on “idea validation.”

If wisdom is learning from others, the biggest takeaway for me has been this: whatever idea you’re on– run it.

Start.

Just dew it– swiftly, unsurely, naively.

It’s almost better if you don’t love it completely because then you’ll be practical.

A lot of us make the mistake of idea romanticizing. We wile away years wondering– is this idea the one tho? Does it fit who I am? Will it fulfill me?

Funny thing is, not only is that unproductive– but current you can’t answer that question. That’s not for you to answer. Leave future concerns, for your future self.

Nothing always leads nowhere.

Research feels like you’re doing something– but what results from it? Usually a headache, from staring at a computer screen all day… and still no actions taken.

The quickest way to start a business, find a passion, etc.- Is to do what you can’t not do. There are things you’ll do no matter what, they’re just apart of who you are and those are the things that will help you succeed.

Weird thing about a lot of us. When we’re starting out, we leave the things we’re good at, and our unique advantages, to then go start at ground zero.

Don’t do that.

Instead, take what you do automatically and leverage it.

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Success is Self-Esteem and You have None

Published September 12, 2021 by V

Yesterday I took this values exercise.

The exercise doesn’t ask you what you love and value, or what you think is important to you.

Instead, it asks how you spend your time and energy. What you do most days? What habits you regularly repeat?

And then looking at the cause behind those actions– we’ll find your values.

There were some recurring answers, and those values are much stronger than others. But the real point of this is to see if you’re living out what you admire.

Our Self-Concept is what determines our levels of success– I think therefore I am. Yeah, might sound corny… but stays true nonetheless.

Well, if you value constantly developing yourself, owning your time, growth, and health but you’re around turds who don’t– there will be residue throughout your being, and it’ll grow into anger towards those not like you.

The reason you take things personal is you see it as an attack on you.

People not like you undermine you of your values, which to an extent is true. If you value openness in communication but the other person values getting along– you’ll end up hating them, because to keep you around they think small talk is worth it. But you’ll never be close them, because you despise falseness, small talk, and idiots who can’t communicate.

I say all this to say, you NEED to become yourself to succeed and the only way to do that is to LIVE your values on your terms 100% EVERY SINGLE DAY.

There’s no half-sies.

Success is Self Esteem.

Which comes from identifying and living your values.

Stop keeping deadbeats around you. This is your movie, be selfish, you’re the main character after all.

Or would you like to disappear into the background of your own story?

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Internet + Insight = Freedom

Published September 11, 2021 by V

Knowledge will change you faster than a scolding parent– thing is, when we see a better way it’s almost impossible to go back.

Imagine being born in the best time ever– we’ve got infants making money, low-barriers to entry for most fields, access to nearly anyone on the planet, and all the information made public— imagine with all this, you still have old school goals.

That was me.

I had outdated desires.

But I did get lucky.

With my journey taking me through marketing, my mind was finally opened to the world I actually live in, and now I’m going modern.

If you’re stuck, it’s because you’re attached to a specific way/path. Let it go.

It’s crazy how much better life is when we redefine what it is we’re after. I used to dream about specific ways of succeeding– and that made me rigid, and unsuccessful.

When I opened myself up and let go of my own ideas, I found a better way, one that suited me far more.

If I’ve gained any wisdom from my small success so far, it’s this: Progress follows Playfulness and playfulness is being open.

A lot of us find ourselves angry for not knowing what we want, not having what we think we should– or being someplace we thought we desired.

That’s a pathetic attitude.

Realize right now, if you’re reading this– you’ve already got what you need. It isn’t a tool thing, it’s a mind thing. Let go of your idea of how things “should be.”

That’ll be what frees you to succeed.

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Toddler Fury: Where Do You Have It In You?

Published September 10, 2021 by V

When I was at my lowest-self-esteem, I reached out to legitimate mbti practitioners. Long story short, if you understand how your brain is wired, you can begin to see your blind spots and finally get better of them.

So, they typed me.

Of course, I didn’t agree with it at the time. I thought I was more magical, special, and some deviant… a unique exception to the rule. Why? Because I didn’t identify with my struggle– most of us don’t.

Despite the fact that I was doing exactly what she said I’d do.

I just thought the reason mattered– sure, maybe other EXXPs jump around because of their uncontrollable curiosity but not me. No, I’m looking for my unique purpose in life… and that’s different #Puke.

Anyways, point is they were right. And after having more of the same, I grew sick and tired and then finally wiser.

That led me to starting something and sticking which pulled me out, but that’s not the point of this story.

The point here is that was just step 1.

You can now move onto problem number 2.

Toddler fury over inanimate objects perfect timing.

Yesterday, my car alarm starts going off. I spring to action immediately to answer the cry for help, and make sure no particular intruder set off the bat signal. I’m standing there shooting my car with the clicker, but no response……

… I try what every capable American would. I keep pushing the button, harder, now I’m trying different combinations– Lock, unlock, alarm.

Still nothing.

The alarm goes silent from it’s annoying cry, but I can’t get into my car.

The clicker died, despite the battery being changed a year ago.

So my car, which is supposedly not alive, has decided to switch sides and lock me out. Rage.

Instant rage.

I could tell you what happens afterwards and how I drove to two different shops to get the clicker replaced, one had the tool for the job but no battery, the other had batteries and no tool — but I’ll spare you the details.

The day ended it with me discovering, it’s not the battery at all.

And on a more personal level, I still have a lot of work to do.

No human being can TOP the anger that comes from these seemingly unalive objects getting me.

How am I working on this?

By recognizing this will forever be a thing, and on these days I will stay true to the character I want to have.

Instead of driving around like a lunatic, I’ll go straight home. Stay enjoying the night and deal with it next day.

Put yourself first next time.

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Letting Go of Everything… Except the One Thing

Published September 9, 2021 by V

It’s true.

Desire is suffering.

The more we want, the more our minds focus on our current state of lack– and we start to feel restless and angry from being in a state of “not having.”

Putting yourself in a state of play will invigorate your life– but it’s not enough. There’s a lot of things we can change, and just by changing our attitudes, life definitely gets better.

But the things we can’t change is core desires.

You weren’t wrong for wanting, you were just doing it wrong.

In my youth, I knew I wanted freedom but it was undefined. I had no clue what that meant– and I pursued it in an idiotic fashion…

…Today, I have the end in mind. It isn’t just freedom, it’s living life on my terms. Knowing this, I don’t waste time pursuing things that won’t lead to it.

You can only have one desire at a time.

That’s the issue for most of us, we’re not able to point to a single thing and say confidently: That is what I’m after.

Happiness is letting go.

That’s true, but we have to have our one thing– we need the guiding light.

And that brings me to where I am today. Purpose.

It isn’t spiritual. It isn’t abstract.

It’s what allows us to explore while being directed, to play while moving forward.

Define your end goal, have it clear enough to know when you get it but broad enough for it to evolve with you.

This is what makes life rich.

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Never Relapse: Remembering Where You Came From

Published September 8, 2021 by V

Note to self: “calling / purpose” is great, but that comes after you secure the bag.

The other day, my best friend came over and we kicked it. He and I have very similar journeys and right now are experiencing similar financial successes (by no accident– we both want freedom).

Before we got into it, laughing at our shared search history– my mind went down its default mode of thinking: wanting more, not sure how to get it, not sure whats more even look like…

…and before I knew it, I was feeling angry at not knowing my “why” and “calling.” Even after all my growth, it goes to show you it’s still easy to slip up into your negative patterns (especially when you start looking at others successes, never compare yourself dammit!).

Anyways—

Soon, I found myself feeling those all-too familiar moods– the unhappy restlessness coming from my obsessive need for some bullshit purpose.

But he and I started talking, and I quickly let it go because I don’t want to make myself miserable worrying about finding some all or nothing idiotic passion.

We started talking about how quickly our lives changed as a result of being practical.

We laughed at our old struggles, how we used to meet up complaining about finding our spiritual mission in life— while being broke AF.

And then we both realized in that moment, DAMN we made it out! STOP and realize you made it out.

I’m never going back to how I used to be!!!!

Just remembering where I’m coming from, the things I used to complain about, how I used to view things– I will never do that again.

Building might not be the most fun thing you do, but it’s waaay better than searching. We used to obsess over finding a calling– when we never needed that, truth is neither of us cared. I don’t know how we got so hung up on that step in the first place.

Get your money right first.

Maybe for some of you calling does come first, but the way we are and were– we only ever prioritized freedom– so it’s strange that we were stuck on something that never motivated us in the first place.

After laughing at our dumbass selves and realizing how far we’ve come, that perspective filled me with massive gratitude.

And now, I’m back on track.

So, a quick reminder when you’re feeling like shite about your life: Remember where you’re coming from.

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Feeding Your Wolves

Published September 7, 2021 by V

Inside me there are two wolves.

One hungers for a life of discipline, mastery, and total submission to my craft. The other craves adrenaline, adventure, and to live out my own movie life.

These wolves are radically different by nature, don’t belong to the same pack but equally need to be fed.

It used to be one or the other. I’d choose one and “free” the other– hoping it’d disappear and join another pack….. They don’t.

You won’t starve one off either, just make them hungrier… and harder to control.

You’re born to these wolves, they’re apart of you. You don’t get to pick and choose or trade with other packs, because like it or not, they are what drives you.

Feed your wolves.

Find what they hunger for and feed them both. Make the mistake of favoring one, and you’ll find yourself at the mercy of the other.

Your becoming is a result of leading your pack, they have to work together. The only way to do that, is design a life where both wolves can co-exist and be satisfied.

Want that movie life? Star as the main character– be bold, stand out, take new risks every single day. As for mastery, commit yourself to a few disciplines. It isn’t one or the other, there is no right way or wrong way. It’s actually simple…

…What do they hunger for?

Feed them.

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Dorks Quirky Superpowers

Published September 6, 2021 by V

Looking back, I realize it’s the traits you don’t like about yourself that actually show your individuality– and this should be your primary focus and starting point when pursuing fulfillment.

The things that make us unique, we’re often taught to be ashamed of. It makes sense too– since no one has that weird thing you do, you should probably tuck that away in the olĂ©’ subconscious… you know, if you want to make friends and get a job.

But that weirdness is what’s required to stand out and become who you are.

My career is an exact reflection of my individuality, which is why I find it so fulfilling. Before this, I tried to chase what looked cool… What I thought would be fun, I copied others because I wanted their success.

And that was uber-depressing…. and even worse, it didn’t use my weirdness, which made work, play, and my entire day LIFELESS.

You end up feeling disconnected, because that lifeforce that makes everything engaging, creative, and playful is your own authenticity and that can only come from your inner dork.

When we’re young, we’re naturally connected to this. It’s not something we intellectualize or even have to think about, but our “roles” are eventually forced on us and we gradually forget.

What no one says is this, you DO have to be an actor to the public just not with yourself.

We’re social creatures, and part of success is playing the game.

But that dorkness is what will breathe life into your existence. It’s hard to explain what this is, only you can know it– since it’s radically different for all of us.

For one of my close friends, his weird trait that he never considered unique is he thinks his way into others minds. It’s automatic, not something he wants to do or even tries to do. But sure enough, when we’re out and he sees other individuals, his mind automatically connects how they got to this moment with who they are, and how they must experience the world.

His mind tries to view life through their lenses.

For me, my mind is a role player. When I was a kid, I always knew how to present things to get desired outcomes. I knew how things had to look and feel to get specific results. I knew this, because everyone looked like a character, and with enough understanding– connecting was easy.

This weirdness can be anything– it can be an obsession with a subject, an automatic skill, a driver or curiosity– but you will know it, because it’s always been with you.

Stop dressing up your own resume with yourself– we do this too much. “Well, I’m naturally a leader” yeah, that won’t help you.

You’re looking for the thing you never voiced.

Get weird, and start there.

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Who Will You Play As?

Published September 5, 2021 by V

Dear Past, Present, & Day after Tomorrow selves– never forget this rule to the game.

My sister once called me Peter Pan during an argument (it was meant to be an insult), but has since become a moniker I really connect with.

Because all there really is to do, is play.

See, we’ve got these backwards instinctual habits as human beings. One of them being when we dislike things, we put up figurative walls– crawl away into our minds daydreams, and put the not-so-ideal moment on autopilot.

I did this a lot.

In fact, it was my go-to videogame in childhood. While my peers engaged with screens, I unlocked the gates to Neverland through an overactive imagination.

The habit I developed was cheating on the present.

I always daydreamed.

We’ve all got mind movies of how we see ourselves and how we want life to play out, but I was so content with mine– I said no to a lot of life.

Convinced the regular wasn’t for me, I withdrew. And the result?

I was always bored, unhappy, and alone.

But lucky for me, it eventually clicked. It clicked after the compound interest from all the life lessons kicked in and I finally got it.

Life is literally what you make it.

You can change how you approach the game at any moment, and when I finally realized that, not intellectually, but actually, everything changed… because I did.

I don’t care to be some cool and composed individual who takes things seriously, that’s a waste of life for me.

I’m only interested in LEANING into every moment, as much as possible.

To do that, you have to let go of a lot of the beliefs you hold onto. It isn’t easy, but there isn’t another way.

Free of your rigid, adult thoughts, you’ll be able to play.

And every moment of your life will be more.

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Authenticity Breeds Success

Published September 4, 2021 by V

I never was a fan of labels.

I always hated how carelessly other people would walk around and stick a word on someone… maybe it’s because I know what the human being does and how one lives up to their reputation, good or bad.

That said, there is an upside to this quirk.

You can take that label gun of yours and stick it against yourself for positive change (Re-define your label).

Everyone says be authentic.

But really, what the hell does that actually mean?

If you grew up in any generation ever, then you were born to a time and thus you’ve been socialized to some extent.

You don’t fully know or understand yourself.

Every I AM statement defines you and it blows my mind how careless so many of us are uttering those worlds.

I AM (fill in the blank).

See how many you can come up with. I AM a mother, father, democrat, republican, writer, Christian, Atheist, disciplined, etc.

We use our labels to make sense of the limitless potentials we are– because we can’t stay limitless. To actualize your potential, you have to choose a direction and stick to it.

That’s how you take something and make more out of it.

But a lot of us choose groups…

…not me.

I don’t identify with tribes.

That’s not to say some of my beliefs aren’t shared by others, I’m just not giving up my individuality saying we belong together.

And why?

Because every awesome thing in my life came from me DOING and BEING Me (Complete Authenticity).

It’s such an exciting time to be alive, there is so much going on in the world. Cool advancements in tech and medicine, shifts in career and work, abundance of opportunities for everyone, yet most can’t see it… they do nothing.

They haven’t learned the basics.

I’m not pursuing every hot new trend, because I know who I am. I’m taking what I’m like and matching it to my environment as much as possible.

That’s the formula for fulfillment.

That’s all you need to do.

Find the nature, that matches your nature.

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Building Sandcastles

Published September 3, 2021 by V

Want different things?

I used to feel conflicted between my desires– I wanted the “ignorant lifestyle” (fast life, mansion, cars, etc.) and the one of deep fulfillment… and I’ve since solved for that.

The answer isn’t in what you want– it’s the end result you’d enjoy.

Do I love training muay thai? Kinda-sorta. There are definitely days I’d love to skip, but I don’t. When I see how my masterful instructors move about with ease and power, I remind myself why I need and want this.

I want that end result.

It’s sort of the same thing with my career– I enjoy the everyday, but keeping that end result in mind, it makes it easy for me to stay the course through the tough days… and there are definitely days I question my course.

It’s okay to not love every single minute of everyday, happiness is a moment but fulfillment is a lifetime.

Fulfillment is far more valuable and it comes from something entirely different than happiness— it comes from deep engagement.

I’ve had to train myself to play different games to get to this point of my life, and I’m lucky it was within my control.

For starters, I ask myself: How can I maximize each day?

There’s always going to be things you hate doing, what could you do that would make that day more enjoyable? The other day, I was sore and ultra-fatigued and really didn’t want to go to muay thai.

On the drive there, I kept thinking how I could make it more fun.

When I arrived, my solution was the same as for everything else in my life. I engaged more with everyone. Lots of play and humor– and sure enough, a second wind came and I rode it to the top of joy and excitement.

It’s simple, not easy.

But you can train yourself to do this.

I play towards my goals.

That’s how I intend on designing, and living the rest of my life. I know who I am at my best, and to honor that everyday– I keep certain habits and routines in place.

More importantly, I practice a playful mindset.

Others go miserable wanting things, I’m just focused on my own sandbox and having fun building sandcastles.

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Speaking (of) Into Existence?

Published September 2, 2021 by V

It’s a thing.

I don’t think you can literally tongue magic millions of dollars before you just be chanting a phrase, but it looks like there is something to saying your goals out loud.

A strange lil’ trick for behavior change in psychology is leveraging social contracts. We tend to not want to be hypocrites– so when we repeatedly tell others we’re going to do something, we increase our likelihoods of doing it.

A lot of us already know this, maybe even do it, but I’m more interested in what it does to the social contract you have with yourself.

My writing career is a chicken-egg scenario, not sure which came first. Was I interested or did I become interested after proclaiming I was going to do it?

Either way, I ended up doing it and now won’t change.

I said I was after mastery so many times, that now something in my brain sets off an alarm anytime I engage with activities that move me away from it, even if it’s slight… and I immediately return.

I’ve built my identity around the things I do.

In a way, you’re not just proclaiming what you want to happen– you’re announcing who you’re going to become.

You’re telling the world this is my character and when you do that, it’s near impossible to go back on your word.

Sound strange?

Performance coaches use this same technique to create lasting change. Attacking behavior is temporary, but identity… that’s what lasts– that’s what will have you maintain when no one’s looking.

And that’s what matters.

Where do you want change?

Health, finance, a new career?

Speak it into existence. Make it your identity. First, get clear on who the type of person that has the thing you want is? If it’s health, maybe that’s the type of person who enjoys being active and eating in moderation. Money? This could be the type of person who enjoys tracking and growing their finances.

It’s not about the thing itself, it’s what creates the thing.

Before I became a copywriter, the question was what exactly do they do? I became that, by doing it…. and I only started doing it after I told anyone who would listen, this is what I’m after.

Sure enough, that’s what I got.

Hurtin’ for change? Start chanting my friends, because it looks like for each and every one of us– our word becomes our bond.

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What’s Your Story?

Published September 1, 2021 by V

In general, we’re all skilled at explaining.

I guess, it’s just a lot of repetition. And it doesn’t seem to even matter what we come up with, so long as we have a reason.

This isn’t only true for what we tell others, but also what we tell ourselves.

Not nearly talked about as much as it should be, the story we tell ourselves (our self explanations and definitions) determines most of our experiences.

I’m the type of person that ( fill in the blank ).

What comes to mind with that statement? What are some of the first things that pop up? Don’t judge them, record them. Observe.

Your answers to that question are apart of your story. The answers you like, you should develop even more… and those you don’t, delete.

We try to control things we have no say over, but for the things we could easily change at any moment– we never touch.

Why do you think movies and books are so powerful (excluding the shit ones) ?

We’re wired for story, we evolve through story, it’s not only our explanations for life but our direction and guide.

Every single one of us is a meaning making machine.

You need to take ownership if you want something more than a coincidental life. You’ll need to redefine a lot of yourself and your myth.

This isn’t hard to do, but it’s hard to live by.

Even the people who love change will meet resistance, the brain fears what it doesn’t know. That, and deep down, we all love who we are. Before you protest, “not me” understand that every single one of us has changed in an instant when forced to.

But somehow when it’s optional, meh– you pick your current self.

So decide, what’s your story?

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You Are Here, so Be Here.

Published August 31, 2021 by V

I’m two months shy of one year– that’s the length of time for me to finally embrace BEing present. I used to gag every time I heard a successful person give advice like, “whatever your present role, do it all the way.”

..and without making myself throw up here, I’ll tell you it did change everything.

That’s right. You have to be a fool to be a master, and I was a real fool.

A lot of us play side characters in our own movies. Some just go through the motions, blend into the backgrounds, they’re too afraid to take risks or stand out.

Somehow, they’ve forgotten it’s their movie. Each of us stars as the main character in our own play– and I refuse to be cautious and careful in mine.

My goals have definitely shifted since leaning into life. I went from needing a purpose, to writing my own. From looking for passion, to committing to skill.

I left “ideally” and became practical.

It doesn’t matter where you are, that was the realization I desperately needed. It matters who you are, and that’s a choice. You can play the game however you like– you can be so much more than you are.

Taking this serious is pathetic. It’s a waste of life.

Sometimes I fall back into it, but at least now I catch myself and quickly pull out.

Wherever you are, BE there. Be present.

Stop day-and-night dreaming away your life. That’s the real reason we suffer, that’s why a lot of people are miserable.

They hate their roles, in their movies… and they forgot they could rewrite all of it.

Imagine being able to write your own script, but choosing to play as an extra?!!

You need to let go of all of that.

I’m not saying don’t go after goals, far from it. I’m saying upgrade that character first. Become the person, who lives that life you crave and you will naturally achieve it.

So, who is that person?

How do they think, act, and feel? How do they approach life, what do they believe?

Start there— and bring this into the world.

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