Looking back, I realize it’s the traits you don’t like about yourself that actually show your individuality– and this should be your primary focus and starting point when pursuing fulfillment.
The things that make us unique, we’re often taught to be ashamed of. It makes sense too– since no one has that weird thing you do, you should probably tuck that away in the olé’ subconscious… you know, if you want to make friends and get a job.
But that weirdness is what’s required to stand out and become who you are.
My career is an exact reflection of my individuality, which is why I find it so fulfilling. Before this, I tried to chase what looked cool… What I thought would be fun, I copied others because I wanted their success.
And that was uber-depressing…. and even worse, it didn’t use my weirdness, which made work, play, and my entire day LIFELESS.
You end up feeling disconnected, because that lifeforce that makes everything engaging, creative, and playful is your own authenticity and that can only come from your inner dork.
When we’re young, we’re naturally connected to this. It’s not something we intellectualize or even have to think about, but our “roles” are eventually forced on us and we gradually forget.
What no one says is this, you DO have to be an actor to the public just not with yourself.
We’re social creatures, and part of success is playing the game.
But that dorkness is what will breathe life into your existence. It’s hard to explain what this is, only you can know it– since it’s radically different for all of us.
For one of my close friends, his weird trait that he never considered unique is he thinks his way into others minds. It’s automatic, not something he wants to do or even tries to do. But sure enough, when we’re out and he sees other individuals, his mind automatically connects how they got to this moment with who they are, and how they must experience the world.
His mind tries to view life through their lenses.
For me, my mind is a role player. When I was a kid, I always knew how to present things to get desired outcomes. I knew how things had to look and feel to get specific results. I knew this, because everyone looked like a character, and with enough understanding– connecting was easy.
This weirdness can be anything– it can be an obsession with a subject, an automatic skill, a driver or curiosity– but you will know it, because it’s always been with you.
Stop dressing up your own resume with yourself– we do this too much. “Well, I’m naturally a leader” yeah, that won’t help you.
You’re looking for the thing you never voiced.
Get weird, and start there.
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