Tag: self development

Hi Fool,

It’s been a while since we did one of these.

Last week I had my 1 year anniversary as a writer… tears of joy, but tears are tears. Anyways, it got me thinking as celebrations of life always do– where am I? and more importantly, what’s next?

I came across an idea that spoke to me very deeply, and this has become the primary focus.

Zone of Genius.

This is not my idea, just something I’m sharing. That said,

There are four zones:

1. Zone of Incompetence.
2. Zone of Competence.
3. Zone of Excellence.
4. Zone of Genius.

Zone of Incompetence are the things that other people probably do better than you (ie- fix your car), and therefore you should outsource if they don’t give you joy.

Zone of Competence are the things that you do just fine, but others are as good as you (ie- clean your bathroom) and therefore you should outsource if they don’t give you joy.

Zone of Excellence are the things that you are excellent at (ie- better than others), but don’t love doing.  This is the danger zone.  Many people will want you to keep doing these things (as they gain significant value from you doing them, ie- key functions in your job), but this is the area that you should also look to move away from.  This is the hard one!

Zone of Genius are the things that you are uniquely good at in the world, and that you love to do (so much so that time and space likely disappear when you do them).  This is where you can add most value to the world and yourself.  This is where you should be driving toward spending most, if not all, of your time.

Recruit some outside help to help you find your zone of genius. Send these questions–

In your interactions with me:

• What do I do that you experience as “world-class”?  
• What do I do where I appear to be experiencing fun, peace or joy (if different from above)?
• What do I do that I am good at but that I don’t appear to enjoy?
• What do I do that I am not better than others?
• What do I do that I am actually worse than others?”

Life’s too short to not live out who we are.

Stay Foolish.

You have to be afraid of your way to stop doing it, and why? Because your lame and fluffy cloud-head isn’t moving you forward.

I think society is slowly retiring the word “dreams” — in the future, maybe we only use it when explaining deja vu’s and our untapped psychic powers.

Dreams are cheap.

Besides entertainment value, they contribute next to nothing for our lives. In fact, they may even do more harm than good.

Some of us feel oddly accomplished just by having a dream, it keeps you from feeling like a total loser because theres something to hold onto…. even though it isn’t real. I think the nature of dreams makes us delay all action.

I’ve seen this in everyone I know.

They point to a bigass star– and obviously need a lot of rocket fuel to get there… but they also need a rocket, a rocket license, and a map.

Maybe they plan.

So they “do the google” and find the “how to do this dream of urz breakdown.” And now they know, it takes this much $$ and you’ll need various resources– of which you have none. Years pass, they’re pursuing the having of these resources… and now they’re too old for the dream, so they say.

Have they moved forward and really even tried?

Of course not.

This is what dreams do for most people.

They cloud your head, vision, and life. They make you obsess over something but without working towards it and honestly, they’re completely unnecessary.

Fuck a dream, dream a goal.

Practically set a goal for yourself that’s worth achieving and never stop til you get it. We’re human beings– we need carrots on a stick to chase. It’s better if you don’t totally love it, but just want it for practical reasons. This will keep you level and unemotional– which leads to better strategy and action.

By nature, everyones default is to fall in love with their dream. That’s a failure formula waiting to be concocted.

All you need to do is build something you’re built to build, and you’ll reach a goal. Do this and somehow the universe will miraculously reward your efforts and your life will be better than anything you’ve ever dreamed of.

I love DUNE. I’ve read all the books way before there was ever even talks of a movie, but that movie was fire too.

That said, your only mind killer isn’t fear.

It’s also the wrong attitude.

It’s insane how much this impacts every single aspect of your life.

A negative attitude will just about crush any chance of improvement. It’ll cause you to spit in the face of opportunity and cheat on the rented time allotted to you.

I wouldn’t worry so much about fear. Wasting life is a far more imminent danger– and it’s easy to do nowadays, mix in your shit outlook and you’ve just about done it.

A negative attitude is a life liquidator.

I write a lot about attitude because it’s easily one of the hardest things for me to maintain. Different minds have different wiring, and mine is wired to play compare and contra—st-I-don’t-have-that.

It’s SUPER lame.

It’s not like I’m staring at Lambos crying about my all too present desire for one, it’s more being in love with the idea of fulfillment.

Anyone else relate to that?

You’re in love with the concept of love, but not actual love.

REAL life demands compromise– you can refuse all you want, but then be alone, living off grid, cooking the milk.

I think we’re all guilty of forgetting this.

The Trade.

There is and always will be a pay to play, and if you don’t want to it’s fine, but you can’t complain when you’re instantly disqualified.

We all want our cake and to eat it too.

But it comes down to the game you think is worth playing for— wanna be fulfilled? What game aren’t you playing?

And how can you be entered?

When I tell you I’ve greatly underestimated the value of true friendship, I don’t just mean fun and excitement.

True friendship tests you. It pushes back on your bullshit, but at the same time– it points you in the right direction.

Everything I did on my own was naturally delusional. My introspection was delusional.

I kept leaving what I was naturally inclined for and choosing random paths that I tried to persuade myself were for me.

Reading my journals– who the hell wrote them? How is it possible that you have the right memories with the wrong endings?

Don’t choose what you like or want, choose what you repeatedly do.

Easily the greatest gift from my brotherhood is this— both of us stopped judging ourselves and got REAL. Stop trying to be something you’re not, and go all the way in on what you naturally do.

You’ll know when you interact with the actual thing– when you’re on the real path. It’ll make you feel more yourself, you’ll be freer. Boredom won’t reach you so easily, and something in you will light up.

You’ll have more energy, excitement, and engagement.

Whatever it is you think you want, entertain the fact that you could be completely wrong. Because what’s better than a life of fun is fulfillment.

The person who must have something, the one that is so desperate to get that thing they’ve given up on every other unrelated aspect of life– they never get it.

But that part time casual, the one who is practical and steadily works towards that aim, they end up achieving it.

Desperation is delusions cousin.

As soon as you need something, all-or-nothing need it, do or die type of desire– contrary to popular guru opinion, you don’t get it.

In fact, your mind makes that thing you so desperately want bigger than what it is, it distorts it, and now you’re further removed from it.

You end up being all weird when you have to take action or approach it, and when faced with opportunity, you’ll self sabotage. We all have this– the only question is where are you weird? Ever notice the areas that come so easily to you, you pretty much don’t care about? I have friends who really value having social circles….

…and then theres me, who literally goes hermit, unplugs, and missing for months.

Some think it’s rude, but you know how artists get— we disappear regularly in the name of creativity.

Point is, it’s me who easily gets the social circles out of all the people I know. Easily. I send text, they say yes, we social-vert.

Never understood what was difficult there.

I get weird with creating.

“Oh, we’re making something?” face gets all itchy, I start thinking grandiose, the playfulness wears off, and now it’s all-or-nothing thinking.

The solution? Apply the same method from the areas of life you’re effortless in– but to your desire. To do this, you have to let go.

You have to make it smaller, not bigger than it is.

You have to see it as just another thing, nothing more or less.

Trust that if it’s true to you— to who you are, you’ll return to it. If not, you’ll find what is. Either way, you’ll find what you were really looking for.

…The problem is your attitude of the problem.” –Cap. Jack Sparrow

If you need the commercial breaks during your movie, you’re doing it wrong.

Ever have those days where everything is clear? You feel good, you only see the positive, and even though it doesn’t last, all you feel is gratitude for the life you have?

I wish I could lock these in, keep them on repeat, and live the rest of my life like this.

These never last long, but during– I can see clearly, I’m optimistic, happy to be alive, and filled with gratitude.

During these commercials, I’m in the best possible mood. If I could stay in that mind, I’d have the exact life I’d always wanted.

All moods are temporary, but somehow this one is the commercial break. My movie is the “Everything is fucked” genre.

But I’m changing that.

Yesterday I saw a commercial that stuck with me. Not a literal Ad, but a brief moment of wisdom coming over you as you drive passed the in-n-out burger.

Boredom is a luxury.

And– you have no real problems.

That voice, the actual voice of reason, common sense— finally spoke loud enough for me to hear and I was instantly lifted into a good mood.

The truth is, you practice suffering all the time. You have no chill. Even with all the journaling, and self-recording, you still didn’t see it.

Your mind just creates problems– straw-men. None of which are real.

You’ve practiced misery so much and being unhappy, that now with all this opportunity, you’re not sure how to handle it. Well I’ll tell you– lighten up.

It is that simple.

Feeling excited about life, and playful towards it is how I want to play this game. So, my focus is a positive, playful, and expansive mindset. Real success is keeping the right frame of mind, that’s what I’ll be doing.

That’s my challenge to you– can you play where you are?

If you don’t have passion, find your interests.

We always skip ahead to what comes after the equals sign, the solution. You need the equation too– otherwise all you did was breeze passed your entire life.

Interest is a lot easier to track.

And can be found via logging your attention. What type of content do you consume? When you’re not vegging on the couch– what do you do in your free time? What do you read about? What section do you naturally roam towards in the bookstore?

Everything is telling, but not everything is important.

Your brain naturally pulls you towards the tools that will develop you most, but this part is instinctive. In other words, we can intellectualize our way out of it and often do– by copying or listening to others.

But the weirdest thing about the brain is that it already has the instructions it needs. The problem is if you overthink it you’ll miss it.

You have to do this casually.

You have to watch and be curious.

What do you obsess about? Don’t force it, explore it.

A couple of bumper-sticker self help books and a half decent online presence, and suddenly our leaderless generation knights a gurus opinion as “knowledge.”

Do yourself a favor– hop of their bathrobe.

We’re living in this weird information- fetishized time, where having someone to deify and follow is considered self improvement.

Here’s a hard truth: That successful person you look up to is an idiot. The same kind of idiot as the rest of us.

Everyone is guessing.

It’s weird to me, and by weird I mean gross, that our youth thinks Billie Eilish is so deep and profound espousing common sense shit, like: Nothing matters, because we’re all gonna die.

Did you not know that til yesterday?

Man, we’re living in an awesome time but at the same time… yikes. They say we’re in the crysis generation, I could see that.

Nothing against Billie, no one has your answers. Replace her with your favorite writer– Stephen King sounds like a politician on twitter. I didn’t follow him for his horror fantasy opinions about the world.

Everyone has an angle, and if you have any micro-success– your opinion is propelled to some validity.

If I was a successful track star but didn’t believe in a round earth– would you listen? Sounds extreme, but that’s what we’re all doing.

You have authors literally telling you not to know yourself– and why? So we can keep following them and buying their dumbass cheap books.

It’s all true.

Friends, our war is a spiritual one.

And guru’s can only stay relevant if you stay conflicted.

But there is some good news and it’s this: You can and should be your own guru.

Only you can figure out yourself and your life. No one told you, but you’re a one-time genetic phenomenon and your biological cocktail will never happen again. So, it’s up to you to discover yourself.

Take the reins of your life and follow you.

You don’t have to lead the free world or invent new rockets, just get to know yourself.

#EveryoneHasaBathrobe

I’m a firm believer of adapting with the times, and a lot of us have dated dreams.

There are so many crazy awesome opportunities out right now, but we stay focused on our narrow ideas of success.

Change is the law.

If you wanted to be in the entertainment industry back in the day, you’d either move to Hollywood or New York and struggle bus your way into it…. or never make it.

You’d work nights so you could go to auditions during the day, try to get an agent, live in a shitty apartment, and hope it doesn’t take 10 years— after that, the market has spoken.

That was the price, and that’s what you had to do.

But imagine doing the same thing today?

Despite all the tools and unique advantages provided by the times?

In general, there are 3 ways to get “inside” the dream life.

The front line, bribing someone, or the back door (this is not my idea, also I’m paraphrasing it).

The problem with the front line is it’s long as shit, everyone goes there, and your odds of being noticed aren’t great. Even if you make it to the door– you’re just another person in line, nothing impressive. Bribing? Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. But do you want to depend on someone being in a good enough mood to help you out?

Then theres the best bet, the backdoor.

This could look like skipping the front, surveying the territory, crawling through a back window to get inside and helping the kitchen staff.

Or for the entertainment industry example, this could look like building an online presence– where your audience doesn’t even really know you because each time you’re showing different sides of yourself (acting). Then having built up a following, that link is shared to old hollyweird.

Idk.

Point is, don’t just go wait in line.

Whatever your dream, use the backdoor.

How familiar are you with your insides?

You know some of your thoughts, but theres an argument to be made for inside you being an entirely different person. For some of us anyway.

To the extent we unify our in-n-out, that is what determines our fulfillment.

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could see the inside, as others see you? If you could step outside of yourself just to get some distance?

Well, here’s a strategy to do that: Video diary series.

I just started doing this, mainly because I don’t want to dress up my words. I’ll never stop writing or journaling, but the problem is– with writing I sometimes still put on a show. Especially since others read this.

You need a place to talk to yourself, thats not in your head.

Your head sucks, and misremembers— which defeats the purpose.

With these recordings, you won’t post them online. They’ll be made by you, for you, recorded and revisited only when you want understanding.

It’s really just thinking out loud.

The on camera part will help you because you’ll be able to go back and see yourself. It’ll give you distance and give you empathy toward that individual. It’s almost like watching a different person, kinda trippy, but liberating.

The reason much of your life is shite, is the seriousness you’ve brought to it.

By being playful with yourself, and developing a new relationship/ communication with yourself– you’ll be free.

Free to live an entirely new life.

So, don’t worry about writing, creating, journaling, or self-proving improvement. Instead, open up that iphone camera, hit record, and say whats up.

They’ve been waiting, and you have everything to gain.

Some of the most enjoyable things in my life are things I never would have chosen. Really, I wouldn’t have even considered them– and that’s what makes anything worth something.

It really isn’t your idea of how things ought to be– that won’t bring you any fulfillment. It oddly ends up being these small moments, that happen incidentally– which usually, you have zero control over them, but they become the priceless experiences.

They add texture to your life. They add color.

Your phone is ringing, but you only hear others pings.

I don’t know why it took me this long to realize this, but the promised land I weirdly obsessed over isn’t something worth pursuing.

Answer the ringing phone in front of you.

Your life is more enjoyable as a result of you embracing it. Maybe a worthwhile exercise is thinking about someone you admire, and how they might approach your entire world– start to finish.

The habit we need to unlearn is daydreaming away our lives.

If you need to sleep on it, sleep. But don’t switch up because someone else has a catchy ringtone.

If you’re adamant on continuing to lie to yourself, at least be more convincing.

You’ve heard the annoying sayings, “everyone has a book in them” or “the next genius is from (insert city)”.

“Not knowing” is by far the worst excuse to not do something.

Potential has never been the issue.

That’s why we have so many dumb self-questions to hype us up– what would you do if you couldn’t fail? #inspirational.

In truth, you’re afraid. No one wants to look stupid, no one wants to lose what they’ve got, no one wants to feel like a fraud.

What they don’t tell you is it’s okay to feel those things, but you have to take action regardless. It’s like playing with a teammate whose hearts not in it– I’m not giving up on the game just because one person would rather be elsewhere.

Every single one of us is pretending, that’s the art of the start. You hype yourself up, decide to do the thing, fail but learn, and then iterate forward.

You used to pretend as a kid, and that’s what got you here. All of a sudden we hit some age and then think– nah, that’s not who I am.

What da..

What a stupid thing to say. You didn’t figure out the world just because you Gandolf-Greyed. You’re a human being, not greek yogurt. Quit expiring yourself and try to relearn.

Act stuck to be stuck. Act on the thing and have the thing.

A phrase I hate the most is “when I get blank I’ll do blank.” You don’t get blank to do blank— and that’s the reason you HAVE BLANK.

Whatever you want– DO it now. In anyway. Example: You want to be an entrepreneur who makes money writing online, has their brand, and works with a few clients. Start writing online, now. Create shitty posts and post them, shitily, on purpose.

Stop thinking people care about your misuse of a comma or word.

No one cares, no one knows better anyway.

Do the thing to have the thing.

MY greatest superpower is my ability to look like an idiot and willingly produce garbage. This is a learned superpower, one that can change everything for you.

So today, be a fool.

Because only Fools create.