I’ve been ducking pursuing my actual dream for awhile now… YEARS.
Nonstop flip-flopping around the idea that it just wasn’t good enough for me.
I wanted it to be bigger, and at the same time I kept trying to convince myself that this particular dream wasn’t a good fit for my character.
Sure… it’s definitely not fear
I looked at others who had it– and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself, which to me they often did.
But Yesterday I started.
What finally pushed me over? Compound interest on self awareness. My problem was I kept comparing myself and my path to others. I’d look at them and think: I want something better, I don’t want to look like that, my title should be cooler, I’m too clever for that, etc.
This line of thinking can only ever lead to one thing: Broke. Broke and alone on your loser ass.
I was playing status games.
A very dumb way of thinking…. and penniless.
But that’s what I was on.
Looking back– I can see what kept me stuck. It was never a lack of skill or direction, but just a bad mindset. I kept throwing away momentum because I kept cheating with ideas of something else– of being someone else.
Withdrawing from my own path undermined my progress.
The combination of journaling, a daily blog, and then a private video diary series led to overcoming my inner conflict. It led me to want to explore myself and to stop playing this stupid compare and contrast game.
It’s crazy how much that was responsible for not being able to create.
The life I wanted demanded authenticity, and without knowing it, I wasn’t.
I couldn’t honor who I was because I kept judging it.
Until now.
If you’re not happy with yourself, it’s because you don’t understand yourself. We all suck, and we’re all awesome. Understanding yourself and cutting yourself slack like you would a different person is what it takes for a fulfilling life.
Whether through writing, voice recording, or private videos to self— start talking to yourself.
Seeing yourself and building the connection is what leads to having empathy and understanding. It helps you stop taking yourself and everything so seriously and it will be what gets you over your own hurdles.
Make the call, and finally start ☎️
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