Month: July 2021

Re-learning to Live

Published July 11, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

I finally get that our dreams, hopes, and achievements don’t actually change our lives– not in the way we think they would.

We might hope for a grand reset through moving to a different state, changing careers, building a new friend group and these things might initiate a little momentum.

But it doesn’t last because change doesn’t come from addition, it comes from revision.

I was always focused on my calling, finding my purpose– I was so tunnel vision on these things I didn’t understand that I was the wrong person to create them.

Overly focused on why I was born, I missed every opportunity to fully enjoy all that the human experience had to offer.

And as I did succeed and inch towards all the things I wanted, I was the same discontented individual.

Then I finally came to understand it, I never re-learned how to live. In my youth I found survival mode.

I was ultra-skeptical, discerning, critical, closed-off, I was mentally distant from the world– because it served me to be. A lot of us enter these phases, but it’s a mistake to let them alter your character and perspective- which I did.

I became someone who was numb to pain… and as a result– numb to joy.

I chased highs to feel something, rather than drugs my choice was risk. Danger made me feel closer to my youth.

But it was always temporary and as soon as the adrenaline wore off, I was me again.

It was made obvious no amount of external anything can change you, regardless of what it was. How lazy and pathetic of me to tie my fulfillment to temporary aspirations.

This isn’t some complain-y post where I drone on about the mysteries of unhappiness and how some of us are just built serious. Nay.

This entire post is about the great re-set. A super underrated ability every single human being possess, gifted to us by mother nature.

YOU CAN REINVENT YOURSELF AT ANY MOMENT.

I’ve always wanted purpose but what I failed to understand back then, purpose is not found it’s created.

I wanted my life to be full of awesome experiences, well those come from a shift in approach to the world, and that comes from an entirely new perspective.

So what caused all this misery?

A cynical attitude, perspective, and focus on negativity.

—So THAT is exactly where you need to start.

Rarely did I stop and appreciate what I had, and I had a lot. The whole, “it’s not enough” is just a garbage attitude that is easily changeable.

This is our superpower.

You don’t need to change who you are, you need to change how you are.

AND that’s entirely within your control.

To begin, you’ll want to shift your focus. Each day, start from a winning mindset. Focus on all you have, be thankful for where you are, and move forward positively– embracing what’s currently before you.

This isn’t easy. Your brain will want to revert and to stay the course you have to have some vision that excites you, about what your life could be. Write it down, feel it, look at it multiple times a day.

With this combination of gratitude and moving towards a new way of life, you will re-find what it means to live fully.

#StayFoolish

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The Opposites Game: Try Experimenting

Published July 10, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

I don’t know what kind of childhood you had and whether or not you can look back on it fondly, but hopefully you’re familiar with make-believe.

Kids are fluid.

We all started with the superpower of not caring, smoothly playing through obstacles, taking nothing personal, and best of all– we’re flexible.

As we aged, we cockily assumed that we knew all we needed to about the human experience– which then results in stiffness.

And now we’re here.

Adulthood.

Most of us have no clue what we want, find ourselves unhappy, and we’re confused about why we’re so dissatisfied.

How did we even get to this point?

The patterns of my life make one thing obvious, when I let go I succeed and when I hold on–not only do I not get what I want, but with the added feature of being extremely MISERABLE.

So, try this with me.

For the next 6 months, let go of all your ideas. Forget what you think you want to do, careers you’re interested in, success, all of it. Forget and be open.

During this time your only goal is to play, show up, and embrace every experience fully. In this state, you will definitely restart your life for the better and hit upon a new path.

Track this experiment in your phone, checking off each day.

Record any findings– how people respond to you? How you feel? etc.

Try it, let’s play together.

#FoolsGold

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Happiness Optimizers: Why More isn’t Better

Published July 9, 2021 by V

You think to be happier, you need to get a new job, so you start chasing new jobs and make the leap.

And then realizing you’re not as happy as you could be, you think you’d be happier if you had a new place.

So you look for a new place.

Maybe you get the place, maybe you don’t. Now months pass, and you think to yourself you know what: I need a new hobby…a new passion, this, that, and the other thing.

People who know I run this treadmill tell me it’s great– it always pushes you to be better. I’d argue the opposite.

Self-improving is strangely miserable when taken to this extreme, because rather than serving a goal, we’re optimizing ourselves in useless ways.

We need to be inspired in life by something other than our own happiness– we have to be driven by something bigger than ourselves.

Not everything needs to be “upgraded”.

I used to chase self-improvement thinking it’d lead to some insane happiness, a better life, a tougher more disciplined me.

Instead, it made me stiff, stuck, and critical of others who weren’t on the same wave.

And the funny thing is– cold showers didn’t improve my life. Meditation didn’t make more successful. Intermittent fasting didn’t sculpt my abs.

All the best “improvements” came from small changes, not glorified self discipline.

Daily writing led to a career change, swapping weight lifting for muay thai put me in better shape, eating balanced meals got me shredded more than any weird trend diet.

Self-improvement shouldn’t be a hobby, if it is you’ll be miserable.

You only have so much energy, you should put that in key areas you care about and as for everything else, just live.

#StayFoolish

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Isn’t it Ironic?

Published July 8, 2021 by V

Why is it that the more you want something, the less likely you are to have it? Well, desperation isn’t attractive to anyone… that, and making a big deal rarely helps individuals achieve.

I’ve made myself miserable with desire– always wanting more.

This was actually the majority of my life, I’d want this, then that, then onto the next. Always moving towards something grandiose, fantastical in nature, something to fly me out of the mundane.

The irony?

Wanting never led to more.

Yes, it pushes you to search, develop yourself, constantly try new things, but it keeps you dissatisfied with life, always empty, always craving, ungrateful.

My solution?

To cool down. I have friends who share my values, but not my personality. They’re far more chill, and being around them regulates my temperature.

This, and hobbies like muay thai and even writing.

I want to embrace my life– all we really have is today and a lot of us don’t have that, because we spit in the face of time by escaping it.

It’s ironic. Some of the best years of my life came when I completely let go of the search and just lived in the now. I wasn’t worried about creation, business, my plans, none of it.

I just played and enjoyed the moment, and thus created an awesome life.

So my new goal isn’t a goal, it’s a way of life.

Rather than drive myself insane with what I want, I’m leaning into the now and making the most of it. I’ll incorporate fun into everything I do, and still pursuing my goals… but that isn’t why I exist.

It’s just part of the journey.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Instead of dedicating your existence to pursuits, focus on living a helluva story by embracing every part of it.

#StayFoolish

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Identity > Habits: Want lasting change? Then change.

Published July 7, 2021 by V

Sometimes it really is so much simpler than we can even imagine. You sit there, pissed off at the shittiness of life, try new habits and practices only to fail.

You imagine it must be you, and you’re right but for the wrong reason.

I didn’t invent this, and neither did the author who wrote the best selling book on it, but if you can understand and embrace this– your life will change immediately.

Identity is everything.

It’s ONLY this. This is the reason you move backwards or forwards, form good or bad habits, succeed or fail… identity is the gps for the human mind, and for your entire life.

You might think its corny, but that story you tell yourself plays out every single day. In fact, our stories become our lives.

If I say to myself, “I’m a writer” and I keep identifying with being a writer, I begin to act as a writer. What happens? I end up writing daily, practicing my craft, conducting myself as a writer.

Had I said, I need to write or I want to write– maybe I do, maybe I don’t.

If I say to myself, “I’m a fighter, I train and care for my body the way a fighter would, and never miss a muay thai class because fighters don’t.

I’ve always formed new habits easily, but until recently only realized why.

I make them apart of my identity immediately. You keep saying you need to get healthy, and like that you never will. You don’t need to “get healthy”, that’s temporary. You need to become a healthy person.

So make it your identity. “I am that type of person who takes care of their health.”

If you think this is hokey- mystical crap, I can assure you it’s science.

Something happens to us when we make things personal. We become our habits, when they become our identity.

Your brain likes to hold onto the shitty version of you because you’ve trained it to. Saying, “that isn’t for me, or that just isn’t me” is TOXIC.

If you want to level up, grow, and gain a better life– it needs to become you, you need to become more.

How?

Simple. What do you want out of life? I want to be an entrepreneur who runs a successful advertising business, podcast, and newsletter.

Okay, great. So who is this person and what do they believe and practice daily- to achieve this life?

They are a student of human nature, welcome all challenges and adversity because they love it, and always put themselves in discomfort.

I’m the type of person who’s always putting myself out there, attacking my fears, and learning.

Try it, the only thing you’ll lose is misery.

#FoolAround

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Last Words: Rest In Peace

Published July 6, 2021 by V

It’s hard to believe it, but you’re really gone. A part of me thought you’d live forever, all those years of drug and alcohol abuse and not even a cold?

If there is a karma, you cheated her…. but why should she be different from the rest?

For all your flaws, I always admired how you handled pressure. Only you know the crazy shit you had going on in your life, but you never did break. If anything, that’s something I will take with me moving forward.

When I was young, and all I had for you was hate, unimaginable anger, detachment, people would tell me that one day I’d understand you.

I used to write those individuals off as idiots, what was there to understand?

You had issues, and you never overcame them. As angry as I was, even back then I knew, nothing was personal with you.

You didn’t do anything to anyone, you just existed the only way you knew how, and that indirectly happened to f**k everyone in your atmosphere.

Maybe it’s our culture, maybe it’s just how you and I were, but there was a similarity to us that made it impossible to ever get close. That was something I never wanted to admit, but something you’d see in me now.

I’m not going to lie and say I miss you.

But I want you to know, as brief as it was, I’m thankful you were in my life. Believe it or not, you helped shape me for the better.

I learned from our fights, from uncertainty, you helped bring out my bold, creative, and gutsy behavior.

You helped me learn to be alone, and to act accordingly.

And I did, and always do.

You lived like there was no tomorrow… finally you were right.

I’m not very traditional and I don’t know how much you know or don’t know about all that’s happened since we cut ties, but like you, I have my own strange belief system.

This is the closure that’s helped me and if there is an afterlife, maybe it’ll help you. Despite who you were, I will honor you by the way I live. I’m going to make the most of my life, continually build my character, and enrich the lives around me by becoming more than I am.

You had so much talent and potential, but you abused it. I’ll do the opposite.

We never were close, and death doesn’t change that. But I don’t have any hate in my heart, and I guess those people were right all those years ago– because while I don’t agree with you, I understand you.

I hope you found some kind of peace and if not, I hope it brings you peace knowing that I’ll never give into my own weakness, and that comes from you.

In the end, all we have is who we are.

Rest In Peace.

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Your Unfair Advantage

Published July 5, 2021 by V

Today, in our social justice world– we’re all concerned with equity, equality, this, that, and the other thing.

But when we’re job-hunting without the aide of our “Greek translation bachelors degree” we naturally might wonder, what the hell should we do for a living?

There’s plenty of ways to approach this. Some will go the “top hits” route and do what others recommend.

This might look like you becoming a real estate agent, having never studied or looked into the markets, having ZERO interest, and being a complete novice when it comes to sales.

But you landed here, because it’s trendy right now.

This is the opposite of the unfair advantage, instead it’s the quickest way to live a mediocre ass life.

And it’s what most will do.

To be fair, you weren’t dealt the absolute best education. We’re all taught the importance of following the pack in order to survive…. but what happens when the pack doesn’t?

Solo dolo time.

Anyways, back to the point of this post.

We all have things we are inclined for, yet it never occurs to any of us to look into these. I’m not talking about passion, only skill. If you’re good at it, you should monetize it.

Fact is, everyone’s got something.

Well, this is the key to your success.

Where do you add massive value? What haven’t you been taught that you excel at? Why do others go to you?

These are the important questions, not what’s your star sign? Or soul’s mission?

A lot of us are buying into bullshit. You’re literally resorting to toddler level thinking from desperation, which is giving rise to scammers, gurus, and a bunch of vampiric parasites who will suck you dry and leave you worthless.

But you always have an alternative.

Take it from someone who survived that route, and successfully made a comeback– GET practical.

Seriously.

Come back down to earth and pay attention to the NOW.

What skills do I naturally have? Where do I get high returns for my efforts?

Figure out your unfair advantage, and go all in on that. This is what gives birth to purpose and meaning, which is what’ll help remedy depression. In the end, the only way to have a fulfilling life is NOT to law of attract it, it’s to BUILD IT.

Stop being so spiritual, and start being practical.

#FoolAround

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Licking Wounds: Listen to what you’re saying…

Published July 4, 2021 by V

It feels like it was another lifetime ago, but I once had a professor who said we all reeked of who we were.

For a long time, I didn’t see this but now having my thoughts documented throughout the years… that, and a little more self awareness– it’s obvious.

What I’ve noticed is your tongue naturally moves towards your wounds. During a conversation, assuming the two parties are close, both will start to talk about what’s on their mind.

AND IT NEVER CHANGES.

You are what you are. Since my toddler-trodding days, as a child who didn’t know shit about anything– even then, the only thing I ever cared about was my passion and purpose.

And today? Yup. In blogs, journals, and conversations– the thing I’m working out while I speak– my f**king passion, help me understand UNIVERSE!!!

It’s always the same. It’s the same for me, you, and every human being on the planet. We lick our wounds too.

The key to you understanding yourself on the deepest level, and upgrading yourself and your life, is this: Pay attention to what you keep talking about.

For some it’ll be relationships, for others things, but everyone does it.

To finally be able to see and hear yourself is a superpower. In doing so, you can cut the self-improvement crap, and immediately work on what’s actually bothering you.

What’s my obsession with purpose, calling, and passion?

I lacked meaning. I wanted something to dedicate my life to. When I realized this, I made progress.

For you it’ll likely be totally different.

No need to read about it or wonder, as you talk to people throughout the day… as soon as you end that day- reflect.

Where did my tongue go?

Do this, and gain the thing you’re looking for.

#FoolAround

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Wake Up: What I finally came to understand about Chasing Dreams…

Published July 3, 2021 by V

Hey Fool.

There’s always a lot of selling going on.

Ideas, products, courses, beliefs, pretty much everything we’ve got we were sold, either by someone else or ourselves.

What I’ve come to finally realize is my idea of success was TOXIC. No clue how it took me this long to see it, but it’s crystal clear to me now.

Chasing dreams is a bad idea.

We should also define this before I end up sounding like Mr. Scrooge.

By chasing dreams, I mean the individual who only a few years ago realized they love singing, but never practice, sound like an elephant giving birth, and isn’t studying the craft or trying to get better.

We laugh at them on reality shows, but in truth… we’re not so different.

How is you wanting to be a millionaire unalike? Are you working 24/7 on a side business? Are you studying the greats in your free time. A lot of you haven’t made $10 side hustling and you’re talking about smoking Elon.

I’m not saying it isn’t doable, I’m saying chasing dreams leads to a nightmare life.

We have to be practical.

All fulfillment comes from skills, actual skills… learned skills…

This is what led to my life becoming awesome. No manifestation, law of “it comes to me because I am a creator”, none of that.

I became the person I wanted to be, by DEDICATING TO IT.

I didn’t dream it up, I chased skills, discipline, and gradually strengthened myself. Dreams are like sugar highs– maybe fun in the moment, but you will crash.

I recommend pursuing goals. Goals are actionable, practical, and will level you TF up when pursued properly.

But what do I know?

#StayFoolish

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The Game of Momentum: Why your goals should be smaller

Published July 2, 2021 by V

It only takes a little to change a lot.

Looking at my life, it’s weird to see that the biggest life altering results came from incredibly small adjustments. Starting a blog led to a new career as a copywriter, training in muay thai led to a new social life, confidence, passion, and improved focus. Listening to one 30 minute video on keeping a positive mindset each morning– would lead to me performing better in my role and embracing life’s challenges.

I used to “All-or-Nothing” my life… and that’s why nothing always happened.

Life is the sum total of these little moments. It’s a game of momentum.

If you crave change, start as SMALL as possible. Instead of wondering what you’ll do? Where you’ll go, or what’s the next BIG thing for you… ask yourself, what tiny thing can I do today to move in that direction?

And JUST do that, don’t concern yourself with anything else. If you don’t know the answer or what you need to do– JUST PICK. You don’t have to love it, just be interested enough to learn.

Want to lose weight? Don’t even focus on training, cut out snacks or walk for an extra 5 minutes.

Want to find a new career? Hold off on quitting entirely, and find a small and easy hobby you can do in your free time.

The answer is always small… that’s why we initially miss it. You’re looking for lightning to strike, for what? All you need is a tiny baby step towards something… you don’t even have to know what it is. That’s the best part about this law.

When I started my blog, it wasn’t this site by the way– I had no intention of becoming a writer, I didn’t have a clue where it would lead.

I did it just to stick to something, and it had HUGE results.

That’s all any of us need to do. We just need small things incorporated into our daily lives and without fail, they will change.

If you’re stuck, lost, or unsure of yourself, before you deem yourself hopeless– ADD one small thing (something new) to your daily ritual for 30 days.

See where it leads, infallibly so, it will lead you somewhere…

#FoolAround

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All We Have Is Right Now

Published July 1, 2021 by V

A lot of our spiritual suffering comes from imagination. I hadn’t even really noticed how miserable I drive myself daily, all because I’m thinking about things I don’t have that I think want…

…thinking…thinking…thinking.

Never did I stop just to enjoy everything in front of, and that’s the real failure.

Numb yourself to pain, and you become numb to joy.

I’m learning to open myself to it all, to play, to have fun and live in the moment. In truth, my life is awesome right now. I’ve got so many things going for me, and sure– default brain wants to say, “You need this, that, stacks…” and I do want those things, but I won’t suffer for them.

I’m enjoying my life as I move towards them.

I don’t think you suffering will help you achieve anything. Actually, I liken it to dating… no one is attracted to desperate. If pursue desire with desperation, you’re just that single dude that everyone finds second-hand discomfortable.

Don’t be that guy.

All we have is today, right now.

Enjoy it, the irony is when you learn to do this and let go of bullshit desire– you inevitable gain the life you want.

All progress in my life came as a result from letting go of my ginormous dreams, and just living in the now.

Try it, you have nothing to lose… and everything to gain.

#FoolAround

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