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just FOOL around til something happens…

Take it serious and you lose.

Nothing lasts, not even misery. And since none of this will matter in the end, we might as well loosen up. You don’t have big decisions in retrospect, why suffer?

The only attitude to keep is one of play. Fool around. Guess. Do something just to see what happens, explore.

Nothing is a big deal.

The only thing you accomplish by mentally building up your problems is anxiety, maybe an early onset panic attack… everyone is cool being a side character in their own movie.

That’s weird to me.

Nothing is real until it happens, so why think about fictitious possibilities? Most of us are free to do whatever we want, but we stay doing nothing. Probably because most of us are afraid of the unknown, but the answer to that– is get over it.

Life really isn’t complicated.

When you’re in your head, you suffer. When you’re out in the world, you grow.

Theres your solution.

I was doing it wrong too. But my focus isn’t scale, dreams, and all the Freudian desires advertising has me convinced I need to be fulfilled.

I just want a life, a full life, with a helluva story and the only way to reach that is to fool around. People who take things too seriously are a poison. I was one of them.

They’ll switch the genre of your movie just by being near you. Your comedy/action thriller is converted into a lame soap opera drama— one that no one, not even you, wants to watch.

Since we’ve established nothing matters, and that’s a good thing– where will you go? What will you do?

It’s 2022.

How will you make this your best?

I’m going for it. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?

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Miserable People in Paradise…

If Heaven is so great, how the hell did all these miserable people make it passed the gate?

I think each of us has some dirt inside, a tiny part within that produces a little blood-flow to the crotch area, for every time you’re an asshole.

Problem is when you get a little more than just blood flow, instead this becomes your method of existing.

I’m actually pro-humanity, so before I go off on people, understand– I’m coming from the goodness of my heart.

When did we set our default to Scrooge Mcduck?

What no one talks about is the fun behind meanness. When you’re an “asshole” you’re naturally rebellious, put yourself first, and become a leader… in a way– not one who can lead others, but you stop following and looking for acceptance, to some extent.

Meanness is addicting.

The problem is, it makes you miserable, robs you of joy and new experiences, oh, and no one wants to be around you so you die alone, grumpy, and stupid— while being full of regret.

No doubt, you’ll need a dash of darkside to combat it in others, but don’t live with that step forward.

My approach has been to force myself passed my own barriers.

I think it’s dumb that we hold back. It’s stupid what we get hung up on, and the shit we talk about is unimportant– yet we’re making life decisions based on these things.

In a world of idiots, I’m choosing to be the one that enjoys themselves.

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My 2022, checkpoint.

We’re not supposed to know… there, I just saved you years of bullshitting.

You know one of the biggest blocks for me? I wanted to know exactly where everything was going. It wasn’t enough to kinda like something, or be semi-interested.

If this thing didn’t lead EXACTLY to the thing I thought I wanted, well, it wasn’t worth even entertaining in the present.

And what’d that shite mentality lead to– life passing right by.

Years of being stuck in the same place, all because you wouldn’t act outside of your self imposed instruction manual.

But, then you did.

And now we’re here. Where is here?

Openness– my new GPS.

Being loose led me to exploring new interests and now I’ve found a definite one that I enjoy working on, so that’s 2022. I’m going to develop my skill and build a body of work, showcasing what I can do.

I’m ready to play– to do things for the sake of doing them.

I’m going to take on everything I’ve ever been interested and I’m going to stay loose. Life is easier open, it’s also abundant. That mentality led to way more success, so that’s whats happening this year and the rest.

The only thing I would have changed going back in time? I would have this mentality every year, every day, every second.

So, for 2022– build yourself, build your name, and most of all–play.

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(Change is the Law) What’s happened since…

I remember having all these conditions growing up– self-imposed rules, to reach my potential (like no dating, fun having, or play). I romanticized life, and so it never matched my own ideal— which made me miserable.

Here’s the irony: The more I let go and opened myself up to the world, the clearer things became— and naturally came together.

My brain does this thing, where as soon as it sees something as potentially useful to my life and success, it wants to marry it. It wants me to cut everything out of my life that’s not that– and go solo into this one thing.

That sounds like focus, but it really isn’t. See, it also shades everything I see as people are against me. Loved ones too. And that, I can only win by destroying my life as I know it and isolating myself.

It’s my way of forcing my own hand into some kind of solitary-success-confinement.

Has it ever led to good results? HAAA. The only thing this ever did was make me depressed and angry at the world.

That, AND it prematurely optimizes the wrong goals, so you play out the wrong thing and miss what was actually for you.

If I had to give younger me advice, or you if you’re struggling with this– it’s let go. Open yourself to anything, let yourself sees what comes your way, what sparks your interest, and what projects you’d like to involve yourself with.

It works out better than you ever could make it.

It’s bizarre but its universal law.

I enjoy writing scripts, and now I’m going down this path— lots of opportunity. But just like with scripts, so too with life.

It all writes itself, when you play.

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NeverMore: Death to the daily blogs

These blogs started out as a way for me to work out what was on my mind… that and I wanted to learn how to stick with something no matter how I felt.

Mission accomplished.

It’s been one year of posting/writing online and I’ve become a writer, and publisher.

Since then, these posts have taken a turn… down hill.

You won’t hurt my feelings, and I’ll be the first to say it– most of these posts suck. They’re just cleverly packaged bullshit. It isn’t that I don’t want to produce value, but forcing yourself to make something every morning within an hour limits you.

With that said, the daily blogs are over.

Make no mistake, I’ll still be writing. Only now, I’m posting every Sunday, at least in the beginning.

Should things change, I’l change.

But now, I want to work on producing meaningful and well thought out work.

So be on the look out for awesomeness, starting next week.

Till then,

–Fool

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Politicking Promotions: Be Yourself at home and no where else…

Hey MF.

If life is like a game, why can’t you win?

See, In our modern world, we’re all playing a game– each and every one of us.

The game has less to do with what you stand for, and more to do with where you stand. To succeed, you need votes in our democratic system. You need the support of a tribe– one that you might call your own.

But they’re not your tribe.

As unfortunate as you might think it is, everyone is playing games. Most people don’t believe what they protest, don’t care about others problems, and unless they stand to benefit– probably don’t give a shit about having a relationship with you.

Hopefully, your small circle of family and friends is excluded.

But the rest of the world? Let’s just say winter is always coming.

You take this personally, but you shouldn’t. If you understand this, it makes it so easy for you to advance yourself and your goals.

Want to partner up with someone? Consider what drives them, what does this person want, what are they desperate for? Some of you will read this and think it machiavellian, which is cute. You’re a hopeless romantic.

This is relationship management, not manipulation.

It’s scary how much easier life gets, when you stop taking everyone and everything so seriously.

It aint serious.

You somehow think democrats are after your freedom, or republicans are after your… birth control? I actually don’t know what they want.

Point is, no one cares. No side cares.

Try to stop being a sheep for a second and remember, those parties are just bullshit organizations that make a living parasiting off society. They need you angry to make money, but even “your own side” doesn’t give a shit about you.

So, what the hell is the point of all this?

Here it is: To succeed in life, we all must play our own games. The game you choose to play, depends on your goals and what kind of life you’d like. BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US HAS TO PLAY. Life is a trade off, so what is it you want? Decide. Free yourself up, then go play.

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Lady Gaga had it right… born this way

You have no say in what excites you, it either does or it doesn’t. If we take this logic, how the hell would you then go and do things that already feel dead and passionless?

You’re an observer.

Your only job is to stop judging yourself and let go of the outcome– no one likes a try hard, especially the universe.

With that in mind, heres what it looks like: When you interact with what is meant for you– your entire biological system lights up– you’re excited, engaged, and straight up can’t sleep.

The funny thing is, we completely miss it.

We disqualify what we love, in hopes we find something more complicated… like a long distance relationship.

My senior year of HS is when I first fell in love with writing scripts and directing them. I left that and didn’t go back to it til now….. YEARS LATER.

I guess I had to be sure, now I am.

You’re born this way. Quirks and all.

You are who you are, and your only job is to follow that unique genetic makeup and see what it is that lights you up.

Phuck your ideas, follow the biology.

What gives you energy?

It’s not intellectual, it just is what it is. Don’t judge it or think about, explore it.

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Dart boarding my wavering brain… why can’t you stick?

I love writing so much, I could never do it again.

Do you see your competition? Ever look and see other things you could do?

If you’re anything like me, even a remotely similar personality, then stilling your wavering mind will be your greatest obstacle.

Currently, I’m in a great position… on paper.

I’m financially rev’d up, career growing, and in an environment where I have leverage and the freedom to innovate.

And with all those things considered, I’m painfully bored.

I’m trying to incorporate other things into my life to not phuck up the course I’m on, because ultimately my goals are no longer tied to pleasure– rather autonomy. So I understand, boredom is part of the game.

But shit… it’s painful.

Everyday another battle. Refocusing the mind. Re-reminding yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Re-remembering the past, what pursuing delusion does… outsiders sound philosophical, but they’re almost always broke. That’s fine if you don’t care about money, but I always did– so not an option for me.

Why did I get ahead within a year? Because I left dreamland and pursued practical. I worked on something, each day, by myself– which resulted in a new career.

Given my personality and the weaknesses that come with it, the universe only rewards practical.

Meaning I can’t “All or Nothing” anything.

You have to know your triggers. You have to know where your mind cheats you.

My mind doesn’t like to build, it likes to roam. My life and fulfillment however, depend on me building.

So, when my bullshit mind plays that movie of exotic travel and excitement, all I have to do is remember the bank accounts and what really happens when I listen to that.

You will get ahead to the extent you can see reality.

My spiritual muscle needing development is building.

Yours might be self-care.

Maybe it’s being alone, or development.

I don’t know, we’re all different.

But you DO KNOW what it is, when you’re real with yourself.

Attack that first, and life bends to your will.

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Free roaming is only fun in between main missions

Ever play those free roaming video games? They have those amazing graphics and to some extent, imitate reality?

I used to love the free roaming part.

Especially if the level I had to pass was hard and annoying– you could just steal cars and race cops (Grand Theft Auto).

In the video game of life theres a similar setting equivalent to free roam, float. Floating. Not moving. Not progressing. Avoiding the mission.

A lot of us choose to play the game like this… never fully playing.

The real challenge here is when you get so off course, how the hell do you find the main mission? How do you get back on track?

Unlike video games, it’s not going to be as simple as following an icon on a map.

The way life reveals that guiding icon is through building. The Universe rewards making things… either happen, or from nothing.

If you can move and take on a challenging new role– do it. If you’re unfulfilled and need a side project, build something. It doesn’t have to be a total obsession or passion, just work on something, even casually.

Movement leads to the course.

But whatever you do, don’t convince yourself that your game is just a free roam– theres no such thing.

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Again and Again… it always rains but you can dance or cry

Above all, you need to know yourself.

When it comes to this topic, there are two types of online creators. There are the successful entrepreneurial people who say, “phuck your past, don’t identify with failed behaviors.”

Then there are the people who speak to psychology and human behavior who take the side of, “your past reveals who you are.”

Both these approaches have their place, but the way I go about it is a combination.

It’s hard for me not to fall for my weaknesses. I know the movie my mind plays isn’t real, but that doesn’t stop it from playing and it doesn’t discourage me from watching… I always enjoyed fiction more than anything.

Does your movie change?

Because my movie remains constant, but I’m right to question whether or not it’s for me and It’s the same for you.

One thing is for certain. Dreams change. Goals change.

If my past shows anything, it’s that I can be a storm. Because of that, I know my income MUST be independent from a job or career. This isn’t an option for me.

Instability is my constant.

This is where it’s important for you, knowing yourself. I’m creating an insurance policy because of my storms and allowing myself to live good despite them.

That’s the point of online content, and you can find ways to make it easier for you to stick.

No one is hopeless.

We’re not taught alternative paths. That’s all it is.

They teach you to take the 9-to-5 and settle down, that cookie cutter lifestyle doesn’t fit most people and today, it doesn’t have to. You can’t stop the storms. I’ve tried everything for that… but you can decide what you’ll do during them.

Your best bet is to let them pass. I choose to rain dance, rather than cry.

You know what you’re like. Build your life for you to win, regardless of your struggle, that’s something we all need to do.

I choose to get ahead, not by not having my disadvantages or pretending I’m not who I am– but by seeing obstacles for what they are, obstacles. Life is chock-full. Everything, absolutely everything is solvable.

Don’t ever give up on yourself, carve your own path.

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Fool me once… deja voo

If you could print a receipt of everything on your mind and you stored it in a shoebox– you’d notice other than the date, the items stay the same.

This is why we never break free.

Your mind plays tricks on you– it has worse cravings than a college stoner, irrational fears worse than a tantrumed toddler, and it resets by the next morning without your permission like a windows update.

So the game you’re really playing is overcoming your settings (mattering mind).

I’ll give you mine as an example. The hardest part is seeing it in yourself, once you do that, then you can work on overcoming it.

I always crave change.

This looks like me obsessing with progress, but there aren’t any metrics for this default setting of mine. So what this really looks like is my mind playing some bullshit fantasy of me moving states, getting a new job, new circle of friends and starting over. The trigger is boredom.

I’ve done this.

I’ve acted on it in the past so I know how this plays out.

Your mind says it leads to success, but what really happens is you throw away all your opportunity and progress to then start from zero.

Your internal movie is counterproductive to your goals.

DON’T TRUST MIND.

My goal is freedom and independence, no longer needing a job, and being fulfilled with the work that I do— all of this comes from building.

To get ahead of my default wiring, I withdraw my fear coins and deposit them in this new account: By not submitting and building one thing, you will never have anything that gives you autonomy or freedom.

It’s this simple.

You’ll still use fear, we’re all motivated by it. Only now, you’ll reframe what your mind is saying and leverage it to achieve your goals– your real goals, the ones that are nonnegotiable and never change.

Before you decide anything, you need to see that receipt– the one that shows you where your mind messes with your head.

Either journal or voice record yourself for 30 days.

Just dump whats on your mind, and you will see it.

Stop having deja vu’s… don’t repeat the same day.

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Your parallel universe is the greener grass…

Ass hurt?

Regardless of what side of the fence your feet hang, sitting there is always pointy… don’t get stuck hanging by your pants.

Get off the fence (asshole’s advice) but its the best advice.

Nothing happens sitting on the fence, and thing is– it most likely isn’t as a big a deal as you’re making it.

A lot of us want change– “more life, more errythang‘ (Drizzy Drake). So how does it happen that years pass, and we’re where we are, doing the same old same old?

We think of change as these big all or nothing moments, like moving to a different state, taking on an entirely different career, etc. And maybe that is what you need, but in my experience that type of change always led to me starting back at ZERO.

Lasting Change is incremental.

Use the momentum you have, and make slight improvements, ones that make your life slightly more enjoyable by the day.

So comes my 2022 blueprint.

What small changes would make my current building more enjoyable and engaging?

Figure out what tiny, small, and easy changes you can make. They have to be small otherwise you’ll end up not doing anything or doing it wrong.

Sometimes change is just an edit, not a yes or no life altering decision.

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Smoke Gas, Puff Dreams

Thanos had some timeless Buddha wisdom because your Universe needs balancing.

It’s one thing to make plans or go and get some, but what if you don’t know what else to do? Maybe you don’t have specific dreams or goals and you just want a more fulfilling life.

If the answer is C- all of the above, then you qualify for this 2022 experiment.

For this next year, you’ll temporarily give up all the BS ideas you entertain but never act on, and instead you’ll practice the habit of GAS (movement).

Instead of wondering what the hell you need to spend your time doing, every weekend you’ll try out other routes. I’ll be doing this with you, so no need to make it complicated.

I’m a writer, and don’t get me wrong– I do enjoy writing. But there are other aspects in me that are unfulfilled and need fulfilling. For example, I’m active, extroverted, and socially inclined— writing doesn’t address any of those traits. Which means my other project MUST.

Whatever thing you pick– it has to identify what’s currently being neglected right now, and it has to address that.

If you’re at a job where you have no time for yourself, yours has to be individual– something you can do by yourself and something that gives you energy.

You don’t have to know what that is– just pick the lowest hanging fruit. Start by trying something small, and easy… in fact, the name of this game is small and easy.

It’s got to be the path of least resistance, we’re trying to gradually build up these explorer muscles.

So, how to start?

First thing to keep in mind: Research is your enemy. It complicates things and it tricks your brain making you feel productive, even though you’ve accomplished absolutely nothing.

Secondly: Think of your best days where you currently are– manufacture that mood. You need to be playful, approach these potentially fun things with that mood.

Friday is when you’ll plan Saturday. We don’t need great details or any of that, just know where you’re going and what you’re going to try.

Thinking of opening a gym? Saturday, go hang out at a small independent biz. Wanna start a nonprofit, Saturday– just visit one. Movement is key here, just go.

If theres something there, you’ll feel it and then explore it. If not, move on.

Smoke gas– puff dreams.

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Your Gut Feeling is hunger not a psychic vision…

Hello students of tarot cards and you whoreascope witches.

You’ve likely had this experience.

Something and something is about to happen, a weird sensation in your gut shocks the “pay attention” signal throughout your entire being– which you nervously do, and then as if by magik you end up avoiding the thing, thus dodging catastrophe.

A few of these moments– and you start to trust that gut instinct entirely.

Now, like a second brain, you’re explaining the stupid shit that you do with “my gut, it feels right.”

Uh huh.

I get it… this was once me. A few eerily real feeling dreams, and I’m ready to wake up and make plans.

But your gut is still a gut… not a crystal ball.

I’m not here to explain away the odd dreams that happen 5 days in a row, or the angel numbers you wake up to. Some things aren’t meant to be explained or studied.

I’m taking on the side of trying to manufacture magical moments into your life… like seeing 4:44 on the clock (just the one time) and then saying it’s the universe demanding change… based on that single moment…

I don’t know, seems reckless even for me.

You know what else figuratively lives in your gut? Desire. Grandiosity. The hunger for achievement.

That’s no small thing, so how can you be sure you’re not mixing “I really wanna” with “I’ve got a feeling” ?

Well, you’ll know if you phucked up the cake when you taste it.

You have to try it, and try to do it safely without committing. Rather than moving states, transferring dreams and goals in one swoop, try it on… on a very small scale.

If you like a type of writing, do it on your own– develop, where you are. Whatever your thing is, try the cake first.

It’s so easy to want something to be true, but fulfillment comes from what is not from what you’d like.

Test every instinct.

Eat before you read that fortune cookie… it could save you.

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Donning the mask& cape: Becoming a Person of Power

For the most part, we’re free to do whatever.

We’re lucky enough to be born to a time where you don’t have to work in your fathers watch factory, or apprentice at a printing press, or be a stay at home whatever– you can take your role into your own hands.

Most people don’t know what to do with extra freedom.

That’s not a real problem, but it’s what is causing your spiritually shitty mood.

When you’re not connected to what you’re meant to do– life feels wrong. You’ll feel like you constantly have to distract yourself, either with friends, work, entertainment. You’ll feel like you can’t sit with yourself– because you can actually feel it when you’re alone.

I intellectually like online business, but it drains my soul in practice.

If you ask me– do you enjoy writing on the internet as a career? I’d say yes because I’d be thinking of all the awesome benefits. But am I fulfilled ?– well, let’s look at my actions.

I constantly run away to do random bullshit on the weekends, I’m always looking to talk to someone or do something outside of my work, and when I’m on the ol’ laptop-a-roo I’m bored out of my mind.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for the job I have as it’s an excellent way to make money. My point here is don’t stop where you are because its comfortable.

I recently came across another path, luckily. This suits me much more– not intellectually, but spiritually.

That sounds stupid, but hear me out. When you find what you’re meant to do, the need to distract yourself with side quests disappears.

Suddenly, I don’t give a shit about hanging out.

That, and I weirdly feel more myself. The work itself connects to something deeper inside of you– that’s how you can tell if you’re on route to your destined destination.

The challenge with this for you is no one can tell you how to find it.

You’ll have to figure it out on your own. What I can tell you is this– start with the ideas you always revisit.

The key to getting where you really want to go is somewhere in there.

& remember, never take it serious.

You lose as soon as you lose the play.

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Broken Records Suck– But binging your favorite movie is different

Sup MF.

If you can turn down that BTS record, you’ll notice a movie playing in the background– this ones based on what could be a true story.

We’ve got things we kind-a like, kind-a want, kind-a think about, but no real commitment.

Kind-a won’t cut it. Your lame kind-a goals are an intellectual kind– which means you had to convince yourself to do it. Those aren’t real goals, they’re backed by the rational mind… what it takes is desire.

For most things, in fact almost everything, the mind is a broken record.

It plays the same hurt, dreams, aspirations, excuses, etc. It’s always repeating and we hear a new sound each time because we experience different every go around.

There’s not much to be gained from a broken record– other than sameness, which you don’t want… you really don’t want.

But there is a sameness that you ought to pay attention to.

A movie the mind pulls you into– but you try not to watch for too long. It’s a recurring dream, while awake. That thing you always entertain in the back of your mind, but some how fear.

It’s completely normal to fear it– it’s a real dream, it’s supposed to scare you. The reason it does is because you can’t keep your current life and have it.

And that type of uncertainty makes you shaky.

But the alternative is a passionless lifeless existence.

Which… that sound like an alternative to you?

You come alive in those moments of film– seeing it in others. When you interact or see people who resemble something to your movie, you’ll feel it.

It’s your job to give birth to that movie.

That’s why you’re here.

There’s nothing else.

The movie that keeps playing— make it. Record it. Do it.

Stop convincing yourself. Pay attention to what your mind keeps playing, at first, you’ll only see a glance. But when you get good at it, you’ll start to see enough to only see it.

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Side Characters Play Side Missions: Don’t Give Up On #1

Your reading glasses are on your head… stop looking for them.

When you hear someone say they’re taking a break, leaving, starting anew, all of it with the goal of “finding themselves”, what the hell does that even mean?

A better question, how the phuck did you lose yourself?

What these soul-explorers are looking for is their values. Confidence, self-awareness, fulfillment, it comes through embodying the values you’re born to. And you were born to them.

Mistake #1 is you think you can just pick and choose.

You incarnated into this world as an already thing– a thing with a unique combination of natural inclinations and desires so why the hell would you cheat on that?

Let me make it easier, when you look to someone else and copy their path– you’re deciding to leave your mission and story to go be a background character in theirs.

You won’t be an actor if you don’t have any lines, and extras never do.

How does this happen anyway? Socialization baby. Growing up, they wash the individuality out of us because if we stand out, we die (figuratively, could be literally… depends on the country).

Once you DO make it out of the prerequisites of modern family, you have to return to who you are—- but damn it’s been a while. So comes the “finding yourself” age crisis.

This used to happen mid life, but if social media is good for anything- it’s revealing thoughts of a generation, and we’re losing ourselves younger these days.

So, do what you hate or do something for the wrong reasons– and be/stay a side character.

When you’re watching a movie, you don’t even notice the extras. They don’t have any lines, they exist just for context, to make the setting more believable. DON’T be an extra.

THIS IS YOUR MOVIE.

You’re free to play any way you want. I know, we all have responsibilities– but one of them is uncovering what you’re meant to do, and living that out. Actually this is TOP responsibility.

Here’s a challenge if you’re up for not sinking in sadness.

For the next 30 days (dated and in a notebook) write letters to yourself.

Every day, write down and answer:

  • what bothers me most?
  • what makes time go by faster?
  • whats fun?
  • what burns me out?

You can find yourself without going anywhere, in fact, theres no where to go. Uncover you, then play the movie as you were meant to.

—Fool Out

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She can’t keep her hands off me: Lady Luck thinks the real me is hot AF…

Hey MF.

How’s it going?

Are you moving towards acceptance or are you still struggling to change the things about yourself you can’t stand?

The more your life reflects what you’re like– the greater your chances of success.

In other words, you don’t have to change at all… in fact, you shouldn’t. Instead, you need to maximize your chances of success by finding environments that closely match your nature.

Our instincts always point to something being wrong with us, then we sit there trying to edit ourselves– but you didn’t design your biology.

Lady Luck is attracted to authenticity.

Our only job is to maximize each day, and to really do that, all you have to do is be the most you.

Like martial arts? Find various routines, try a bunch of new styles and gyms.

Like building? See what projects excite you right now that you could potentially attach yourself to.

If you like something, do it.

She always comes around when she sees someone fully themselves. It’s her thing, and she can’t help herself.

If you want any kind of good life, you need to start small, and start adding things you enjoy into your day-to-day.

Also, no one is attracted to someone who takes themselves too seriously. Lighten up, loosen up, and play.

–Another MF

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I Shot My Angel In a Place of Worship…

When I pray, I become prey.

Vulnerability is strength but not yours.

What if the “right” shoulder isn’t the right one to turn to? You’re probably familiar with the angel and devil on the shoulder concept, but angel in real life is who you should be afraid of.

The things we habitually do, those are the things that phuck us up. It’s not the risks we think of taking, or the new paths we might try, no. It’s our bullshit saviors (more on that in a bit).

If you want to get ahead in life– you have to shoot your angel. Everyones will look different too, so how can you be sure?

Your angel is a self-protecting, elbow-hugging, delusion thriving, karen-type-of-parent, who used to exist to keep you safe. But safe is no longer sound, especially for personal growth.

So let’s get practical.

How and Why did I shoot my Angel?

First, heres a little bit about the fucker. My angel, if you’re familiar with mbti is Ne. Think of it as a muscle in the brain that is overdeveloped, which means for the most part you can’t see yourself using it.

And I never did.

Ne is a consuming function. It has me waking up at 3 am to search the internet and read up on human behavior. Random things about things– a jerk off muscle that likes patterns and is against building. The problem is not the muscle itself, but by overusing it– you starve the other muscles, and that spells DOOM.

Ne doesn’t build shit.

The more opportunities I see in the world, the more I keep seeing and want to chase. This creates a never ending loop of never building shit.

After years, only then could I see I did this. It took being typed by professionals who first made me aware of this, then my friend who sent me all of our texts– where I could see my random all over the place thinking day by day.

It was a level of cringe that makes you want to cover yourself up.

And after having my mind blown seeing how I actually am for the first time, I loaded up the holy trinity and laid out my angel.

I stopped listening.

I stopped believing in my natural responses.

They’re not real.

And then all of a sudden Morpheus appeared, and offered me some color coded drugs…

But without an angel what the hell do you do? For all of us, it’s about developing your neglected functions. For me, it’s sitting and building. For you, it might be developing yourself– skills, and learning.

It’s different for all of us, and its hard to learn what it is.

What kicked all this off was journaling, you have to start there. Even if it’s not writing, record. Find a way to track yourself and then you’ll see.

You’ll see the delusional games the mind plays.

And only then, can you get ahead in life– because success is about seeing reality.

The Universe rewards those who play in real life, so get out of your head. Good luck, happy Angel Hunting.

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Objective Reality Says You Suck, Now What?

This is what it feels like to have your mind blown.

For the first time in my life, I saw objective reality. Me, not as I imagine, not as I want to be, but as I am.

And I am what I so disliked about certain “other people”. The over-blasting, over consuming, extrovert– who, rather than building one thing and focusing, just mind jerks all over the place with fictional cunning schemes that will never happen.

Crazy.

I can’t believe how easily I fell for it.

But my concern right now is how to get better of it. What we know is this, it’s automatic. Triggered by bullshit ideas of success– thats the why. For some its curiosity (person who I never want to be like) for you it’s success. Why doesn’t matter, we have different drivers, but the same personality.

I encourage you to meet with yourself. You probably already have, and haven’t noticed. That’s really what kicked all this off. A few years back, before I was a writer and had anything going for me– I met this individual in one of my College Literature classes.

He was A LOT like me, only much older. In a way, it was like meeting future me. At the time, I didn’t want to see it– especially since I saw this individual as a loser. He even warned me, mostly with advice of what I’ll want to do and put in place to ensure my life is a success, I didn’t listen.

This guy was annoying.

He thought he was smarter than everyone, always debated others, and always had some new scheme to make money– that he would never actually follow through with.

He was all over the place, all the time.

The only reason I hung out with him was because despite being a manchild, he was intelligent. He never took things personal, was playful, and could laugh at himself and others, while still being objective.

I remember thinking what a waste, someone bright who can’t stick to something to save their life.

That was years ago, but only a week ago– I looked just like him.

He was right, and I was wrong. We’re A LOT alike and just the other day I saw it. I saw myself exactly as I am, no different from him.

For a brief moment, I might as well have been him.

I overcame the psychological immune system and was initiated into objective reality. And whats reality say?

You kinda suck.

You’re all over the place, always going on flights of fantasy, always imagining something new to entertain that restless nature.

You are the version of your type that you can’t be.

Which is great. Wholeheartedly, this is great. Now that I see, I can get better of it. And the answer was what I found before, but it’s far easier to stick with the certainty of reality guaranteeing failure if I don’t.

Mastery is and always will be the only answer.

Time + Skills > Dreams = Success

Doing whats in front of you, and going all in.

That mind-blow job was exactly what I needed because scarier than boredom, is becoming someone who can never build.

And that was the only real threat for me.

Wanna see yours?

It’s the person you cringe around the most…

look.

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