Tag: SelfHelp

“Trust your gut”

Bet you’ve heard that a lot, and looking back, sure– there were tons of times it was almost psychic like how true it ended up being.

But relying on your gut gets tricky, for one, it’s not something you can summon in times of need.

Ever notice when you’re feeling poopy– tired, overworked, apathetic, you can’t just go “C’mon dammnit, GUIDE ME HIGHER SELF” ?

I mean you could, but that rumble isn’t a sign of anything beyond you needing a snack break.

The problem with the gut– intuition, knowing without knowing, the problem with all of it is it’s unreliable.

Not just with its inconsistency, but at times (if not most times) it’s completely wrong.

Let me explain that for a sec–

I consider myself pretty intuitive. To this day, I still get the unexplainable dreams followed by deja vu moments, the itchy palms before a payday, and the ringing of the ears before a phone call.

On top of that, I’ve always been a believer of the weird.

I don’t know, maybe my ancestors played with spells or maybe we all have this voodoo juju crap in our dna– but when it comes to the material world, this shit is useless and you should leave it fast.

What they don’t tell you about the gut– it hurts more than it helps.

Human beings need reasons, and a lot times, thats what that gut is… a reason, an excuse, usually something to justify the stupid action we’re about to commit.

“I woulda bit my tongue, but they needed to know that was stupid…”

I’m all for adding spice to life. The unexplainable is cool but it has its place, where a lot of us get stuck is we start believing TOO much, and as result– we limit our own free will.

If I believe I’m meant to be a movie director, I close myself off from other options– ones that might be (and in this case are) more suited for me.

If my gut (or delusional brain) play this same recurring fantasy where I live in hollywood hills, race a porsche around the midnight streets of LA, and do big money deals– I’m inclined to ONLY want that.

You want it, but is that what’s right for you?

Given your actual personality and who you are, is that you?

See, I’ve since learned that I only wanted the fantasy not the actual thing. Because in my free time, am I learning about directing? Shit No. Am I making movies? I exist in commercial breaks. But I want it for some reason? Yeah—- you want the ESCAPE.

That’s your gut.

If you want to get ahead, live a life that actually has meaning to you– forget all that legacy bullshit, you have to lift the veil.

We’re all under it.

We’re all intuitive, believers of something more, we all desire better lives.

But the only way to get it is to understand your everyday existence comes from you not for you.

You made this, and the only way to get out and unstuck is to change. Before you can change, you need to see what you’re like.

Why you do the things you do, who the hell are you?

Because if you want success, you’ll need to match your nature, with the right nature.

An environment that rewards who you are.

More on that later, till then–

#FOOLFWD

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Before you write this off as some click-baity guru advice… hear me out. 

Everyone wants the same thing– we just look for it differently. If you walked into a psychic shop right now and then asked the wise old seer, “hey, how often do you get asked the same bunch of questions?”  

The answer would probably be: OFTEN…. Wanna reading? 

Anywhose–  

We all want love, fulfillment, money (more or less), and success… really, we all want more life. 

But LIFE, compared to our self-medicating HBO binges, hardly ever holds up to fantasy. And today in our oh-so-remote and lonely lives, it’s reeeeeally boring. 

Your movie somehow became a commercial break, on repeat. 

Is that what you wished for growing up? 

What if all you had to do was add one small shift into your daily routine, and by changing this– every aspect of your entire life would improve? 

You’d be more in the moment, be the center of all the action and fun, and naturally attract awesome opportunities and experiences. 

Well, I’ve found it– the one thing and it isn’t as difficult as re-aligning your chakras. 

It’s far more simple: 

Become Ship-burners and Master the Art of the Restart. 

Searching for passion led me to moving around a lot– chasing the dream. I tried virtually everything, literally everywhere: directing, writing, acting, sales, marketing, production, music, then back to I’m-Lost-WTF-should-I-commit-to!!?  

Instead of finding my one true love (career-wise) I found an odd habit that I’ve since adopted as a way of life.  

Movement. 

Back to what it means to be a ship burner. 

See, life moves on with or without you, and whatever you pursue there is no guarantee your wishes will come true, so you have to maximize the fun and joy out of each and every moment. 

And to do that, you need to make one mindset shift: Radical acceptance of the present. If all you had was right now, you’d operate a lot differently.  

For one– You wouldn’t feel guilty about that second muffin you ate, you’d already be onto the next thing.  

I don’t think any of us like racing home and vegging on the couch, we do it because we don’t know what to do. But if instead of knowing what our calling was, we had to do our own extracurriculars, we’d instead get our fun from reality– literal, not virtual, AND as a result we’d have better lives. 

You have to be a ship burner. I don’t mean tell people off or burn bridges, I mean mentally get rid of, let go, expire your fantasy life because it’s robbing you of real life. 

If you want to do something eventually, just do it now. 

Do it because all we have is now. 

Burn the ships of fantasy and never be stuck on any island. 

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We’re all products of advertising and a lot of our spiritual hang-ups… well, they aren’t.

You’re not broken, you’re not stuck, you’re not without purpose but you are wrong– and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can get to the starting line.

Dreams are bullshit.

And chasing dreams doesn’t end well.

Don’t confuse a child who’s been chasing becoming a pro baseball player their entire youth with yourself, who at 30, wants to go back to the idea of doing something creative… but having ZERO dedication to skills.

We mentally jerk off ideas and hold onto potential paths— maybe I’ll do this, or that, then the other thing.

That’s what it means to be a child: to have options.

Peter Pan doesn’t want to grow up because he fears losing options, but realize that to actualize any potential, you have to say NO to other potentials.

No one admires the 50 year old man-child, and theres tons of them.

Truth is, we’d all succeed if we could stay the course– but to do that, your dreams need to die.

You have to pick a lane, and choose to become the person who stays in that lane. If you want to actualize, this is how it’s done.

There is no finding a special calling, or being so in love with your craft-upfront.

Pick an interest and stick. Learn it, practice it, evolve with it.

My dreams died and left me with goals.

And you know what?

It’s way more fulfilling than neverland ever was.

#FoolFwd

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The only point of all the stupid self improvement content out there is to help you see the bubble you operate under.

All of us have our personalities and weird ways of looking at things, but the things that make us who we are– we don’t even see.

And it’s this that colors our reality: our perception creates the genre of our life.

So, it’d make sense that if one wanted to change genres– from shitty, stupid, boring life, to something more action-packed, they’d go about it by changing their perception.

Well… I don’t think so.

I’m sure gratitude does help. Cool, you love your mom, family, this, that, and the other things.

But all this tip toeing around the thing doesn’t lead to accomplishing the thing.

DEW IT.

No, not like nike. I mean if you want something to change, change that thing directly. This mindset crap is overrated. Gratitude? Overrated.

Yeah, you should improve those things… but not in order to get the change you want, that’s stupid.

That’s like wanting to grow out my hair, so I speak affirmations to my locks hoping it happens.

I’m aging into a grump, and I’m only 28.

But the way I see it, it’s simple: nothing, literally nothing, matters. And everyone says it, people tattoo it, but few live by it.

I’ve been growing restless because while I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I know I don’t want this.

Being ambitious and undecided is painful AF.

We can remove some of the soreness by movement.

So, time for an adventure– a side mission.

I don’t know where I’ll be, but I WONT BE HERE.

#FOOLON

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This is a letter to my big-headed self, so probably useless to anyone who experiences imposter syndrome…

… but here it is: if you keep lingering on “purpose” and find yourself virgin-ing away your days til you find the one, I’ve got a helpful tip—

Go have S$X instead.

Because Knight and Shining Calling doesn’t ever ring, or tinder, or whatever… you get the metaphor, hopefully.

Take it from someone possessed by the idea, If you believe you have some pre-defined calling, you’ll end up wasting your life all because you keep second guessing every possible opportunity to take.

You end up floating fearfully, achieving nothing, and delusionally hanging on to the fact that your absent father may come back from the store to take you to the game…. only now it’s weird, because you’re hairy and old.

My point is this– if there is a unique purpose for you and you are in fact the chosen one, it’s not going to just pick you up from your house and chauffeur you to greatness.

Purpose or not, this game is powered by a single battery: Momentum.

And to get the momentum needed to live a good life, maybe not how you define it, but way better than what you have now, you need focused action.

The way to do this is simple…

DIVORCE.

Split up from the idea that you need the love of your life.

Let’s be scientists just for a second and look at the data– if waiting around for that special someone is the right move, why are you single and have been for years?

I got ahead in life when I developed skills…. that I didn’t love, just did it for the purpose of GETTING AHEAD.

Forget the stars, fortunes, and whatever else tells you somethings coming.

It isn’t.

You wanna find a great life, make it. Literally, keep taking opportunities, job hop, do a dare, try shit, leave, keep moving– the only rule is not to stop.

If you want a purposeful life, exorcise the angel on your shoulder whispering you sweet nothings.

Forget your purpose to find it.

#FoolForward you hopeless romantics 😉

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A fortune teller called me and warned me– she said, “this crystal ball shows you’re smart, but never trust it…

Delusion; often disguised as a dream or a goal– but what separates it is it’s ability to remove you from reality.

And I’ve been far removed.

Do you have a single calling?

We read about success stories from famous authors, athletes, and entrepreneurs– and this makes the dream seem less sleepy… as if, you too, right where you are, have what it takes.

But we don’t read from the failed authors, or hear from the people who have been trying to make it in Hollywood since they were children, or the athletes who couldn’t recover– they all worked hard too, they sacrificed, but they didn’t make it.

Most don’t make it because they’re playing the wrong game.

My answer to the fortune teller– I said, “Fond of myself as I am, I don’t buy into things that could destroy me.”

I believe we each have callings, I’ve always believed that– but if you keep looking at the caller ID anticipating one area code, you’ll miss the opportunity.

The secret to success isn’t an aim, it’s not a destination, it’s you– nature meeting nature. It’s a relationship and it has to be mutual.

The truth is, you have to figure out where and how your traits could yield you success.

There is nothing to find.

Everyone will tell you to change, to work on yourself, to be better… advice equivalent to “don’t have cancer.”

If 50 million people say something foolish, it’s still foolish.

Be your own #1 fan, and give up on stupid callings. Chase your definition of success, do it your way– all the way.

#StayFoolish

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If you’re unsure of which train to get on, you’ll sit at the station forever.

I’m not in a rut, but on the other hand, it could easily turn into that if I don’t get up out of this stagstation.

Ever wonder how stuck-ness happens?

I think it goes something like– you do the damn things you’re supposed to, day in and day out, promising yourself you’ll get out soon. You just have to reach a certain number, goal, or whatever– then you’ll leave.

But you never look for an exit.

You feel tired and thinking of starting over is even more exhausting (especially since you don’t have a clue where to go).

The trains all look the same so you start to wonder is there a point to hopping? Am I going to ride random rides forever?

I did the jumping around thing.

I did the chasing random flights of fantasy, starting over, quitting prematurely, moving states, going from thing to thing.

Maybe this next level doesn’t require changing rides.

Maybe when we get to where we are right now, the only thing we’re supposed to do is build our own arch. If you’re feeling anything similar– it could be that the reason we don’t find something better, is we don’t want this but ALL over again.

If you look, that’s what you’ll get.

You’ll get this, but slightly better. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there is something completely awesome and you just have to find it.

But that would make all the new data coming out coincidental.

Like how today, most don’t keep a job beyond 2 years.

Most can’t retire.

Most can’t live on their own, or invest, or do fun shit.

I don’t ever stop looking, neither should you but it’s safe to say we’ll need something we can take with us.

Something that’s light to pack and goes everywhere.

If you feel empty, you need to refuel and waiting to that works against you. So, fuck it– let’s build something.

Talk later, #FoolFwd

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It’s human nature to want more.

One boring day– and the mind’s eye takes off dreaming up better movies with richer adventures.

Then you have gurus telling you to chase those dreams and some of you will. But most will just chase them mentally, cheat on life every day– just by holding onto fantasy.

So you’re never really here and never really there.

The great in-between.

And if that’s the case– it’s better not to dream.

Dreams, not goals, have only led to bullshit in my life. Since you think you ought to be doing something else, you don’t fully do anything– and fully doing is how you unlock a better life.

My highlight reel, the best moments of my life, were when I was locked in the present.

If this was all you had, you’d leverage way more of it.

It’s easy to look at other people. It’s lazy, and it’s escapism. We do it because we’d rather be somewhere else. But this is all you have and the only way to make it more is to embrace it beyond what you feel comfortable doing.

You don’t need anything else.

Your life, with very minor changes, can be so much more. But you have to embrace it. I want to see where this year goes, if I lived like that.

Here’s an easy experiment to try for the rest of 2022:

If you couldn’t escape, how could you make what you have in front of you–awesome?

I’m going to lean all the way in.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

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Lost your way?

My sister sends me these facebook milestone photos on the regular. You know the ones, “hey, here’s the two of you sitting on a tree 2 years ago– today.”

They’re completely worthless and dumb, but looking at them does remind you of life passing you by as you vegetate through the motions of the “daily grind.”

And then it got me introspecting.

I was a real idiot.

If entitlement was a person, it lived somewhere inside me (ha– you though I’d identify with it but #stillcocky).

I didn’t understand the concept of moving with life, and I think a lot of people get this wrong. If you just rolled with it, you’d naturally, almost by coincidence, carve out a path for yourself that you enjoyed.

But that’s not what most of us will do.

Instead, you’ll complain. Talk about why shit is bad and you can’t change. Why you need certain conditions met before you do the thing, blah-blah-blah.

It’s what I did.

The real question is where do you get returns and why the hell would you leave that?

Not even the most gifted among us can do anything. Anything? Like tomorrow you think you could be an astronaut– chill out Captain Crunch, your own life is a mouthful to chew and you want to bite off more?

Sometimes you just want a break.

You need time to not be yourself.

You need days to flow.

For every time I got serious, I got failure.

It’s like some kind of guaranteed law. As soon as you think you’re a big deal and your life is a big deal, abracadabra– you’re a loser.

As far as I know, theres only one way to succeed:

Embrace every aspect of life, starting where you are.

#Foolfwd

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From the outside, it looks like I’ve got it together.

I have a promising career, the freedom I used to wish for, I’m not rich (yet) but have enough to adventure where-ever, and best of all– I have options.

Something I didn’t even know was a top priority back then.

Options might be above any dreams I could ever have, especially in terms of goals– but more on that later.

I can go anywhere from here, BUT there’s one problem… I’m still me so I’m stuck circling the block.

I thought if I had certain things, I’d be good. I figured the restlessness and boredom came from me missing these things and that it’d disappear as soon as I started living my life. Instead the mind just picks another target to chase as soon as you reach whatever you wanted and you…

… run after it.

Don’t write this off as healthy or unhealthy ambition.

It isn’t ambition at all.

This is impulsivity.

It’s boredom.

An uncontrollable brain function ghost busting phantoms.

And the real issue here is how do you make goals, how do you get ahead in life or become more than you are if you can’t trust yourself?

Goals are what develop us, and mine cause me to lose touch with everything that brought me success.

So should I not have a life of passion and fun?

That can’t be the answer.

It’s more than the grass always being greener, its like enjoying porn more than actual sex. You like dreams more than real life, and when the dream is real– you find another dream to cheat with.

The most bizarre thing about it is knowing it’s not real, but falling for it anyway… every single time, without fail.

I love California when I don’t live there— but as soon as I visit, my mind is back home– and I’m obsessing over how much better what I have is, and how the hell this shithole ever occupied my mind?

Then I get back home, aaaaaand Cali dreaming plays all over again.

It’s like I only like it when it’s not mine.

Not sure if thats true but that’s how it looks.

For the last year and a half, I’ve been trying to figure out a productive way to use this energy/ personality trait. Pretending it away or “not identifying” with it only leads to more aggressive decision making.

Trying to copy others who don’t have it leads to failure.

And those who seemingly DO have it and succeeded, can’t be copied because they haven’t conquered it.

So can’t live with it or without it.

That leaves one thing– you have to funnel it and the only thing I have is what’s right in front of me.

This isn’t about change, it’s about leverage.

If you want to succeed, you have to learn to leverage what you’re like and what game you’re most likely to win.

That’s where I’m at with it.

My career, my craft, the path before me.

I’ve got to train myself to DUMP this restlessness into my work.

If I don’t use it, it’ll use me.

It’s no different for you.

Remember– theres nothing wrong with your design, you’re just not using it right.

#FoolFwd

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