Tag: SelfHelp

Stunts aren’t solutions, and that’s why conmen never hang around after the storys told.

Being bold upfront isn’t hard but sticking around to deal with the aftermath of your promises… try seasoning that on your holiday nerves.

I realized this a couple weeks ago….

I made more money in a very short time for much less work— BUT the reality distorting part about it was nothing changed.

My skill level is the same.

My interests? Same.

The problems I solve? Same.

The only thing that changed was my attitude. I wanted more. I decided to BE more.

You wanna be an author? An entrepreneur? A whatever? Then be. Don’t prepare for it, don’t get ready for it, don’t practice.

Think about how that person lives their day, and live it.

–FOOL

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Wanna know the easiest way to signal your own inferiority to your brain? Act as if something is a big deal by stressing during preparation.

My day-before-the-test routine is always the same— wake up, casually, do everything unrelated to the thing I’m facing (never thinking about it the whole time) and then, the following day, showing up intently, focused.

Whether it was a test for school, a new job that I’d never done, or some exciting project that I over-promised on, this routine remains a constant.

Most of us don’t take new opportunities because we’re afraid of being unprepared…. we’re AFRAID of losing something we don’t even have? Unless you’re in some life or death field, that’s completely mad.

We’re always unprepared, the key is to be okay with figuring it out as you go.

Don’t stop yourself from doing something because you “need more time to get ready to be ready.”

That’s not real.

You don’t need permission to stop being an intern, just decision.

–FOOL

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Limitless was always one of my favorite movies— and that was before I unconsciously aged into that very same raggedy haired writer looking for his next big move.

There isn’t anyone alive who couldn’t benefit from a brain upgrade…

Difference is, that’s what I find myself exclusively pursuing these days.

Is Life a simulation? Idk. But it is a stimulation, and how you train your brain to respond and take in everything will determine how far your character advances.

You don’t have to change anything, and here’s the crazy part, you’d probably fail if you tried.

But if you decided to RESPOND differently, to the very same circumstances you’ve got years of familiarity with, life begins to change before you.

You don’t have to have the same day today, try to live it differently.

See through the lens of someone who possesses the ability to turn every difficulty into a triumph.

How might your life go then?

–FOOL

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Truth is, I always feel great clearing the calendar via last minute text message— announcing my absence from whatever event I’ve decided to ditch.

Obligations are weird.

A lot of us keep the ones that don’t matter and break the ones that do.

Look, I do believe in the importance of keeping your word… but I also believe it’s your life and you don’t owe anyone anything.

That said, how do you want to spend it?

If I don’t wanna be around poor storytellers who use drinking as a multi player virtual reality game– I’m canceling.

Call it flaky, call it rude, call it selfish, call it what you want but don’t call me.

The older you get you realize it’s not your time you’re guarding, it’s your mind.

And I’m minding my business.

What will you make more room for in 2023?

–FOOL

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Ask a kid what they like and don’t like and they’ll effortlessly rattle off their lists, ask a full grown “rational” adult, and sit there while you’re met with an unclear and rather complicated answer.

I asked for your hobbies not the next 10 years of your life.

We’re not meant to move like this.

We’re not meant to over-rationalize, over-think, plan, question, and copy.

This is how we move away from what we’re like and what we like, then you get people doomed to read “get-to-know-yourself” books to makeup for not.

Put down the books and stop contemplating.

Unplug.

With no input, let your body recalibrate and discover, without the influence of anyone else you’ll realign with the things meant for you.

—FOOL

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We can’t control the things that happen to and for us, but the meaning you decide to give those events is what ultimately determines the kind of life you’ll have.

If you think you’re a loser who just can’t figure it out, you’ll serve a longer sentence in limbo…. and some never break out.

But if you decide that this shitty phase is working for your benefit, that this is the part of your story where you’re made and become who you’re meant to— you’ll reconnect with your own uniqueness and you’ll rise.

This is just from changing the story you tell yourself.

You’re not changing reality, you’re not changing circumstances.

By changing the story, by deciding that this means something better, you improve and alter the trajectory of your life.

We’re all magicians in that way and our stories shape our fate.

What do you want it to mean?

What would be a cooler story?

–FOOL

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I’ve been hitting buzzer beaters to close out this year and its got me thinking why’d it take so long to get started?

I wanted to taste my success– so I took a weekend trip and spent that time in and around luxury (well, my kind of luxury).

Out there I realized— nothing changed.

My skill level is the same, I’m the same, the things I enjoy are the same.

The only thing that changed was I learned “how I could.”

I learned where my lever for success was and how to pull it up and down to create the things that I desire.

The difference between your ideal tomorrow and now is what you know.

Now you may not know what to do, and to go there, where your goal is– you’ll have to trust in something bigger.

Risk is part of the process.

Leap, then Learn.

–FOOL

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Pre-new year, I keep this habit of reviewing all my past posts–mostly to fill myself with some sense of gratitude for how far I’ve come.

And yeah, it gives you a quick high of gratefulness…. but on the way down you realize every single post is the same…

If you look beyond the clever titles and disguised complaining, It’s always some variation of, “I’m bored, need to focus, I want fun, responsibility sucks.”

Even now, I’m starting an entirely different chapter–my life has been changed for the better–dramatically, but I know my themes will be colored EXACTLY the same, because I am who I am.

For some of you that might be depressing, but actually it’s the reason you should be enthused.

Think about what it means.

If we stay who we are in pretty much any environment, you can bet on acting a specific way.

You can make plans off unchanging variables.

That moody little bitch inside me who always thwarts my long term plans, he’ll always be there, so how do I put him to work in a way that advances my goals?

If you’re always putting others ahead, where would that be rewarded? Do you suck at being alone? There’s a corresponding strength to every weakness, find it and use it.

You’re always taking your inner kid to everything you do, we don’t change.

We’re just children playing dress up, don’t confuse your wardrobe for your destiny.

–FOOL

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Where you get obvious returns in life is what you should pursue. Problem is, most of us don’t see it— or at least haven’t seen it clearly enough.

So you spend all this time looking to catch a glimpse of something that could give you a clear enough answer to at least settle your restlessness and stop you from searching.

Writing pulled me out of mediocrity.

I went from broke 20-something to decent income, to good income, to good life.

Let me be ultra clear, I NEVER would have chose this as my path.

In fact, had I not stumbled into this and done it as casually as I did, I wouldn’t be here right now.

If you want a different 2023, one with more success, track where you win.

Where do you get returns? Which doors always open for you?

Everyone has this, find your house and win.

—FOOL

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The greatest lesson I’ve learned, and by greatest, I mean will have the most meaningful impact on my life is, fun and fulfillment have nothing to do with one another.

Since my birth, all I could ever think about was what I wanted.

How, I’d love the life of appearances. I liked how it looked to be a star, actor, rich, famous, some public figure who has millions of dollars and does whatever the fuck they want.

That was the only “goal” I ever thought about.

When I first stepped into that character, in my senior year of high school, it was such a level of fun, I thought I had it all figured out.

And so pursued it– til multiple failures had me running back.

I couldn’t let it go.

Even after leaving so many times, the idea returned that this is what I’m meant for.

But, in temporarily “pausing it”, for the sake of making money and paying bills, I became a writer.

I scored a client, then a job, now a career.

All that time that went into the wrong focus— the idea of being “a somebody”, rather than having a skill and solving a problem….

After working at my first real job, I got that “dream.”

Well, tasted it. I directed video, was the star of many, voice acted, wrote scripts, the whole shebang.

It was fun— but after awhile, I felt empty.

AND THIS SET ME FREE.

I realized this was only ever a FUN idea, but it could never be a career or skill you pursued.

Who I am is what I do.

It’s true for you too.

In my free time, I didn’t do any of those “fun” ideas and that should have been proof enough that it wasn’t a real interest.

Instead, I was learning about human behavior, psychology, all marketing related things. But didn’t think to work towards that.

If you want a good life, forget the fun and focus on the here and now.

Freedom is in being who you truly are. Not who you present or pretend.

–FOOL

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Theres 2 main schools of thought for balancing work/life as you search for your dream life—

some people say you should be a “C” student.

That means going to work, doing the bare minimum, clock in then out so that you can go home and use the extra time to build and work on your own dreams.

The other group takes the opposite position.

They say you need to get into the habit of giving everything your all.

You’d LEAN in, embrace all the opportunities, become the go-to go-getter, and apply this principle in and outside of work.

I like the bare minimum answer in theory, but for most people that is exactly why they don’t get anywhere.

Truth is, your RETURNS are equal to your Efforts (mostly).

Give something your all and the returns you get are unimaginable compared to just showing up and being a background character.

By choosing to do it all FULLY, you create opportunities and experiences that would otherwise never be possible.

What the hell are you saving yourself for anyway?

You’ve got a life to live.

–FOOL

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You want a spoon full of opportunities but face a fork in the road?

Lost, unsure of yourself, don’t know where to go?

Apply this advice only if you’re kind of a phuckup and need help course correcting your life:

Break your patterns.

Most of us are stuck in the same spot because we run the same program.

You, being who you are, always do what you’re doing now.

If I normally would back out of a certain type of scenario (and that’s the reason I don’t get ahead), my only job is to show up. If, normally I’d disappear— I don’t.

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Try the opposite.

Do the different thing to get the different result.

If you can’t trust your instincts, you need to recalibrate them and the only way to do that is to reset the system.

Break out of your patters and you’ll break free from your obstacles.

–FOOL

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Can you change your character? I don’t know, but a better question might be— should you even try?

When we consider and make plans from what we KNOW to be true about ourselves, we’re far more likely to see immediate success.

Example:

I have periods of artist melancholy bullshit, where I need to be alone for a few days after too much socializing, to process all of my experiencing.

I could pretend that’s not real.

I can decide to take a job that’s 24/7 battlefront shit and hope to power past my introspecting under a blanket.

Maybe that trait will disappear or maybe it’ll win and that role would have been a waste of time.

We win long term working with our character, not trying to change the unchangeable.

Accept who you are and make plans around it.

It’s not only easier, it’s more fulfilling and success-friendly.

—FOOL

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I used to casually back out of things last minute as soon as I got them.

Guess it was my way of protecting myself from change— which is stupid, because I wanted that change.

But what would happen is I’d get to the point where it’s time to deliver, and you can’t fake delivery, so at the very last second, I’d bounce.

I always wrote this off as “the opportunity/scenario just wasn’t a right fit” but today I see it as my final mountain.

You’re burning away your weaknesses when you grow through them.

The moment you decide to WALK through uncertainty, to show up and sit in discomfort, to do the damn thing and if you fail, you fail, but at least you showed up—this is where the alchemical process of growth happens.

Everything else is bullshit.

If you want change for the better, the kind that can lead to that dream life, you have to move beyond where you normally back out.

There is no other way but forward.

–FOOL

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Pretty much all of the opportunities I’ve gotten had to do with the energy I put out (through words) and nothing to do with being qualified.

What you say can mean a lot to the people listening.

The words you write can mean a lot.

Language is way more powerful than we’re aware, and yet– most of us don’t develop our styles.

We don’t play with expression, we don’t toy with tongue, we don’t realize that reality is shaped by the words that categorize it.

If you want to change your circumstances, change the language you use to describe them.

We’re all magicians in that regard, so careful casting spells.

–FOOL

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“Our work works on us”

I don’t remember who documented that observation, but how true it is remains universal.

If you’re able to do your job well, then to some degree, you have competency for it.

Assuming theres still challenges for you to work out and solve and some of you personality matches the nature of the role— you’ll find yourself evolving over time, through your work.

The best job I ever had was writing related, I became more myself by engaging with the work– because the work was related to what I’m like.

I got to play with ideas, play with words, play with my teammates and create.

It’s easily been the most fun I’ve ever had, more than anything up til this point.

It wasn’t without frustration and anger, but it was a helluva ride.

And now the rides coming to an end, and I’m getting off this one and on another, one that offers more adventure, more change, more problems to solve, and more…. me.

Don’t worry about love, fulfillment, passion, or success.

Instead, accept a new challenge, one you’d like to spend time solving.

–FOOL

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If someone tells you it takes decades that you don’t have to get into something, don’t wait in line with them.

You know, for having this much “access” i.e. resources— we don’t do shit.

Think about it, everyone wants a better job, house, car, wife, husband, kids, life…. but ALL of those every-bodies will go down conventional routes and eventually just settle.

And don’t get me wrong, settling is underrated— if you’re happy.

Continually chasing happiness is an idea sold by self improvement cults to drain you of all your cents, and sense.

Want success (the fulfillment kind for your own life)?

It’s actually simpler than you think.

First, decide you want something better, but be specific. What is the bare minimum requirements for a good life?

Instead of reaching for the stars, reach for the pen and pad.

Fuck your dreams.

Where do you live, what’s your day look like, how do you spend your time and what problems are you solving?

These are questions to get you moving, and movement is key.

Now, pick the smallest and most important thing.

For example, if you wanted to be a writer, journaling everyday for 3 minutes would be a good small goal. 3 minutes too much? Make it 1.

There’s only one way to step out of line and that’s with your feet.

You have to DECIDE to act with faith.

Faith because you don’t know what the future holds, but you’re choosing to believe in something greater than your circumstances.

Might as well, because to reprise my role as captain obvious, there ain’t any real risk in the face of death….. and we’ll all face her someday.

#FoolFWD

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Sunlight never touches your brain and you wanna lecture me about objective reality? Save it Degrassi Tyson.

We’re stuck in our own minds—and I don’t mean overthinking either.

The life you live comes from the brain you have.

If you want a better life, find someone who has the brain that leads to it….

Every single thing you interact with, from the animate to inanimate is your interpretation of it. There is no objective thing, you can’t take in those molecules without processing them through your biological filters.

In that way, you make everything personal.

You see your loved ones how YOU SEE them. You can’t not do this, so on Thanksgiving maybe you lend them some better characteristics because you’re feeling grateful.

…But for the most part, our entire lives, along with the people who make them up, are just our own minds projectiling its imagination based on nothing but mood and past experiences.

We color things the way our brain is colored (in that moment).

If you’re paranoid, you live in a dramatically different world than someone who is just chilling.

You all probably know this, so what’s the point?

When you become close to someone, you’re able to finish their sentences, answer a lot of questions for them (before they do), almost borrow their way of thinking.

How is that?

Because you’ve (to a certain degree) entered their mind.

Borrowing multiple vantage points, different views from different angles, from different worlds (people), you can use all that perspective to literally CHANGE your world.

That’s why community and friendship are still very underrated.

If your world sucks, go understand someone (whom you admire ideally) else’s.

No one lives in “the real world” the only question is: Who lives in the world you wanna live in, problems and all, and how do they experience all of this?

–FOOL

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If you’re spiritually bankrupt then in all likelihood, you have a solid life.

What kills life force isn’t the monotonous routine of work/life balance, but a lack of newness.

You just need more going on….

People get stuck because they don’t move.

If you want a smaller solution, one that doesn’t demand you know how your entire life plays out, burn a ship or two.

Worst case if you don’t figure it out? You’ll learn to swim or learn to crack open a coconut and feed off the islands children.

My point is you can’t rust in routine.

That’s where your emptiness comes from, but the good news is the second you start moving- that feeling is replaced, by novelty and then excitement.

And then a year from now or however long (but never too long), you’ll have a new life.

Do the thing. Do something.

—FOOL

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“If you want it bad enough, you won’t need a plan B” is objectively garbage advice. You wouldn’t say that talking about a love interest (hopefully), but somehow you think goals are different?

Your aspirations don’t give a shit about how bad you want them and as far as the laws of attraction go— they only ever open doors for the worthy.

There is something to be said about boldness, I’ve definitely gotten a lot of luck from it.

But the niche I’m now seeing success in wasn’t my first pick, not even second, probably 3rd.

Don’t think you have to force something that doesn’t work. You’ll know when it’s time to evolve your interests and pivot into a different direction.

Arranging your cosmic marriage to an unreciprocated partner (like a goal that ain’t showing results) won’t end in happily ever after.

Remember, we only see the success stories.

They don’t sell books about the people who didn’t make it despite talent, skill, and passion.

Adapt your interests. Move with the tide.

Guarantee your own success.

–FOOL

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