The greatest lesson I’ve learned, and by greatest, I mean will have the most meaningful impact on my life is, fun and fulfillment have nothing to do with one another.
Since my birth, all I could ever think about was what I wanted.
How, I’d love the life of appearances. I liked how it looked to be a star, actor, rich, famous, some public figure who has millions of dollars and does whatever the fuck they want.
That was the only “goal” I ever thought about.
When I first stepped into that character, in my senior year of high school, it was such a level of fun, I thought I had it all figured out.
And so pursued it– til multiple failures had me running back.
I couldn’t let it go.
Even after leaving so many times, the idea returned that this is what I’m meant for.
But, in temporarily “pausing it”, for the sake of making money and paying bills, I became a writer.
I scored a client, then a job, now a career.
All that time that went into the wrong focus— the idea of being “a somebody”, rather than having a skill and solving a problem….
After working at my first real job, I got that “dream.”
Well, tasted it. I directed video, was the star of many, voice acted, wrote scripts, the whole shebang.
It was fun— but after awhile, I felt empty.
AND THIS SET ME FREE.
I realized this was only ever a FUN idea, but it could never be a career or skill you pursued.
Who I am is what I do.
It’s true for you too.
In my free time, I didn’t do any of those “fun” ideas and that should have been proof enough that it wasn’t a real interest.
Instead, I was learning about human behavior, psychology, all marketing related things. But didn’t think to work towards that.
If you want a good life, forget the fun and focus on the here and now.
Freedom is in being who you truly are. Not who you present or pretend.
–FOOL