I’ve settled.
From the moment I started all of this (blog included), I gave everything the bare minimum.
This was my backup plan.
Just something to point to as insurance, should nothing work out– still not a loser.
Since my marriage to this grind, I’ve mentally cheated every single day. Not one moment in this “journey” where I didn’t wish for outside intervention & excitement to intervene and abduct me from normalcy.
But I’ll tell you wholeheartedly, the urges do get more manageable.
Despite my protests, the more I write– the less appealing my original desires become. In short, I’m not leaving my momentum for delusion.
Your career depends on others, regardless of what you choose– that’s a highly vulnerable position.
Skills stand alone.
They’re yours, beyond that– they transform your character.
Intentional self improvement is garbage if it’s not aimed directly at the head of your weaknesses.
Reading books each day. Cold showers. Meditation.
All of it, unnecessary.
I only improved, when I committed to a skill.
Hence the title of this post. As I continue to write, to commit, to lean into becoming better, my animalistic urges lessen.
The mind still craves what it craves, so I’m looking for an outlet– something independent of what I’m doing. But this time it’s not to take over, or in hopes of saving me from mediocrity, this is just an outlet.
I realize the most important decision you can ever make is this: I’m good no matter what.
If you sit there and torture yourself with your endless possibilities and desires, your life will suck on a whole new low.
Do what’s before you, as best you can.
Only playful embrace will lead to your path.
—fool
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