Month: March 2022

If you’re unsure of which train to get on, you’ll sit at the station forever.

I’m not in a rut, but on the other hand, it could easily turn into that if I don’t get up out of this stagstation.

Ever wonder how stuck-ness happens?

I think it goes something like– you do the damn things you’re supposed to, day in and day out, promising yourself you’ll get out soon. You just have to reach a certain number, goal, or whatever– then you’ll leave.

But you never look for an exit.

You feel tired and thinking of starting over is even more exhausting (especially since you don’t have a clue where to go).

The trains all look the same so you start to wonder is there a point to hopping? Am I going to ride random rides forever?

I did the jumping around thing.

I did the chasing random flights of fantasy, starting over, quitting prematurely, moving states, going from thing to thing.

Maybe this next level doesn’t require changing rides.

Maybe when we get to where we are right now, the only thing we’re supposed to do is build our own arch. If you’re feeling anything similar– it could be that the reason we don’t find something better, is we don’t want this but ALL over again.

If you look, that’s what you’ll get.

You’ll get this, but slightly better. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there is something completely awesome and you just have to find it.

But that would make all the new data coming out coincidental.

Like how today, most don’t keep a job beyond 2 years.

Most can’t retire.

Most can’t live on their own, or invest, or do fun shit.

I don’t ever stop looking, neither should you but it’s safe to say we’ll need something we can take with us.

Something that’s light to pack and goes everywhere.

If you feel empty, you need to refuel and waiting to that works against you. So, fuck it– let’s build something.

Talk later, #FoolFwd

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It’s human nature to want more.

One boring day– and the mind’s eye takes off dreaming up better movies with richer adventures.

Then you have gurus telling you to chase those dreams and some of you will. But most will just chase them mentally, cheat on life every day– just by holding onto fantasy.

So you’re never really here and never really there.

The great in-between.

And if that’s the case– it’s better not to dream.

Dreams, not goals, have only led to bullshit in my life. Since you think you ought to be doing something else, you don’t fully do anything– and fully doing is how you unlock a better life.

My highlight reel, the best moments of my life, were when I was locked in the present.

If this was all you had, you’d leverage way more of it.

It’s easy to look at other people. It’s lazy, and it’s escapism. We do it because we’d rather be somewhere else. But this is all you have and the only way to make it more is to embrace it beyond what you feel comfortable doing.

You don’t need anything else.

Your life, with very minor changes, can be so much more. But you have to embrace it. I want to see where this year goes, if I lived like that.

Here’s an easy experiment to try for the rest of 2022:

If you couldn’t escape, how could you make what you have in front of you–awesome?

I’m going to lean all the way in.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

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Lost your way?

My sister sends me these facebook milestone photos on the regular. You know the ones, “hey, here’s the two of you sitting on a tree 2 years ago– today.”

They’re completely worthless and dumb, but looking at them does remind you of life passing you by as you vegetate through the motions of the “daily grind.”

And then it got me introspecting.

I was a real idiot.

If entitlement was a person, it lived somewhere inside me (ha– you though I’d identify with it but #stillcocky).

I didn’t understand the concept of moving with life, and I think a lot of people get this wrong. If you just rolled with it, you’d naturally, almost by coincidence, carve out a path for yourself that you enjoyed.

But that’s not what most of us will do.

Instead, you’ll complain. Talk about why shit is bad and you can’t change. Why you need certain conditions met before you do the thing, blah-blah-blah.

It’s what I did.

The real question is where do you get returns and why the hell would you leave that?

Not even the most gifted among us can do anything. Anything? Like tomorrow you think you could be an astronaut– chill out Captain Crunch, your own life is a mouthful to chew and you want to bite off more?

Sometimes you just want a break.

You need time to not be yourself.

You need days to flow.

For every time I got serious, I got failure.

It’s like some kind of guaranteed law. As soon as you think you’re a big deal and your life is a big deal, abracadabra– you’re a loser.

As far as I know, theres only one way to succeed:

Embrace every aspect of life, starting where you are.

#Foolfwd

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From the outside, it looks like I’ve got it together.

I have a promising career, the freedom I used to wish for, I’m not rich (yet) but have enough to adventure where-ever, and best of all– I have options.

Something I didn’t even know was a top priority back then.

Options might be above any dreams I could ever have, especially in terms of goals– but more on that later.

I can go anywhere from here, BUT there’s one problem… I’m still me so I’m stuck circling the block.

I thought if I had certain things, I’d be good. I figured the restlessness and boredom came from me missing these things and that it’d disappear as soon as I started living my life. Instead the mind just picks another target to chase as soon as you reach whatever you wanted and you…

… run after it.

Don’t write this off as healthy or unhealthy ambition.

It isn’t ambition at all.

This is impulsivity.

It’s boredom.

An uncontrollable brain function ghost busting phantoms.

And the real issue here is how do you make goals, how do you get ahead in life or become more than you are if you can’t trust yourself?

Goals are what develop us, and mine cause me to lose touch with everything that brought me success.

So should I not have a life of passion and fun?

That can’t be the answer.

It’s more than the grass always being greener, its like enjoying porn more than actual sex. You like dreams more than real life, and when the dream is real– you find another dream to cheat with.

The most bizarre thing about it is knowing it’s not real, but falling for it anyway… every single time, without fail.

I love California when I don’t live there— but as soon as I visit, my mind is back home– and I’m obsessing over how much better what I have is, and how the hell this shithole ever occupied my mind?

Then I get back home, aaaaaand Cali dreaming plays all over again.

It’s like I only like it when it’s not mine.

Not sure if thats true but that’s how it looks.

For the last year and a half, I’ve been trying to figure out a productive way to use this energy/ personality trait. Pretending it away or “not identifying” with it only leads to more aggressive decision making.

Trying to copy others who don’t have it leads to failure.

And those who seemingly DO have it and succeeded, can’t be copied because they haven’t conquered it.

So can’t live with it or without it.

That leaves one thing– you have to funnel it and the only thing I have is what’s right in front of me.

This isn’t about change, it’s about leverage.

If you want to succeed, you have to learn to leverage what you’re like and what game you’re most likely to win.

That’s where I’m at with it.

My career, my craft, the path before me.

I’ve got to train myself to DUMP this restlessness into my work.

If I don’t use it, it’ll use me.

It’s no different for you.

Remember– theres nothing wrong with your design, you’re just not using it right.

#FoolFwd

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