You regularly cheat on yourself– sometimes for others, sometimes for yourself.
The reason we fall into self-hate is because we don’t honor, define, and live by our own values.
In short, you’re a cheater.
No one is born hating themselves, but everyone is born to specific values.
This is where my stand is different from everyone on the internet. Fuck nurture, it’s all nature.
And if you want any semblance of a good life you’ll figure out the values you actually have and start living them.
For example, I didn’t choose to value eating clean, being in shape, staying active, and being independent in every sense of the word. Those sound like everyones values. But when I cheat on them, any one of them, even a little– I start to hate myself.
What is that?
Think of it as your soul hating the character it’s playing as.
Your interests and values guide you to maximum development, to becoming and reaching your potential. When you don’t follow that inner voice, that inner voice lashes out.
As hard as it is, don’t take it personal.
Pay attention.
Ask yourself: Why am i angry with myself?
This is how you begin to define your values and from there, live by them. I recently started clean eating. I was always in shape, but usually I’d eat whatever I want, snack too much, feel like garbage, then spend the rest of the day obsessively trying to burn it off. Stupid and disgusting.
Now, I eat clean– don’t worry about it, and focus on my work. Win-win.
And I feel awesome, I feel self-love and self-respect.
I’m moving onto the rest. Which look like having something I can give myself to– a craft, my work. I value that. I value boldness, but also mastery. It’s up to you to create yourself.
So, feeling angry with yourself?
That’s just the actor you’re mad at. Don’t take it personal, it’s not feelings but data.
Figure out what value you’ve broken, and moving forward be deliberate to never break it again. Start with just one value. This will lead to others without you getting overwhelmed.
There is no permanent self hate, you just don’t want to act like this current self.
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