This is what it feels like to have your mind blown.
For the first time in my life, I saw objective reality. Me, not as I imagine, not as I want to be, but as I am.
And I am what I so disliked about certain “other people”. The over-blasting, over consuming, extrovert– who, rather than building one thing and focusing, just mind jerks all over the place with fictional cunning schemes that will never happen.
Crazy.
I can’t believe how easily I fell for it.
But my concern right now is how to get better of it. What we know is this, it’s automatic. Triggered by bullshit ideas of success– thats the why. For some its curiosity (person who I never want to be like) for you it’s success. Why doesn’t matter, we have different drivers, but the same personality.
I encourage you to meet with yourself. You probably already have, and haven’t noticed. That’s really what kicked all this off. A few years back, before I was a writer and had anything going for me– I met this individual in one of my College Literature classes.
He was A LOT like me, only much older. In a way, it was like meeting future me. At the time, I didn’t want to see it– especially since I saw this individual as a loser. He even warned me, mostly with advice of what I’ll want to do and put in place to ensure my life is a success, I didn’t listen.
This guy was annoying.
He thought he was smarter than everyone, always debated others, and always had some new scheme to make money– that he would never actually follow through with.
He was all over the place, all the time.
The only reason I hung out with him was because despite being a manchild, he was intelligent. He never took things personal, was playful, and could laugh at himself and others, while still being objective.
I remember thinking what a waste, someone bright who can’t stick to something to save their life.
That was years ago, but only a week ago– I looked just like him.
He was right, and I was wrong. We’re A LOT alike and just the other day I saw it. I saw myself exactly as I am, no different from him.
For a brief moment, I might as well have been him.
I overcame the psychological immune system and was initiated into objective reality. And whats reality say?
You kinda suck.
You’re all over the place, always going on flights of fantasy, always imagining something new to entertain that restless nature.
You are the version of your type that you can’t be.
Which is great. Wholeheartedly, this is great. Now that I see, I can get better of it. And the answer was what I found before, but it’s far easier to stick with the certainty of reality guaranteeing failure if I don’t.
Mastery is and always will be the only answer.
Time + Skills > Dreams = Success
Doing whats in front of you, and going all in.
That mind-blow job was exactly what I needed because scarier than boredom, is becoming someone who can never build.
And that was the only real threat for me.
Wanna see yours?
It’s the person you cringe around the most…
look.
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