We’re all a lot more complex than we appear, some more than others. But for a long time I’ve struggled with reconciling something I was always too familiar with– kurama.
I’ve taken the concept from a popular anime series to better explain and understand it, but it’s very real.
I’m talking about your shadow– each one of us has one, but you have to step into the sun and look down to see it.
I’ve tried everything to outrun mine.
Pretend it away, seal it (repressing it), direct it outward in physical activity, channel it creatively, and now, exhausted but with slightly more understanding…. integrate.
In real life, Kurama isn’t something that covers your body with chakra and wins fights for you— that’d be the shit, but in real life IT SUCKS. It’s more like a parasite feeding off and draining the host. If you’ve ever seen the series Mr.Robot, I’d say Elliot has a solid grasp on what it is– well, grasped by what it is.
It’s enough inner conflict to split the person in two, that’s what it’s like. A pair of twins who never work together… and fight over every little thing.
So, it’d be helpful to think of yourself as a community– rather than an individual. To make it more interesting, your community is full of members with conflicting goals, personalities, and approaches.
You’re never at ease, always tense.
The difference between you and I isn’t that you don’t have one, but that you haven’t seen it.
This is what comes over me and wants to destroy everything in my life. This is what causes me to change lenses in how I see others and the world, this is what isolates and imprisons me– and if you struggle with yours, it’s no different for you.
How do you free yourself of the wild fox?
By letting it run in some meadow, not over you.
Who we are is who we are. You can sit there and hate it, but that will only thicken the shadow and separate you further… which you don’t want. That’s how you create the dynamic of the fox feeding off you.
What you resist persists, we have to embrace it.
There is power here, if you can master the energy. It’s a lot of energy. No doubt, if tamed– you’ll be able to crush goals, outlast competitors, move faster, theres really no limit.
But so few master themselves, where would you even start?
Seeing it. We have to see it, and understand it as something apart of us, but different from us. That distance will help direct it.
And then figure out your medium. We’re all built for something– some will have wild foxes built for running, fighting, writing, art, never stop looking for your field. For you, it’s even more important than anyone else.
You’ll never be able to sit and just chill.
You’ll never just be cool with it.
Finding this field will be the most important thing you ever do for yourself.
And don’t make the mistake of thinking it has to do something with your job, career, hobby, relationship.
It’s yours alone, the only qualifier is that you can pour into it– and on your own.
The energy is there for a reason, might as well embrace it. #FOOLFWD