Desire is suffering.
You could easily fill yourself up with bullshit thoughts every second of every day and think you’re “connecting to purpose” or moving towards some vague goal.
I’ve always wanted the things that were bad for me.
I want that Entourage style life— but the irony is, moving towards it moves you away.
I can’t read my favorite author without being sucked right back into ingratitude and delusion– somehow learning about “calling” makes me reject mine.
Something inspirational invokes bad decision making.
But despite my shortcomings, I have figured out how to move forward and succeed in a near guaranteed way.
Instead of looking at where you want to be, go, or build– look at where you get returns.
And double- triple, down on that.
Somehow, my dreams are fused with this overactive, out of control, muscle in my brain. This muscle is responsible for all the chaos I create– it has its ups but more downs, and since its so over developed, my task (and yours for whatever your imbalances are) is to move away from it.
Failure comes from this invisible force.
This muscle is so strong, you won’t see it— rather, you operate automatically under it. And yet, like a bored God who enjoys watching reruns, it sits there stirring up THE SAME kind of trouble, for you to keep reliving that same obstacle all throughout life.
Our struggles don’t change, and that’s because the angel on your shoulder likes phucking with you.
The irony– WE WERE NEVER INTENDED TO FOLLOW IT.
You have to leave the garden, and water the plants right in front of you. There is no paradise, there is one life, your life– which is built.
As soon as you escape delusion, reality rewards you.
The only way to do this is rebalance the mind. And to do that– you have to move away from the thing that causes delusion in the first place, your natural strengths.
If you’re great at connecting with others, constantly putting them first, even fulfilled by solving their life problems– you likely give nothing to yourself, since nothing is left.
How does one move away from this angel?
By giving time back to yourself, and quit making excuses that you can’t.
This is a game of centimeters.
Start with 15 minutes a day.
Feed yourself– read things you’re curious to learn, develop a skill, journal. This is how it starts, you have to start small.
If you keep making excuses that you need some conditions met before you work on your problems, you’ll piss away your entire life and wonder where it went.
We have to do it immediately.
For those with a brain similar to mine, our call is that of adventure. You’ll hear whispers of “Go here” “start this business” “Be rich and famous” — all dumpster trash garbage advice.
Move away by moving towards skills (and practice stoicism you ungrateful-fuk).
Build where you are, and anytime you’re carried away– train yourself to lean in.
When we’re born, we’re born with a companion. This companion is disguised as an angel and sits at the center of our brain. They drive us.
Your task it to throw that little bitch in the backseat and take hold of the wheel.
So, Start today.