When I pray, I become prey.
Vulnerability is strength but not yours.
What if the “right” shoulder isn’t the right one to turn to? You’re probably familiar with the angel and devil on the shoulder concept, but angel in real life is who you should be afraid of.
The things we habitually do, those are the things that phuck us up. It’s not the risks we think of taking, or the new paths we might try, no. It’s our bullshit saviors (more on that in a bit).
If you want to get ahead in life– you have to shoot your angel. Everyones will look different too, so how can you be sure?
Your angel is a self-protecting, elbow-hugging, delusion thriving, karen-type-of-parent, who used to exist to keep you safe. But safe is no longer sound, especially for personal growth.
So let’s get practical.
How and Why did I shoot my Angel?
First, heres a little bit about the fucker. My angel, if you’re familiar with mbti is Ne. Think of it as a muscle in the brain that is overdeveloped, which means for the most part you can’t see yourself using it.
And I never did.
Ne is a consuming function. It has me waking up at 3 am to search the internet and read up on human behavior. Random things about things– a jerk off muscle that likes patterns and is against building. The problem is not the muscle itself, but by overusing it– you starve the other muscles, and that spells DOOM.
Ne doesn’t build shit.
The more opportunities I see in the world, the more I keep seeing and want to chase. This creates a never ending loop of never building shit.
After years, only then could I see I did this. It took being typed by professionals who first made me aware of this, then my friend who sent me all of our texts– where I could see my random all over the place thinking day by day.
It was a level of cringe that makes you want to cover yourself up.
And after having my mind blown seeing how I actually am for the first time, I loaded up the holy trinity and laid out my angel.
I stopped listening.
I stopped believing in my natural responses.
They’re not real.
And then all of a sudden Morpheus appeared, and offered me some color coded drugs…
But without an angel what the hell do you do? For all of us, it’s about developing your neglected functions. For me, it’s sitting and building. For you, it might be developing yourself– skills, and learning.
It’s different for all of us, and its hard to learn what it is.
What kicked all this off was journaling, you have to start there. Even if it’s not writing, record. Find a way to track yourself and then you’ll see.
You’ll see the delusional games the mind plays.
And only then, can you get ahead in life– because success is about seeing reality.
The Universe rewards those who play in real life, so get out of your head. Good luck, happy Angel Hunting.