“Deep down, everyones waiting for the end” – a quote by some asshole.
Nihilism isn’t cool.
But it’s easy.
It’s easy to feel like this is all for nothing.
For a long time I struggled with finding my meaning of life. I think the human animal, for some odd reason, needs to have a why for it all.
Maybe we’re uncomfortable with our smallness, or maybe we never grew out of our childish disdain for being told what to do.
Either way, how are we supposed to jump off those swings?
It’s like no matter how productive you are, the pendulum will fall back, and you’ll return to dark thoughts of “yeah, but I might not be here tomorrow.”
It’s funny how perspective determines whether something is positive or negative. Death could be a meaning maker, but for most of us millennials it is the reason we feel hopeless.
I think we all want a good time.
We want to make the most of what we have while we’re here.
It’s almost like our own darkness is separate from us. Sometimes I feel like two different people. When I’m clear thinking- I can easily see how truly wealthy I am. I have my health, career, friends, fulfilling skills I’m pursuing, and I have the freedom to choose.
That’s heads.
The tails side- I’m overly sensitive, competitive, refuse to be told what to do, think everyone is out to get me, and see everything in a negative light.
I hate tails.
But I land on that coin often.
And It’s exhausting riding those swings.
I’m learning to jump off. I’ve realized I can’t stop having that energy, it’s just how I’m designed. Channeling it into something with intense focus is the only way to renew me, and flip the coin back to heads.
I started training muay thai, and each time I finish a session- I’m back to neutral. Writing also provides a type of clarity for the mind.
My advice isn’t for you to copy me.
It’s to design a life that returns you to heads.
Life is a pendulum. It’s in constant motion and impossible to keep one sided.
Your only goal should be to find a way to ride it without losing your composure.
#StayFoolish
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