Imagination is good for art, bad for decision making.
Restlessness was and always will be the cause of my struggles.
When I learned to differentiate impulsive delusional urges from reality- I got better of it. A lot of things look like options, but in reality, they aren’t.
Somedays I just wake up, and for no reason at all- it finds me. The idea. The bad idea that whispers- you should do this thing, make this leap, even though everything in your life is going well, you should start over.
It’s sabotage, by your self saboteur.
I used to like that magical feeling. You know that thing you hold inside, that you don’t share with anyone but can always retreat to when the going gets rough. Like a bartender, who’s an aspiring singer, but only 3 people have ever heard their voice.
Truth is, you kinda suck.
Sure, you’re great at certain things, you’ve got potential, but as you are right now, you suck. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. You’d have the life you desire.
There is good news.
Knowing where you suck is the first step to leveling up.
I didn’t want to believe Hogwarts rejected my application.
In a world where magic is real, I couldn’t accept that I’m not a wizard. That sucks shit.
But my cape-less crusaders, most of us aren’t. So what can we do? Sit here and cancel Hogwarts…. that just won’t do it.
We’ve got to make our own magic, wand-less and all, and the only way to do that is to get REAL with ourselves.
When I learned that I do this thing, get caught up in fantasy, take action on delusion and fuck up my life, only then could I stop doing it.
The train still comes, I just don’t get on it.
Yesterday, it visited me. I got hyped up by my own need to outshine everyone and get some recognition for my bigass ego, and I almost fucked it all up.
But, I left instead. Met with a friend, realized this is that thing I do, and then chilled and returned back to neutral.
We have to get real to get better.
You’re probably not a wizard, but you’re something and your only task is to be the best something you can.
#StayFoolish
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